How Dark Is the Night?

There were lights everywhere until I focused my eyes. When they adjusted to the lights I saw myself laying on a table of an operating room. I was hooked up to all kinds of devices and an oxygen machine. And it looked like I was being operated on.

“Ok, Pete, where are you? I don’t like this dream and I know you are lurking here somewhere.” I said wishing I could wake up from this nightmare.

I turned around and saw no Pete. I started to panic. The only thing I could think of was to search for a waiting room. Maybe Pete was in there. I didn’t like this dream at all.

I ran down the hall and found a waiting room that I saw everyone was in. All of my friends were here. They were all fighting with each other on who’s fault it was that I was in the hospital. Everyone was blaming themselves.

“Stop it guys! Stop fighting. I know this is a dream. Will someone tell me what is going on?” I asked them. It was like they couldn’t hear me. No one even looked at me. This was odd and I couldn’t remember anything to understand why I would be dreaming of being in a hospital. Was this somehow a warning?

“I can’t lose her. I can feel her slipping from me slowly. I try to tell her to fight but I can’t get into her thoughts or dreams. It’s like I’m shut out.” I heard Pete say.

I walked over to him and wanted to cry. I was standing right here in front of him. How could he not see me?

“Pete, it’s me. I hear you. I’m here. I’m not slipping away. This is a dream. Can’t you feel me?” I asked as I kneeled in front of him on the floor and took his hand, only my hand went right through his.

“Pete?” I asked looking at my hands.

“They can’t hear you. No one can.” I heard a familiar voice say. I turned towards the voice afraid for I knew that voice and it was William Beckett.

“No. Leave me alone!” I said running out of the room past him to try and get away from him. I ran back to the operating room realizing I had ran through the door.

“What is happening to me?” I said walking over to myself and starting to cry.

I saw Beckett appear in front of me and I didn’t move. I had only one question and it was, “Am I dead or dying?”

“Amanda, I am not here to hurt you so don’t be afraid of me. I am actually here to help you. You are not dead, yet, but you are slowly dying. You aren’t fighting hard enough.” He said.

“I don’t understand.” I said.

“You don’t remember how you ended up here?” Beckett asked.

“No. If I am not dead yet then I can’t be a ghost like you, right? And if I am not a ghost and this isn’t a dream then what am I?” I said confused.

“You are having a slight out of body experience. You went through a traumatic event.” He said trying to refresh my memory. It didn’t trigger anything.

“Amanda, close your eyes and focus. Do you remember fighting Volkmar?” Beckett asked.

I closed my eyes and tried hard to remember. I started to see shapes until I saw me fighting Volkmar and the party and telling Pete I loved him and the baby. No, the baby.

“William, what about the baby? Is it alright now?” I asked.

“For right now the baby is fine but won’t be for long.” He replied.

“I’m here because of my fight with Volkmar. William, I don’t want him to hurt my friends. I have to stop him.” I said.

“No wonder Pete likes you. You have a fighting spirit.” He said.

“How do I go back? I can’t die. This can’t be the end. I love Pete and my friends too much. I can’t leave them like this. I have to be hanging on this long for something, right?” I asked.

“The only way to fight back is in you. All this time I have tried to warn you where the others couldn’t get through. That is how I was to make everything up to you. I appeared to you and everyone thought you were crazy. I was trying to warn you about tonight. You refused to listen or we were cut off from our connection. Your mom even warned you in your dream you had that one night.” William explained.

“I don’t understand.” I said confused.

“You must become the slayer again. I was trying to get you to realize who you are.” He said.

“But I’m not the slayer anymore. Kat is. I lost my abilities after Dracula.” I replied.

“No, you buried them. You never lost them. Actually they have tried to break out but you have mentally blocked them.” Beckett replied.

“How?” I asked.

“You were given a chance to be happy and normal for awhile. You got used to it and subconsciously blocked out your abilities when they were needed again. Every once in awhile you would slip and they would come out but you never chose to believe that you had your slaying abilities. You knew when Kat was going to attack Pete the night you met her and pushed him out of the way. You sensed the danger he was in. And you knew Micah was a good vampire. But you buried them inside of you. They never left.” He said explaining.

“And my mom was in my dream. That should have tipped me off. Why didn’t Nick come into my dreams?” I asked.

“You blocked your slaying out so he couldn’t get into your dreams. Your mom was only was able to come into your dreams because some loved ones are able to do that. That’s how you hear of family members dreaming of their loved ones which is normal. You believed that. She did the best she could at trying to warn you.” Beckett said.

“So how do I get it back? How do I come back? I don’t want to die. I don’t want my baby to die.” I said.

“That depends on you.” William said motioning me to follow him back into the waiting room.

“Take a good look at your friends.” William said.

I saw all of their faces. I saw the worry. I saw the confusion in their eyes and the hurt. Most of all I saw Pete. I walked over to him. I wanted to touch him so bad.

“Pete, I love you. Don’t give up on me. I need you now more then ever.” I said taking my hand and touching his face. I actually touched it this time.

I looked at Beckett who motioned for me. “We have to hurry. You don’t have much time. I nodded and looked back at Pete who had stopped talking and touched his face where I did. He kind of smiled but I could tell was still worried.

We walked back into the O.R. “This is worse then when you attacked me, well, um, you know.” I said looking away.

“Yes. And it wasn’t me but I still want to apologize.” He said.

“It’s ok.” I said.

“So this is it. What do I have to do? I am ready.” I replied.

“Give me your hand.” He replied.

“I can touch you?” I asked.

“You did Pete didn’t you?” He answered.

I took his hand and he told me that I needed to be careful. He also told me someone would hurt me and that I needed to save two people and that when the time came I would know what to do. He mentioned also about slayers having the same blood. But that was all he could tell me. When he was done telling me this I pulled him into a hug. I finally felt safe enough to be around him.

“Thank you, William, for everything.” I said.

“It is the least I can do. Oh, and congrats on the baby.” He replied.

“You know what it is that you could share?

“You will know, Amanda.” He said cryptically.

“Will I see you again?” I asked.

“Maybe, you never know.” He said.

I walked over and stood in front of myself on the operating table. “Now, focus on being the slayer. Focus on that which you love. And it must come from your heart. Your slayer abilities will help heal you when you accept what you are and always have been.” Beckett said as I closed my eyes.

I was taking a turn for the worse. I could feel it. The monitors were going off which wasn’t good. I needed to focus hard and I needed to do it fast.

“I am the slayer. It is my job to protect people. I am the slayer. I do it for those I love. I can’t give up. I have to fight. I have to fight!” I said hearing silence all around me before fading out.