The Good Life

I froze.

I widened my eyes at Joe and his eyes darted from mine to his dad’s over my shoulder. Mine then scanned the table, everyone’s eyes were locked on the three of us. I swallowed nervously and looked down at my plate.

“Dad, can we talk about this later?” Joe spoke very softly.

I couldn’t eat anymore, I was sick to my stomach. Mr. Paul kept glancing over at us and I felt like he was silently accusing me, like he knew what happened. I kept my eyes locked on my plate and Joe laid his hand on my knee under the table, I crossed my legs, knocking his hand off. I saw him turn his head towards me but I refused to meet his gaze.

I couldn’t. I felt terrible, this was a huge mistake, I should have never come. I wanted to cry, break into hysterics right there but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t move or talk. I was literally mortified.

Everyone got up to leave and I sat there, Joe laid his hands on my shoulders and gave them a squeeze, “Kayden, baby, we’re leaving.” I tilted my head back and looked up at him. I guess the worry was apparent in my eyes, “He crouched down beside my chair and laid his hands on top of mine, “Kayden, I’m just going to tell them, what are they going to do? Ground me? I love you and I’ve told them all my life, when I know it’s the right time and the right person, it’ll happen, and it did.” I nodded, “They’re going to hate me.” I said looking down at our hands. He lowered his head to look into my eyes, “Hey, no they won’t, they already love you, it’s impossible to not love you.” I let a small smile appear on my face. “It’s going to be okay, Kayden, I promise.”

We got up and met everyone outside, “Kevin, why don’t you four go ahead to the venue, your mother and I need to talk with these two.” Kevin nodded and they walked off. We walked towards the buses and climbed on, Joe and I sat on the couch on one side and Mr. Paul and Mrs. Denise sat across from us. We sat in silence for a few moments until Mr. Paul spoke up;

“So, Joe, where is your ring?” Joe turned to me and nodded, I grasped the chain around my neck and pulled the ring out of my shirt and held it up. I heard Mrs. Denise sharply inhale and I bit my lip.

“So,” Mr. Paul spoke after a couple of awkward seconds, “I guess you two have, um, been together?” I could see Joe shaking his head, “Yeah dad.” I cringed, this is terrible. “When?” he asked. “Dad! No. That’s our business, I don’t feel like I need to discuss that with you.” Joe said raising his voice slightly and tensing up in his seat. “Joe. I am your father and you two said that you respected us.”

I gulped and looked up at Denise, she met my eyes and her face softened to a sorrowful expression and she slightly nodded her head at me, I felt a little better, like she was letting me know it was okay, in a sense. The corners of my mouth turned up and I nodded back at her. Our little moment was broken my Joe’s voice,

“We do respect you dad! I told you though, when I knew it was the one, I would decide, I’m twenty years old, you can’t treat me like I’m a kid anymore.”

“The one? You mean the one you are going to be with forever or the one that decided to stick with you for more than a couple of months.” He spat back at Joe.

My head snapped back up to look at Joe, a hurt look hung on his face, now I was pissed, he just offended not only Joe, but me also, “What about that time at your house when we had ‘the talk’ you said you would respect us and our decisions, as long as we respected you, well, we have shown nothing but love and respect for you, and here you are attacking us for a decision we made.” I was in tears by the end of my little rant and Joe pulled me to him and I cried into his chest. I didn’t want to cry in front of them, show weakness but I couldn’t help it I felt betrayed by him, like he was against us.

I looked over to see Mrs. Denise talking quietly with her husband, she had a hold on his arm and a hard look on her face.

Finally, Mr. Paul cleared his throat and Joe kissed my forehead as we turned our attention to him, “Joe, Kayden.” He said looking between us, “I’m sorry for the way I acted, I shouldn’t have said those things to you two, I overreacted and there’s no excuse, I respect the decisions you two make because I love you both and I know the love you have together is real and genuine. I’m truly sorry”

I looked up and Joe and he stood, as did his dad, “Thanks dad, I’m sorry for the way I talked to you.” They shared a hug and Denise and I stood as well, I gave her a hug, “Thank you,” I whispered into her ear, “and I’m sorry.” She pulled back, “Don’t be, sweetie, it’s okay.” Mr. Paul turned to me, “Kayden, I’m so sorry, I overreacted, I know you and Joe love each other, I was just to caught up in how I thought he should live his life to consider his feelings.” I nodded and hugged him, “It’s okay, it’s a parent thing.” I told him, he lightly chuckled. “I see you haven’t unpacked he said gesturing towards my bags lying on the floor. I shrugged, “Nah, got kind of side tracked.” He and Denise walked towards the door, “Why don’t you two stay here and unpack and meet us at the venue later.” I nodded and looked over at Joe, “What about the noon soundcheck?” He asked. Mr. Paul waved his hand at us, “We can do it later, you need to get settled in.”

They left the bus and Joe and I grabbed my bags and headed to the hall. I dropped my bags and leaned my head back against the wall, “That was terrible.” I found myself crying again, even though we had resolved it, it was still and extremely awkward, embarrassing situation. Joe dropped my bag and quickly made his way to me wrapping his arms around my waist, pushing my head on his shoulder, letting me cry, “Shh…” he cooed into my ear, “Kay, it’s alright, it’s all okay now.” He lifted my chin and lightly kissed my lips a few times, “I love you.” I fingered the ends of his hair, “I love you too.”

We finished unpacking all of my stuff and both changed and headed into the venue.

We walked and Joe was leading me around, showing me where everything was when a girl with long blonde hair came and jumped on his back, “Joeyyy.” She cried out, he rested his hands on her arms that clung around his neck. I stared at the two with my eyebrows raised and arms crossed. She finally detached herself from him, and looked up at him linking their arms together not even attempting to acknowledge me. His eyes darted from her to me and she finally looked over and her overjoyed face turned into a small scowl that she quickly covered. “Torrence, this is my Kayden.” He shook her arm from his and slipped his arm around my waist. “Kayden, this is Torrence, she’s a part of the opening act. I smiled and extended my hand to her, “Nice to meet you.” She lightly grabbed it, “Yeah.”

Okay great. She doesn’t like me, because she wants my boyfriend, whatever, I’m over this bitch already. I made it my goal for the day to piss her off as much as possible, two can play the bitch game. I grabbed Joe’s arm and stood on my tippy toes, pressing my cheek to his and whispered into his ear, “Where do you go when you want to be alone.” I rocked back on my heels and he grinned at me and pulled my hand, pushing his way past Torrence without a second look. As I was drug past her I shrugged, “Nice meeting you.” I said as I waved at her then giggled after Joe, the look on her face made my entire day…I win.

Joe drug me around the arena to a room on the opposite side, away from everyone. He pulled me in and shut the door and pushed me against it and his lips connected with my neck. I leaned my head back and a low moan pushed its way from my throat. I pushed my hands into his hair, he kissed up to the top of my chin and I pushed my head down and pressed my lips against his and turned him so he was against the door and pushed myself against him. He let out a low grunt into my mouth and wrapped his arms around my waist, he softly bit my bottom lip and pulled it, slipping his tongue into my mouth, I followed his suit and things started getting a little hot. I reluctantly pulled away from him and his wondering hands, “Joe.” He continued kissing down my neck, “Joe.” He ran his hands under my shirt, “Joe. Joe. Joooe.” I giggled. He pulled back. “What? Whaaat?” He whined. I ran my fingers through his hair, “You have to do a soundcheck, it’s been thirty minutes, time to go.” He groaned and we separated, “Fine.” We straightened ourselves out and walked out the door.

Joe did soundcheck and we all hung around until it was time for the concert. I stood on the side of the stage with Mrs. Denise. I smiled to myself watching Joe jump around, I had never seen him perform, it was weird the six months we had dated I’d never seen him on stage, my eyes never left him that is until I noticed Mrs. Denise looking at me. I turned and saw her line of vision was latched to the chain around my neck, I grabbed it and let it fall between my fingers. “Were you two safe?” She asked quietly. I remained calm on the outside but I was screaming on the inside, we weren’t safe. It wasn’t planned, it just happened, we didn’t have time to prepare for it. I met her eyes and gave her a small reassuring smile and nodded my head ‘yes’ she smiled back and rubbed her hand on my back giving me a small side hug. “I better go see what Frankie’s up to.” I nodded as she walked away.

My eyes filled with worry and drifted to the floor, and only one question filled my head, ‘What if?’ I looked up and saw Joe running around, his eyes met mine for the millionth time that night but this time his smile faded and he gave me a questioning look, I nodded towards the audience and shook my head a little. He pointed at me and winked before continuing the song.

After the show was over and the arena cleared out Joe came and found me, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, “Come on.” He started walking forward to the exit, “Where are we going?” I asked him. “To talk.” He answered and appeared beside me grabbing my hand as we walked out to the cool night.

Joe led me down a small road to a small wooded, grassy area behind the arena. He sat down and pulled me down into his lap in between his legs, my back rested against his chest and my head laid back on his shoulder.

We laid there for a while and before he spoke up, “What’s wrong?” His cheek rubbed against mine when he spoke, and I knew what he was talking about but I played dumb. “What do you mean?” He let out a sigh, “During the concert, you were all happy, then I looked at you and something wasn’t right.” I closed my eyes and took a few breaths before I answered him, I was scared of what his reaction would be. “Well, during the concert your mom asked me if we were careful, when we were together, and I didn’t want her to worry so I told her we were, but we weren’t Joe, and I just can’t stop thinking about what if.” I finally spoke the words that had been haunting me the whole night, “What if I’m pregnant Joe?” By this time the tears were falling down my face and I heard his breath catch and I let out a sob. He turned me around to him, “Kay, why are you crying?” I looked up at him, “Because I’m scared Joe.” He pulled me to him, “Don’t be, it’ll all be okay, if you are, that’s just something we’re going to have to deal with, but as long as we’re together it’s going to be okay.” His words were comforting and I knew he’d stay by my side but the worry in his eyes was evident.

Joe kissed the side of my head a little while later, “Let’s go.” We walked for a little ways , hand in hand before he jumped in front of me, “Jump on.” I jumped on his back and we got back to the bus and stomped up the stairs laughing uncontrollably only to get into the living room area to see Torrence, and the two other girls in her band sitting on the couches with Nick and Kevin. I jumped off Joe’s back, “I’m going to take a shower.”

I got out the shower and blow dried my hair into waves and changed into Victoria’s Secret PINK capris and a black wife beater. I walked back to the living room to see Joe sitting on the kitchen table with Torrence leaned over him, whispering something into his ear. She saw me, he didn’t, I turned and went back to the bunks and climbed into the bed and once again, cried. I’m so stupid, I thought, why did I come here? Nothing good has come out of me being here, just drama. I laid there for a while just thinking, and I heard someone come in I slowly lifted my head to see the back of Joe, stripping his clothes off and pulling on a pair of basketball shorts, he turned and a laid my head down and shut my eyes, I wasn’t happy with him. I heard him climbing up the ladder and crawl in next to me and wrap his arms around my waist, I turned and face the wall and scooted away from him. He inched forward and grabbed me, pulling me to him and sponging kisses on my neck, “I love you Kay.” He lightly whispered before setting his chin on my shoulder.

I started thinking, I knew Joe loved me and only me, and I felt like shit, I didn’t even know why they were talking to each other and I completely judged him, they’re obviously still up there and he’s back here with me, I had no reason to be mad. I turned back to face him, “Joe?” His eyes opened, “Hey, I thought you were asleep.” I shook my head, “I wasn’t” He let his fingertips graze my arm, “Joe, I saw you and Torrence in the kitchen, and I was mad, but then I realized I didn’t know the story, and I don’t want to go to sleep not knowing and being mad.”

He didn’t say anything so I started talking again, “I mean I know she wants you, I can tell.” Then he started laughing, then I felt stupid and turned over, if he wasn’t going to take me seriously then I don’t want to deal with his bullshit. “Whatever Joe.” He climbed on top of me, “Joe, quit.” I tried to push him off and he grabbed my hands and pinned them over my head, “Will you listen to me?” I quit struggling and looked at him annoyed. “Torrence doesn’t like me,” I scoffed and looked at him like he was an idiot, “Well it sure looks li—” He held my hands with one and and cupped the other over my mouth, “She likes Kevin, I’m trying to help her out, she was asking me if she should make her move tonight, you were looking too much into it.”

He let go of me and sat back on his heels and crossed his arms, I covered my face with my hands, and muffled out, “I’m an idiot.” He uncovered my face and leaned down so our foreheads were touching, “No, you’re gorgeous.” I smiled and pecked his lips, “And your birthday is soon.” He kissed me again, “Three days.” I nodded and pulled him to me again. “What do you want for your birthday?” He sat up a little and tapped his finger to his chin and then his face lit up and he bent down to my ear, “You.” He growled into my ear. I giggled and wrapped my legs around him, “Hmm, I think that can be arranged.” He connected his lips with mine and my hands ran through his hair, we stayed that way until we heard footsteps coming down the hall, Joe rolled over and laid next to me and pulled me to him and shut his eyes, I looked over at him and he looked so serious that I started laughing he opened one eye and looked ay me, “Kayden, shh.” That only made me laugh harder, then he started to laugh and the door opened and we both stopped and shut our eyes. We were doing okay ‘sleeping’ when Joe decided it was a good time to let his gas out. Kevin and Nick stopped talking, and I let a huge bust of laughter out, “Joe!” I hit him with my pillow, “Sorry, they fed me nachos.” By this time Kevin and Nick joined in the laughter even thought they had no idea what was going on. Wow, this was going to be a crazy month.