The First Cut is the Deepest

I spent my lunch period in the school cafeteria at a table by myself. I expected it to be like that anyway. This was my first day after all. So while I ate my lunch, I read a book I brought to keep me occupied. And even though I hadn't been to all of the school buildings and rooms yet, I could easily say the cafeteria was my favorite place. It was a big cafeteria with a white and black harlequin floor pattern. There were about thirty or so tables scattered about the room with more tables outside. Each table could seat about eight people, but maybe more if you squished a bit. Even though this room was so big, it was hard for me to imagine fitting the whole student body in here. I didn't think it was possible. To me, it didn't even seem as if there were enough tables or seats for everyone. Of course though, I didn't expect everyone to be eating in the cafeteria at one time.

Another reason why this was my favorite place was also because of the food. For cafeteria food, it was pretty good. A little pricey to me, but it was worth it with the quality and taste of the food. A cool thing about paying though was that all you needed was your key card to swipe it through to pay. I wasn't exactly sure if there was a set amount on the key card or if it was added to your school bill, but I didn't really care because either way, I got my food. This just showed that this key card alone was so important and if I ever lost it, I would be so screwed. This place was definitely meant for the rich kids. Also, apparently, the cafeteria was always open, even if the food caterers weren't there and the food stall was closed. There were a bunch of different vending machines in the cafeteria with some more scattered about the school, selling different snacks and such. The more I found out about this school, the more I loved it.


The school day went by faster than I expected. After getting to know the school more as well as some of the students, I happily noted that not everyone was a complete dick like Will. All the people I spoke to were actually really nice and friendly and they even helped me when I got lost a few times. The only trouble I had today though was the variation of accents around here. There were so many different accents and variations, I couldn't keep track. Most of the people I talked to had an accent that was easy to understand, but with some other accents, I was having a little trouble. Some people's accents were so thick that I couldn't understand entirely what they were saying and instead nodded and smiled and hoped they didn't ask me a question. Other than that though, everything went by like a breeze.

When I got back to the room after class had ended, I wasn't surprised to find the room empty. I let a yawn escape my mouth as tossed my bag onto the floor next to my bed. I never knew first days took this much out of you. I laid down on my bed and decided to rest my eyes for a bit.

I opened my eyes though when I heard the door open. I found Will entering the room, sending a glare my way. It seemed like that was the only thing he could do.

"What?" I asked a little annoyed. He scoffed before he turned away and replied.

"Nothing," he said. I rolled my eyes at him and got up from my bed.

"You know what?" I asked as I stood in front of him, trying to make myself look at least a little bit taller. I silently cursed Will for being so tall. "Let's just get this out in the open. Why do you hate me?"

"Do you really have to ask?" he replied as he looked down at me. He was practically towering over me and I didn't like it. I instinctively took a step back from him and that made a small smirk appear on his face.

"I have a hunch on why, but please, tell me. Enlighten me to see if I'm right," I said as sat back on my bed.

"Fine," he said through clenched teeth as he crossed his arms over his chest. "To put it simply, I hate you because you're my roommate, while my own girlfriend isn't. There? Happy?" he asked.

"Actually, yes, I am. And since you told me that to my face, I'll gladly trade rooms with Annabella so you could room with her," I said as I stood and reached up to pat him on the shoulder. Will had a shocked expression on his face.

"Really? You would do that for me?" he asked hopefully. I scoffed before I replied.

"Psh! No! Do you think I would really do that for you? You've got to be kidding me," I said with a laugh as I turned away from.

"You little bitch..." he muttered angrily as I started to walk towards the bathroom.

"Face it, Will. I'm your roommate and you can't get rid of me so easily. You're just going to have to live with me until, oh, I don't know. Until this school year is over?" I finished with a laugh as I closed the bathroom door behind me. I leaned against the door and thought over what I just said. I let out a small giggle before I quickly used the bathroom.

I left the bathroom and found the room to be empty once again. I shrugged, thinking he got so pissed that he just had to leave. I grabbed all my school skirts and took out a mini sewing kit and began tailoring them to make them a bit shorter. After about an hour and a half of doing this, I was done with all my skirts. I sighed happily as I put the skirts and sewing kit back where they belonged.



I couldn't believe the damn yankee had just done that! She was so damn annoying and infuriating! I clenched my hands into fists and if I stayed any longer in this room, I would have probably done something really stupid that I would have probably regretted and possibly landed me in jail.

I made my way to the lift and went to Ann's room which was a floor above mine. I never realized how frustrating it was to have to take the lift to just go see my girlfriend. It was so much easier when she was my roommate and I didn't even have to leave the room if I wanted to see her. I breathed in as I got to her room, 61A. I knocked on the door and instead of Ann answering the door, her roommate did. I was a little worried at first that her roommate was a bloke, but after finally seeing him for myself, I felt that there wasn't a need to be worried anymore. He was a bit shorter than me, probably around 5'7. He was a skinny bloke with dark hair that covered his glasses clad eyes. As I did a once over at him, I noted that he definitely wasn't Ann's type.

"You're here to meet Annabella, right?" he asked. His voice was deeper than I expected.

"Yeah," I replied.

"She's in the bathroom. You can come inside," he said as pushed the door wider for me to enter.

"Thanks, mate," I said as I entered the room. I watched as he went to leave the room. "Oh, I never caught your name," I said. Ann hadn't told me his name yet.

"Travis," he said quietly. I held out my hand for him to shake. He hesitantly reached forward and shook my hand.

"I'm Will," I said politely. He let go of my hand before he spoke.

"I know who you are," he said before he turned to leave. He didn't sound annoyed when he said it. He said it in more, I don't know. Admiration? I looked at his retreating form in confusion, but shrugged it off as I heard the bathroom door open.

"Oh hey, baby," Ann said as she walked towards me. She pulled me close to her, planting a kiss on my lips as I shut the door behind me. "Did Travis leave?" she asked when she pulled away from me.

"Yeah, he just left. Where's he heading off to?" I asked. She shrugged.

"He reads a lot so I assume he's going to the library or something. He has a nice camera over there," she said as she thumbed towards his bed where a camera was placed on his bedside table. "So he's probably in the PJY club," she explained. I nodded my head. The PJY club stood for the Photography, Journalism, and Yearbook club. "I wasn't expecting to see you until later. What brings you here so early?" Ann asked as she led us to her bed and sat us down. Then I instantly remembered why I came here in the first place and I was filled with anger again.

"Ugh," I started. "That damn yankee is annoying the hell out of me!"

"Why? What'd she do?"

"She's being a little bitch," I seethed.

"Oh, come on. She can't be that bad."

"Trust me. She is. And I can't believe Chris touched her like that. He might catch something."

"Will, stop it. That's mean."

"Good. The damn yankee deserves it," I said before Ann pinched me on my arm. "Bloody hell! What was that for?!"

"You're being a wanker. She seems really nice. Now, stop being bitter, because I'm not your roommate," she lightly chided me. I sighed. There was no point trying to fight with Ann on this.

"I can't make you any promises," I said with a shrug.

"You can still try," she said with a smile. I sighed again before I replied.

"Fine," I said. She leaned up and kissed me on the lips. And let's just say that we both got distracted and got into a little snogging session.


I left Ann's room shortly after, telling her that I would see her tomorrow morning. I got in the lift and went to my room. I put the key card into the slot and the red light turned green. I heard a soft click and opened the door. I was quite surprised as to what I saw when I entered the room. I closed the door quietly behind me, still in slight shock.

The yankee was currently in a towel, her hair dripping wet. She obviously didn't see or hear me as she readjusted the towel to cover her more. She opened her wardrobe and pulled out some undergarments. It was an interesting choice of undergarments. I never expected her to be the type of girl to wear lace, especially red lace. I took slow, tentative steps into the room. I made it far enough to reach the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

If it wasn't for the fact that I accidentally dropped my key card onto the tile counter, making a clanking sound, the yankee wouldn't have noticed I was there and would have just continued changing. Of course though, I did drop my key card and the yankee turned around and gasped in shock. She was so surprised, her towel almost dropped to the floor, but she caught it just in time.

Damn. I didn't even get to see anything.

I thought as I did a once over her body. What did you expect from me? I was a teenage bloke with raging hormones. Even if it was the yankee, if a chance presented itself to me to see her naked, then so be it.

"Oh gosh..." she muttered as a deep shade of red, much like her undergarments, made its way up to her face. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked as she looked down. I shrugged.

"Apparently not long enough," I replied as I picked up my key card and held it in my hand.

"How long?"

"I came into the room just when you started to look through your wardrobe," I said with a small smirk. Her face seemed to turn even redder, if that was even possible. I heard her mutter something, but it was too quiet for me to hear.

"What was that?" I asked.



"I said," I started again as I looked up at him. "you broke your own rules." He looked confused.

"Huh?" he asked, tilting his head to the side slightly, making him look adorably cute.

"Rule number six, no looking at each other when they are changing or going or coming from the shower," I mocked him. A look of realization dawned on his face.

"Oh!" he started. "Yeah, that..." he turned away from me, rubbing the back of his neck, blushing slightly. He was actually blushing.

"Are... are you blushing?" I asked in shock. I stepped a bit closer to him to get a better look at his face. He really was. "Oh my gosh... You are! I can't believe you really are. Damn, where's my camera?!" I asked loudly, looking around the room. "This is probably the only time I can actually see you blush. And I don't know where my camera is!" I threw my free hand, the one that wasn't holding my towel in place, up in the air. He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was, but this was probably the only time I would ever see this.

"What?" he asked.

"Because you know this is so rare and," I stopped as I realized I was still in only a towel. "I'm gonna go finish changing now," I said quickly as I grabbed some clothes and rushed into the bathroom. As soon as I was in the bathroom and the door was locked behind me, I couldn't help but hit myself in the head with my palm. I couldn't believe I forgot to bring spare clothes before I got in the shower. At least I already had my bandage on my wrist along with a wrist band. It was still too early for anyone to even find out about this little secret.

I sighed and quickly changed into my clothes and left the bathroom. I ignored Will, who was lying on his bed, and sat cross legged on my own bed. I pulled out my cell phone and noticed that I had three messages waiting for me. The first message was from my best friend in California, Erin. I smiled at the name. I read the message and it was pretty much a good luck in England message and saying how much she missed me. I quickly replied saying thank you and how much I missed her too. I went back to the other two messages and my smile instantly turned into a frown. The all too familiar name of Jason appeared. Both texts were from him. I deleted both messages without even reading it. What was the point? He was a good for nothing dick and there was no need for me to read his pathetic texts of "apologies".

I tossed my phone onto my bed and bit at my fingernails as I leaned my back against the headboard. Why was he still texting and calling me? I thought I made it clear that I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. I closed my eyes to clear my head, but what happened that day flooded into my head instead.

"Jason?" I called quietly. I noticed his parents' car wasn't in the driveway, but his car was there.

Jason was my boyfriend then. He told me to come over and then we would go out to dinner for our two-month anniversary. When he didn't answer the door when I rang the doorbell, I walked inside as the door was unlocked. I called out his name again, but he still didn't answer. I got to his room and his door was open a crack. I was about to knock before opening the door completely, but I stopped when I heard a faint moan come from inside his room. I looked at the door in question. It sounded like a girl's moan.

"I'm breaking up with her tonight. At dinner," I heard Jason moan softly. I peeked inside through the crack and I was surprised at what I saw. Jason was on top of his ex-girlfriend, kissing her neck. I gasped softly, but it didn't seem like they noticed me yet.

"Good. It's about time. I've been waiting long enough. Two months is long enough." Two months? Today was our fucking two-month anniversary! He was fucking cheating on me this whole time?!

"Shh... Stop complaining. It'll end tonight," he purred. Oh, fuck no. I flung the door open right before he could take his damn pants off.

"You little fuck face! How dare you?! You cheating bastard!" I exploded.

"Nicole! How long were you there?" he jumped up off the bed and panicked. The whore whined as he stood up.

"Long enough, you asshole! I can't believe you!"

"Baby, let me explain!"

"Fuck that. There's no point in you trying to lie your way out of this since we're going to break up anyways. So spit it out. Did you even care about me? Did you even like me in first place? Go ahead. Tell me," I demanded as I crossed my arms over my chest. I was fuming.

"Fine," he said as he shrugged and his apologetic facade disappeared. "I used you. I might as well say that. I used you because she told me to," he said with a gesture to the half-naked girl on the bed. She smirked up at me, not even making a move to cover herself up. I narrowed my eyes at the both of them.

"Tracy, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I questioned as I turned to her. "Do you get a kick out of making people miserable?"

"Actually..." she started.

"You know what?" I started. "I don't want to hear it. There's already enough bullshit coming out of this asshole's mouth, so I don't need to hear more," I said as I gestured towards Jason. "It's over," I finished. I turned away and went to leave.

"It never started, hun!" I heard Jason say from behind me. I stopped in my tracks. I turned around angrily and stomped right up to him. He smirked down at me. Before he knew what was coming, I kicked him in the one place he thought that every girl wanted. I highly doubted anyone wanted his dick after I was done kicking it. He groaned and fell to the ground in pain.

"You disgust me," I said as I ripped off the charm bracelet he gave me for our one month anniversary and threw it onto the ground.

I quickly got in my car and made my way home. When I got there, I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Only then did I start crying. I was so angry back at his house, but now that I was in the comfort of my own home, I could just let myself go. Only then did everything really register in my head. I really liked Jason and I even opened up my heart to him. I told him things that only a few people knew about. I told him about my cutting and he was there for me. He even tried to make me stop. It was all a lie though. I opened the drawer and reached for the far end. I untaped the razor blade that was there and rolled up my sleeve, removing my wristband and bandages.

I hadn't cut in weeks since I met him, but now, I was cutting because of him. I took a deep breath as I swiped the blade across my skin quickly. A rush of pain went through my arm, running through my whole body. I felt... better. I pressed the blade deeper into my skin.

I watched as blood dripped from my wrist onto the tile floor. I stood there, staring at it for a minute or two. I felt light-headed. Everything seemed to blur. I started to tip side to side. My eyelids started to droop. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground. I didn't remember much after that. I only remembered seeing my blood on the tile floor.

I opened my eyes as the memory ended. I sighed and glanced at my wrist. I was sent to the emergency room for that. Of course it wasn't the first time that it happened. And of course, I told my mom I wouldn't do it again, but each time, I always did it. I really hoped though that I would keep my promise to her this time.

My cell phone lit up and I picked it up. I let the thoughts of Jason leave my mind as I read another text from Erin. I smiled to myself as I texted her back.