Trashed and Scattered

I stood up quickly and ran up the stairs. Yes I ran and it hurt like hell. I looked and saw Kayla up on a chair and a huge ass spider on the floor. I screamed.

“Save me!” Kayla yelled.

“I would but...it’s gonna eat me!!” I screamed and turned around.

“Magen please?” Kayla screamed.

“Only for you!” I grabbed a random shoe and started beating the shit out of the spider. NO really shit was coming out of it.

“Ewwy I see shit.” I said and started laughing. Kayla climbed down the chair and hugged me.

“Thankyou!”

“Where’s Ville?” I asked.

“Right here loves.”

“God damn it Ville you’re the one who’s supposed to smash the shit out of a spider that’s going to eat Kayla not me!” I whined. He chuckled.

“I’m sorry love.”

“Yeah whatever. Go have sex or something.” I muttered and walked to the couch and sat down. Pain is not fun. My leg hurt. It’s never going to get better in a house like this. I closed my eyes. I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes I saw nobody. I made a whining noise.

“Bam?” I called. No answer.

“Nicole!” Nicole came running into the room with a baseball bat. Ashley, Kayla, and Kai right behind her with a hockey stick, a knife, and a banana. I gave Kai a funny look.

“You were going to protect me with a banana?”

“Well first I was going to squirt the nasty stuff inside in the persons eye and then put the banana peel on the ground and hope they slip.” She shrugged. I laughed.

“Where’s Bam?” They all gave me a sad like look.

“What?”

“He left 2 hours ago for his skating tour thing.” Kayla said.

“Oh.” I was sad but I still told him to go.

“Why didn’t anyone wake me?”

“Because you looked to damn cute to wake up.” Ashley said. I laughed.

“Damn...that sucks.” I stood up and stretched.

“I’m hungry.”

“Here you go.” Kai handed me her banana.

“I don’t want your banana! You a sicko!” I yelled. She started laughing.

“I’m going to drink one of the Monsters you people bought me.” I walked down into the Pirate Bar when I heard an Indian yell. I turned and saw Dico dressed as an Indian. I screamed and started limping down the stairs. Then I heard Raab screaming from downstairs.

“Oh shit!” I yelled and went into the fetal position. I heard laughing and looked up. I stuck my tounge out at Raab and Dico and stood up and hobbled to the Pirate Bar.

“And tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef. That I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him.” I sang. Don’t Trust Me by 3Oh!3 is an awesome song. I grabbed a Monster and sat down. My phone started ringing.

“Ello this is Magen’s Porn shop how may I pleasure you?”

“Wow nice way to answer the phone.” Bam laughed.

“Bam!” I squealed.

“Magen! How are you hun?”

“Bleh my leg hurts but other then that I’m fine. Oh and did I mention Kai tried to save me with a banana?”

“Save you?”

“Well I called your name and there was no answer so I called Nicole’s name. So Nicole ran in with a baseball bat, Kayla with a hockey stick, Ashley with a knife and Kaii...with a banana...”

“Oh wow. Magen you have weird friends.”

“Like you don’t!”

“True.” He laughed.

“So where are you?”

“We’re heading to New York first.”

“Coolio. Have fun. I’ll be sure to watch it!”

“Yeah you better.” I laughed. Dico came running into the Pirate Bar screaming.

“What’s wrong Di hoe?” Dico just hid behind me and Raab came running in with a paintball gun.

“Oh shit you better not hit me bitch!” I yelled. Raab fired at Dico, missed, and of course, hit me.

“You ass wipe!” I screamed. I chased after him and tackled his ass, ignoring the pain in my foot. I slapped him.

“Stupid! I said don’t hit me!” He laughed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean too.”

“Liar.” I looked at my arm and had a small welt with a bruise. I grabbed hit paintball gun and shot him in the torso a few times. He yelled and ran away.

“Yeah you better run!” I screamed going back into the Pirate Bar. I grabbed my phone that I had dropped.

“Sorry about that.” Bam was laughing his ass off.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Raab came in trying to hit Dico with a paintball gun, hit me, I chased him and tackled him then shot him like 6 times in the chest with it and he ran away screaming like a little girl.”

“Nice. Got revenge. Very nice indeed. Babe I gotta go.” Bam said.

“Aww okay. Bye.”

“Love you.”

“I love you too.” I pressed end and stood up. Time to go relax. Wait..what am I talking about? This is a crazy house. It’s more like time to go party!