Frankly, I Don't Love You.

“Mikey, where is he?” I said into the phone receiver

“That’s just it A.J, we don’t know where he is! What happened between you two last night? It’s not like Frank to run off somewhere without telling us first.” Mikey exclaimed

I sighed, “I dunno Mikes, we had a huge fight. He said ‘I love you’ and I freaked out and it just went on from there. Now he probably thinks that I never want to see him again”

“Ugh, A.J. why didn’t you tell him you love him back?! You know you do so don’t start saying you don’t. The poor boy poured his heart out to you and you didn’t say anything? It’s no wonder he ran away” Mikey trailed off

“Well, I wouldn’t really count it as not saying anything. He kept telling me to tell him that I don’t love him and it got so bad that I just snapped. Saying those words to him was just so hard and oh my gosh Mikey, I feel so horrible. I can’t believe I’ve actually lost him.” I said blinking back tears

“Don’t worry sweetie we’ll find him. Here I’ll pass the phone to Gerard, he wants to talk to you” he said encouragingly

“Hello?” I heard Gerard’s voice through the receiver

“Gerard! Oh God I’m such an idiot. My chance was right there and I could’ve told him how I felt but the words wouldn’t come out. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“A.J, honey, nothing is wrong with you. You’ve had a bad passed which has made it hard for you to open up to people despite what you feel. I know you really care about Frank and he really cares about you. Don’t worry, we’ll find him; he can’t go that far on half a tank of gas. Come over and we can see what we can do to find him okay?”

Suddenly, old memories of Gerard and I being together came flooding back and I felt so comforted by his words. How could I have let someone like him go? Sure, it was for the best, but could it really have been something more than what it was? I had always dreamed of Gerard being the guy I would marry and spend the rest of my life with, but now what? Frank was not the opposite of Gerard, but a nice reflection of the qualities that I loved in Gerard. I still missed Gerard greatly or the idea of having someone as great as that. Now that Frank was gone, I realized how great of an impact he had had on me over the last couple of weeks. I had never smiled so much in my life or giggled as much either. Could Frank really do that to me?

While I rode my bike to the Way household, my mind played a movie that was constant slideshow of all the times I had had with Frank. From the time when he wouldn’t let me see what his secret poem was to the time when he was all giddy to turn in our poetry project. I recalled when we stayed up late just to stargaze on the hood of his car. I couldn’t help but gush at the friendly yet slightly romantic memory. Why hadn’t I seen that he felt the same way before?

Too soon after my own movie had to end seeing as I had arrived at my destination. I knocked lightly on the door and seconds later, I saw Gerard open the door and invite me in. I walked from the front door into the living room I knew so well and sat down on the couch. Moments later, Gerard walked in holding something small.

“Now I know you’re sad and all, but I think I know just the thing that could life you up and give both of us some closure that way you can go out and get your guy” he said

In his hands was a small box and when he opened it, I couldn’t help but gasp. It was the most beautiful necklace I could ever imagine. Small gold hearts all over the chain and with my initials engraved in each one.

“Each of those hearts will just serve as a reminder of how much I still love you, even though we’re not together. You’ll always have that special place in my heart, so don’t worry.”

“Oh, wow. Thanks so much Gerard!” I said giving him a tight hug

“Okay, now that that’s done with, we have to go find your Frankie boy. Usually, he would go to the beach but that’s too far for the amount of gas he always has in his car.”

“What about the park with the pond on the other side of town? We always used to go there when we were kids.” I suggested

“That’s it! I remember him telling me that he used to go to some park all the time where he liked to feed the ducks” Gerard said

“Well hurry up and grab your keys and let’s go!” I said as I ran towards the door