‹ Prequel: The Pros and Cons of Loving
The Pros and Cons of Growing Up
Part Thirteen
Eric’s POV
I officially had three weeks off of school, and they couldn’t have come at a better time. Christmas was a week and a half away, Frank and Gerard were gone until the 24th, and Aiden was starting to eat more than he had since he’d gotten home.
I came into our house to find him asleep on the couch, the remote control in his hand. I eased the remote from his hand and he grabbed my hand instead, squeezing it.
“Hi, baby.” I whispered, kissing him gently.
He kissed back. “Hey.”
“Are you feeling okay? You’re sleeping on the couch.”
He nodded. “I got dizzy and… I laid down.” He sat up, still holding my hand.
I sat down by him, sighing quietly, and wrapped an arm around him. He rested his head on my chest and then nuzzled his head underneath my chin. I rocked him gently back and forth.
“Daddy called today.” He muttered into my shirt.
“Yeah?”
“They’re in Japan… he loves it there so much that I never knew why we didn’t pick up and move there.”
I rubbed his back. “Because Frank loves Canada.”
Aiden nodded. “I always said I’d never leave this street… because of you.” Aiden was talking slowly. I don’t know if it was because he was feeling sick or if he was just tired. “Dad tried to move once, like… when you and I first started talking. He said he needed change… I refused.”
I smiled and kissed the top of his head.
“Eric, I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you.” He shook his head. “Don’t tell me it’s okay because it isn’t… and I know I’ve gotta change… I just appreciate that you’re putting up with me and that you love me and care for me enough to let me take that time.”
“I’d wait forever, honey. And we are going to get you better.”
He nodded and squeezed my hand. “I know… I know…”
I continued to rock him back and fourth, humming, until he sat up.
“Wanna… try to eat out tonight?”
My eyes widened in shock.
“I mean… don’t be mad if I don’t eat a lot. Because I am honestly trying. It’s hard… I know it’s just eating and… it shouldn’t be. But it’s really hard.”
“Let’s go.” I said, standing. He looped his hand through mine immediately and we left the house. We must have been a sight. Two ‘emo’ boys, one dressed in jeans and one in his pajamas, both of us with dark hair heading to a car in the middle of the day.
We didn’t care though, like we never had. What people said, or didn’t say, never mattered to us. As long as I had Aiden, fuck everyone else…
Frank’s POV
“Gerard, we have to be home for Christmas Eve!” I shouted angrily. “You promised me we would be home around 6 am Christmas Eve!”
“Frank, I didn’t—.”
“I’m not doing it. I don’t give a fuck, Gerard. This is why we quit touring for so long! I remember now! Because you put a show above everything!”
“These kids are our lives.”
“No! No, these kids aren’t our lives anymore! Maybe when I was 20. Now our kids are our lives and our kids don’t want to spend Christmas alone.” I took several deep breaths. “Tell them we won’t do it. Ray, Mikey, nor Bob want to miss Christmas Eve either. We are not doing the show, Gerard.”
Mikey, Ray, and Bob all surveyed the fight, Bob trying to make it look like he was reading a magazine and Mikey on his sidekick, but it was still obvious. Everyone was listening.
“Frank—.”
“Listen, Gerard… I don’t feel comfortable touring while Aiden is sick. You knew that when we came… and I’m done. Okay? You aren’t 25 years old anymore… give it up.” I shook my head, storming off….
Gerard’s POV
“I don’t see why you’re giving me the fucking silent treatment. We’re in the car, on the way home.”
“I just wish you’d get over this fucking shit.” Frank fumed. I almost wished I’d let him stay silent. “First you go off and get with that whore. Now you’re freaking out about tour… Gerard, you’re fifty fucking years old.”
“I am forty-eight, thank you very much.” I scoffed.
“What? Is this a midlife crisis that’s lasting ten years or something? Or have you gone fucking insane?”
“Do you have to bring her up every damn time you’re pissed at me?” I snapped, not taking my eyes off of the road.
“After what you fucking put me through, Gerard Way, I will bring it up however much I fucking want!” Frank shouted. “I can’t believe you sometimes! It’s like you’re still fucking 20!”
“Well you didn’t know me when I was 20 did you?! You were in a fucking coma then I believe! Because you tried to KILL YOURSELF!”
“Let it go! LET IT FUCKING GO! How many times did you try to kill yourself? Cut yourself? You want to bring shit I did as a teenager into this, let’s go! Remember the time you were so fucking high—.”
“STOP IT!” I shouted, shaking.
Frank fell silent. I had pulled over at some point, though I didn’t even remember doing so. I was taking in deep breaths, as was he, as we both stared each other down.
Then Frank winced, bringing his hand to his forehead.
“Frankie?” I asked, my anger ebbing away.
He shook his head, still cringing and obviously in pain.
“Frankie.” I grabbed his hand and forced him to look me in the eyes.
“Just go.” He said angrily. “Get me home.”
“Fine.” I scoffed and started the car….
Frank’s POV
“Please don’t be a dick. I don’t want the boys to know we were fighting.” I said as we pulled to a stop outside of our house.
“Fine.” Gerard scoffed, getting out and getting our bags out of the back of the car. “It’s not like our house isn’t fucked up enough anyways.”
I heard him still muttering as I went inside. Eric and Aiden were fast asleep on the couch, curled together. It was 8 in the morning. I went straight to the kitchen, pulling out food to make breakfast.
Gerard was putting stuff up upstairs while I cooked. The house was silent and I welcomed the silence. It gave me time to think. I could see Aiden and Eric curled on the couch, Aiden’s arm draped across Eric’s waist. Eric’s hand was rested on Aiden’s, which was rested on Eric’s stomach.
Part of me was glad Aiden was home, but I hated knowing he was sick again. I was beginning to notice his face was thinner, which I knew was very bad. You had to lose a lot of weight to lose it in your face.
I just hoped he got better soon. I also hoped my headache would go away because to be honest, it was killing me. I left the oven and got out the Tylenol and when I looked back, Aiden’s blue eyes were staring at me.
“Hey.” I waved.
He sat up and, without waking Eric, came into the kitchen. He hugged me, nuzzling his head in my shoulder after bending down slightly.
“Hey, honey.” I whispered, kissing his forehead. “You feeling okay?”
“I’m hungry.” He admitted.
“Pancakes will be done by the time you get a drink and plate.” I told him, grinning.
He smiled and poured himself some orange juice, then tried to pat his messy hair down. He was sitting at the table, half asleep, when I brought his plate of food over. Not too threatening. Not very much scrambled eggs and two small pancakes. He gave me a thankful smile and picked up his fork, digging into his eggs.
“Have you boys been okay without us?”
“Yeah. Bella’s been over a lot. You put her up to it, didn’t you?”
There was no point in even lying, so I nodded.
“I hate how she only comes over when something is wrong.” Aiden sighed.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean she never visits. Jack even forgot who Eric was for a long while there… I mean, Eric is as much his uncle as I am. It pisses me off.” He shoved more eggs into his mouth, like he was afraid if he didn’t occupy himself he would say something he regretted.
“Now listen, Aiden… don’t be angry with her. Jack has been sick a lot.”
Aiden’s fork quit moving. “He has?”
“Didn’t you notice how small he is?” I asked.
He looked like he was concentrating, then nodded. “He was small, I guess…”
“I think he’s Epstein-Barr, personally. I’ve got that, you know?”
“You do?” Aiden asked, watching me.
I nodded, making more pancakes for Eric, Gerard, and myself. I had noticed it was much easier to get Aiden to eat alone, without people watching his every move. I took a mental note of that. Aiden’s plate was half empty.
“Yeah. That’s one of the reasons I was sick a lot… ya know?”
“One of? What do you mean?”
“When I was 17 I tried to kill myself.”
Aiden’s fork clattered to the ground noisily and he looked up at me, his eyes wide. “Why?”
“Is this really the proper discussion for right now?”
“Yes. Why did you try to—.” He sputtered, clearly distraught.
Gerard walked into the room. “What’d he do?”
Aiden’s eyes widened and he looked at me.
“It’s okay. Your father knows.” I said, putting three pancakes on a plate for Gerard.
“What do I know?” Gerard asked in a whiny voice. “Why am I always left out?”
“I’m telling him about when I was 17.”
“Why the fuck are you talking about that?” Gerard snapped. He tended to get very emotional when I talked about when I tried to kill myself… either time.
“We got onto why I was sick a lot and I was getting around to telling him about the coma.” I snapped back, glaring.
“Dad, what--?” Aiden nearly whimpered. “Why?”
“Because his dad tried to keep him away from me.” Gerard said nastily. “Frankie took a bunch of pills, knocked his head open, and fell into a coma for a year.”
“A year?” Aiden gasped.
“Yes, a year.” I nodded. “Ever since then I get sick easily and… It’s just not fun.”
“Yeah well that was one time.” Gerard muttered
“Gerard…” I said slowly, glaring at Gerard.
“What, you mean you tried to kill yourself twice?!”
“When I was sixteen I had a rough time in school and yes, I tried to kill myself.” I explained, glaring at Gerard still.
“Dad.” Aiden whimpered again.
“I’m fine now, okay? Now I’m just worried about you…” I said.
Aiden, still looking distressed, nodded and pushed his empty plate aside. He looked around the room, back and fourth at Gerard and I. “And here you guys are today…”
“It’s taken a lot to get us here.” Gerard said. “But… everything we went through, its worth it for where we are now.”
I felt myself smiling. “It is. Now both your dad and I are happy, our kids have grown into amazing people, and we’ve got our little terror Jack to corrupt. Life couldn’t be better…”