Someday I will Understand
Chapter 120 Love is hard to say good bye to
Kate started to slowly back off but was stopped as Gerard slipped his arm around her waist where he had her now in a tight embrace “Gerard what are you doing” Kate whispered as she stared Gerard in his hazel eyes
“What I should have done a long time ago” he replied as he bent to kiss her on the lips
Kate couldn’t allow this, she pushed Gerard back so that he stumbled and let go of her “Kate what the fuck?” Gerard yelled
“I can’t Gee…me and you we are over. I didn’t want to have to tell you but I will… Frank and I are trying to be a family for Sadie, partners…I’m sorry but I don’t love you anymore” she finally replied as tears started to well up in her eyes as she was pushing the love of her life away for good.
“So us…there really is no more “Gerard questioningly asked as he sat on the bed with his hands on his head.
“Yeh I’m sorry …I need to do what is best for Sadie and that for me is to give her a family with Frank, she needs to be with him he deserves that…I don’t want you to hate him or be angry. I wanted this and he agreed…. The only thing I’m scared of is that I’m going to break up your friendship and the band”
“Katie that will never happen, I can support your decision and if that’s what you want I’ll respect it…I’ve tried and I can see the love we had isn’t there anymore, I made the mistake of pushing you away in the first place and I’m always going to regret that but if I can see you happy then that’s all that matters and I will try to move on with my life” Gerard expressed
Kate hated the way she was feeling but knew it had to be this way so that she would no longer hurt Gerard anymore and so that he could move on while she suffered in her own turmoil.
Getting up to go Kate turned towards Gerard who she could see had a tear sliding down his cheek, so much she wanted to comfort him but yet she held back rather she walked over and kissed him softly on the cheek and whispered “I’ll love you always…I hope we can be friends”
Gerard looked up and smile, hearing those words was making him melt, quickly he moved his head so that his lips locked with Kate who held the kiss and not wanting it to end, slowly their lips separated where they stared at one another gazing into each other’s eyes not wanting to let the moment disappear.
Gerard placed his arms around Kate wanting to take everything of her in from the smell of her perfume to the touch of her skin against his, Kate on the other hand didn’t want to let go either, she felt like she needed him as being with him all her problems had disappeared there was nothing but happiness between them.
Kate was stronger and knew mentally she had to be, the time was to say goodbye and to finally put a close on the relationship that they had…To her it was becoming hard she didn’t want to but it was to be.
Slowly Kate moved backwards to walk away but Gerard would have none of it, he could feel that Kate didn’t want this and he wanted her to see that what she was doing was wrong “Katie please don’t go”
“I have to Gerard…There is nothing there I can’t do this anymore with us…we gave it our best and well it just wasn’t meant to be” Kate replied
Gerard embraced her in one last hug where he grabbed her body and felt it against his, so badly he wanted to make love to her and to take away the responsibility she had come to occur, to show her that everything was going to be ok. Placing his hand on her cheek he looked directly in to her dazzling blue eyes that wanted to let tears fall from them and kissed her once again softly on the lips, starting off with small kisses their lips became entwined and the kiss became more passionate as Gerard slipped his hand under Kate’s top and started to feel her smooth soft skin.
She wanted so much more of him to feel his touch against her, for him to make love to her, it was all so captivating.
Gerard wished for her to let her guard down more where he could just sweep her off her feet but Kate knew that if she didn’t leave now she never would and then she would be back in the cycle of a downward spiral with her relationship with Gerard.
“Stop please” she whispered
‘Katie I know you don’t want me to stop” Gerard replied back
“please stop”
Gerard stopped what he was doing and let go of Kate, walking away Kate couldn’t say anything, grabbing her bag that was on the floor she picked it up and walked out the hotel room door.
She quickly exited the hotel and made her way to where the valet was to pick her car, once her car had arrived she got in and drove as fast as she could to get out of there, tears were falling down her face and the only place she could think of going was to the cemetery to where her son was buried to find some peace but yet still be left alone.
Kate finally returned back to the hotel where her and Frank were staying sometime after dinner, Frank didnt question what had happened he thought Kate would need sometime by herself and he knew that he would need to have the same talk with Gerard and give him his point of view but still not wanting to ruin the brother ship they had.
“What I should have done a long time ago” he replied as he bent to kiss her on the lips
Kate couldn’t allow this, she pushed Gerard back so that he stumbled and let go of her “Kate what the fuck?” Gerard yelled
“I can’t Gee…me and you we are over. I didn’t want to have to tell you but I will… Frank and I are trying to be a family for Sadie, partners…I’m sorry but I don’t love you anymore” she finally replied as tears started to well up in her eyes as she was pushing the love of her life away for good.
“So us…there really is no more “Gerard questioningly asked as he sat on the bed with his hands on his head.
“Yeh I’m sorry …I need to do what is best for Sadie and that for me is to give her a family with Frank, she needs to be with him he deserves that…I don’t want you to hate him or be angry. I wanted this and he agreed…. The only thing I’m scared of is that I’m going to break up your friendship and the band”
“Katie that will never happen, I can support your decision and if that’s what you want I’ll respect it…I’ve tried and I can see the love we had isn’t there anymore, I made the mistake of pushing you away in the first place and I’m always going to regret that but if I can see you happy then that’s all that matters and I will try to move on with my life” Gerard expressed
Kate hated the way she was feeling but knew it had to be this way so that she would no longer hurt Gerard anymore and so that he could move on while she suffered in her own turmoil.
Getting up to go Kate turned towards Gerard who she could see had a tear sliding down his cheek, so much she wanted to comfort him but yet she held back rather she walked over and kissed him softly on the cheek and whispered “I’ll love you always…I hope we can be friends”
Gerard looked up and smile, hearing those words was making him melt, quickly he moved his head so that his lips locked with Kate who held the kiss and not wanting it to end, slowly their lips separated where they stared at one another gazing into each other’s eyes not wanting to let the moment disappear.
Gerard placed his arms around Kate wanting to take everything of her in from the smell of her perfume to the touch of her skin against his, Kate on the other hand didn’t want to let go either, she felt like she needed him as being with him all her problems had disappeared there was nothing but happiness between them.
Kate was stronger and knew mentally she had to be, the time was to say goodbye and to finally put a close on the relationship that they had…To her it was becoming hard she didn’t want to but it was to be.
Slowly Kate moved backwards to walk away but Gerard would have none of it, he could feel that Kate didn’t want this and he wanted her to see that what she was doing was wrong “Katie please don’t go”
“I have to Gerard…There is nothing there I can’t do this anymore with us…we gave it our best and well it just wasn’t meant to be” Kate replied
Gerard embraced her in one last hug where he grabbed her body and felt it against his, so badly he wanted to make love to her and to take away the responsibility she had come to occur, to show her that everything was going to be ok. Placing his hand on her cheek he looked directly in to her dazzling blue eyes that wanted to let tears fall from them and kissed her once again softly on the lips, starting off with small kisses their lips became entwined and the kiss became more passionate as Gerard slipped his hand under Kate’s top and started to feel her smooth soft skin.
She wanted so much more of him to feel his touch against her, for him to make love to her, it was all so captivating.
Gerard wished for her to let her guard down more where he could just sweep her off her feet but Kate knew that if she didn’t leave now she never would and then she would be back in the cycle of a downward spiral with her relationship with Gerard.
“Stop please” she whispered
‘Katie I know you don’t want me to stop” Gerard replied back
“please stop”
Gerard stopped what he was doing and let go of Kate, walking away Kate couldn’t say anything, grabbing her bag that was on the floor she picked it up and walked out the hotel room door.
She quickly exited the hotel and made her way to where the valet was to pick her car, once her car had arrived she got in and drove as fast as she could to get out of there, tears were falling down her face and the only place she could think of going was to the cemetery to where her son was buried to find some peace but yet still be left alone.
Kate finally returned back to the hotel where her and Frank were staying sometime after dinner, Frank didnt question what had happened he thought Kate would need sometime by herself and he knew that he would need to have the same talk with Gerard and give him his point of view but still not wanting to ruin the brother ship they had.