I Don't Like Your Girlfriend

It’s been a month since I took Matt back. It has been amazing. He is truly the love of my life. He still talks to Val and goes to see her every now and then. I am not happy with it, but I trust him. And it’s hard to just get over someone that you have been with for over two years and had strong feelings for.

I was reading a book when my stomach flipped upside down and I felt bile rising up from my stomach. I threw the book and ran to the bathroom and threw up. I emptied out all the contests of my stomach and wiped my mouth with a towel that was by the toilet. I sighed and leaned back against the wall.

“Babe, are you okay?” Matt asked walking in and kneeling down in front of me.

“I don’t know, my stomach was fine one minute, then I just wanted to throw up,” I said rubbing my head. He sighed and pulled me against his chest. I wrapped my arms around his stomach.

“Maybe you have the flu. I know Taylor had it last week and you guys have been hanging out, maybe you caught it,” he said rubbing my back. I nodded against his chest and sighed. I had a feeling it wasn’t the flu.

“Lets get you back to bed and I’ll run out to the store and get you some ginger ale and soup, okay?” he said standing me up. I nodded and kissed his cheek.

“You are the best hun,” I said as he walked me back to the bed. I laid back down and he covered me up. I smiled up at him and he kissed my forehead.

“I’ll be back okay. Just rest,” he said walking out of the bedroom. As soon as he shut the door I grabbed my phone and called my doctor. I made an appointment for today in 20 minutes. I called Matt and told him that I had an appointment to just make sure that it was the flu. He wanted to take me, but I told him I could do it.

I drove over to the doctors and sat in the waiting room. I had a feeling that I was pregnant. I really want to be. I have always wanted kids. When I was little I always dreamed about marring a guy and having 5 or more kids. I picked out names and everything. And at the time, the guy I wanted to marry was Matt.

“Eva Davis?” the nurse said. I smiled and got up and followed her into a room.

“So why are you here today?” She asked. I rubbed my arm nervously.

“Um, I have been feeling really tired lately and I threw up today. It was out of the blue. I was feeling fine, tired, but fine and my stomach just churned and I threw up,” I said looking at the nurse. She nodded and wrote something down in my file.

“Anything else? Lower stomach pain?” she asked. I nodded.

“Yeah. Sometimes it feels like I have period cramps, but I know that it isn’t even close to my period. And my last period was lighter than normal,” I said. She nodded and wrote something down again.

“So, you want a pregnancy test?” she asked. I nodded and she smiled at me.

“Let me go get one ready and Dr. Wilcox will be in shortly to do a vaginal exam,” she said. She told me to change into the gown. Once she left I changed and covered myself with the blanket that was laying on the table.

“Hello Eva, How are you today?” Dr. Wilcox smiled as she sat down on the stool.

“Good, just feeling a little sick,” I said. She nodded and started to explain what she was going to do.
She got me all set up and got what she needed. I sat back up and smiled.

“Now, get dressed and take this into the bathroom across the hall. Once you are done, leave it on the back of the toilet,” she said handing me a cup. I nodded and sighed. I got dressed and peed in the cup. I left it on the back of the toilet like she said and walked back into my room. I sat back up on the table and waited. I started to play with the loose threads on my jeans.

After a couple of minutes, but to me it felt like hours, my doctor came in.

“I’m sorry, but you aren’t pregnant. And the test we ran showed that you even if you were to get pregnant, you will miscarry. While I was looking, your wall didn’t seem strong enough to support a child,” she said. I was in shock. I wasn’t pregnant, and never will be.
The doctor was telling me my options if I wanted kids. But at one point I just blocked her out.
How was I going to tell Matt? He has told me that he has always wanted kids. I do too. And now we can’t.

I left the doctors office and headed home. I walked in and sighed.

“Hey babe, You okay?” Matt said walking towards me. I looked up at him and just broke down.

“Woah babe, what’s wrong?” He asked wrapping his arms around me. I just wrapped my arms around his neck and cried.

“Shhh, It will be okay babe. Whatever it is, it will be okay,” he said rubbing my back. I shook my head and pulled away.

“No it won’t Matt. It will not be okay,” I said looking up at him. He frowned and cupped my face in his hands.

“Why babe?” he asked using his thumb to wipe the tears away.

“Because I went to the doctor because I thought I was pregnant,” I said. His face lit up for a split second. It’s like he was excited, but then realized I was crying.

“I’m not. And I never will be,” I choked out crying more. He pulled me close to him.

“What did they tell you?” he asked rubbing my back and kissing my head.

“That even if I was to get pregnant, I will just miscarry it. My body cannot carry a child. I will never have kids,” I said crying harder.

“I just want to have kids Matt! When I was little that’s all I thought about! I would plan it out in classes and at recess. I dreamed of marring you and us having 5 kids! But I can’t Matt! I just can’t!” I cried pulling away from him and looking up at him. He sighed and kissed me.

“Babe, I am happy just being with you. We can adopt,” he said. I shook my head.

“It’s not the same! The baby won’t have your dimples and my eyes. Or your nose and my smile! It won’t be the same Matt,” I cried. I was shaking down from being so upset. Matt wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back and rocked us back and forth. After awhile, I ran out of tears. He pulled away and lifted my head up to look at him.

“We will work something out, okay? I love you,” he said kissing me. I smiled a weak smile.

“I love you too,” I said. He smiled and kissed me again. The kiss was interrupted with his phone ringing. He groaned and answered it. I heard the voice and just about freaked out. It was Val. I slapped his chest and walked away. I walked into the living room and turned on the TV.

“Sorry babe… Val wants to talk to me about something,” he said. I just ignored him and paid attention to the TV.
I heard him sigh and walk behind me. He leaned over the back of the couch so his head was right by mine. I sighed and turned my head towards his.

“I’ll be back soon okay?” he said. I rolled my eyes and nodded. He kissed me and left. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I grabbed my phone and called my mother.

“Hello hunny,” she said. I smiled.

“Hey, um, so,” I started. I explained everything to her. From me wanting to kill Val to what happened today.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry hun!” She said. I just sighed.

“Well, there is a thing you can do. You find a woman to carry the baby full term and then they give birth and have the baby and then you get to go home with the baby,” she said. I nearly dropped the phone.

“How?” I asked. She explained it to me. I just about freaked out. I can have a baby. I won’t be able to carry it, but I will have a baby! A baby that will look like me and Matt.

I called my doctor and asked her about it. She said that it will work. I just need to find someone to carry it. I set up an appointment to come in so she can get my egg and Matt’s sperm. Now, to find someone to carry it.
I jumped off of the couch and grabbed my purse and ran to my car. I sped off to the house.

“TAYLOR!” I yelled running into her house. She walked out of the kitchen.

“Woah, where is the fire?” she said. I ran up and hugged her. I explained everything to her.

“Talyor…You have been my best friend for years. And I was wondering if you could carry the baby?” I asked. She had a look of horror, then it went to shock, then it went to excitement.

“OF COURSE!” she yelled. I smiled and hugged her.

“Now, I need to talk it over with Brian, but I’m all for it. If he says no though, then I can’t,” she said. I nodded. She may seem like Brian runs her. But this is a big deal. If Brian isn’t happy with it, then it’s a no go.

I hung out there for awhile and went back home. Matt was home. Time to tell him my idea.
I walked in and just about flipped shit. Val was there.

“Eva!” she said walking over to me and hugged me. I wanted to slap her.

“I’m so sorry for everything I did. Matt is perfect for you. I am also sorry for what you are going through right now. My aunt had the same problem, but you can adopt right?” She said. I looked over her shoulder at Matt. He stood there with his head down.

“Uh yeah, we can. Me and Matt need to talk about it first,” I said pushing past her and walking up stairs. I slammed the door. He fucking told her! Really! Out of everyone, her! I threw my purse on the floor and walked over to my closet and flug the door open, I started throwing things around trying to find something to change into. I heard a knock on the door.

“Eva?” Matt asked through the door. I groaned and walked over to the bedroom door and opened it. He looked up with sad eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said. I rolled my eyes.

“You told her. Out of everyone, Val? Matt, this is personal. I don’t want her knowing what is going on with us,” I said crying.

“Eva, I am sorry. But it just slipped out. I didn’t mean to. But I just tell her everything and she helps me,” he said. I cried more.

“You tell her everything? What the fuck Matt,” I said slamming the door in his face and locking it. He knocked on it. I groaned and walked into the bathroom and started a bath.
Matt kept knocking and gave up after he heard me slam the bathroom door shut. I stripped off my clothes and sank into the nice warm tub and I let all my troubles just fly away.