Ever So Slightly

-Beep-

-Beep-

-Beep-

What the fuck is that?

-Beep-

-Beep-

‘Make it stop…’ I try to mumble, though it comes out as more of a weak, ‘Merrgggittsupp‘.

I wrench my eyes open and all I can see is white.

I’m dead…why am I dead?

I hear a sharp, ‘Huh?’ from beside me and try to roll over.

My body feels like a tonne of bricks, - it’s so heavy I can’t even twitch a finger. What the fuck have I ever done to anyone to end up fat in Heaven?

Or Hell. Although I hear that the decors a bit rawer down there.

What am I even talking about? Hell doesn’t exist.

I manage to twist my head around slightly, to see a dark blur leaning over me.

I blink, and concentrate, trying to pull the world back into focus.

‘Hannah?’

I still can’t see it. Why? Aren’t people supposed to be happy in heaven? And I’d be pretty happy being able to use my eyes right now.

Very slowly, the dark blur becomes a face, and hey, it’s attached to a neck and a body too.

Who’d have thought?

The person looming over me opens her dark brown eyes wide. She’s very pretty, sort of - well, very Asian looking. And I’m leaning more towards India or Pakistan at the moment. Her long, black hair is just touching the starch white bed sheets that have been stretched over me, and her mouth is agape as she stares.

‘Where am I?’ I manage to mumble.

‘Oh Hannah! Oh my god! Uh…your parents only just left but I’ll give them a call and - oh my god I can’t believe you’re finally awake!’ Her eyes well up.

What? My stomach drops. ‘My parents are dead too?’

She snaps her head up away from the keypad of her phone, confused.

‘Huh? No! They’re not dead…and neither are you. Luckily. Oh my god, I was so worried I’d never talk to you again!’ She leans over to hug me tightly, and I just lie here, stiff as a board, not even trying to reciprocate. Who is she? She throws me a grin and holds her phone up to her ear.

‘Hi, um - this is Sana. No, yeah everything’s fine - yep. Uh…Hannah’s woken up. No I’m sure. Yes definitely. Like, talking. I know - yeah, see you soon.’ She turns back to me again.

‘I’ve been in here every Thursday for definite,’ she says happily, like it’s something to be proud of. ‘And I usually drop bye on Sundays too. Ellie came down about once a week with me at first…but then she had to move for uni-’ Her face turns apologetic. ‘She was really sad she couldn’t say goodbye to you properly.’

She rustles around in her bag and extends an envelope to me.

‘She wrote you this. Anyway…your parents are on their way. Did you hear me talking to you?’

Of course I fucking heard her talking to me - what, does she think I’ve been ignoring her the last ten minutes? I twist my face in confusion.

‘Well I do have ears.’ I snap. ‘Who even are you anyway?’

Her eyes widen in apprehension. ‘It’s me, Sana. We were in the crash together...’

My face is blank. What crash? She looks close to tears.

‘We’ve been best friends since high school, Hannah!’

High school? Surely I‘m too old to be in high school.

‘Did you not hear me when I was talking?’

‘Yes! I’m not dead, my parents aren’t dead. Blah blah.-’

‘Not just now! I mean, for the past like, four months.’

‘What are you talking about?’

I’m starting to get very frustrated. And why the hell is she crying?

‘I visited you all the time - I sat and talked to you, I left music here for them to play to you. They said you might be able to hear me so I came as often as I could.’

‘Why? Who are you - what time is it?’

‘About one o’clock,’ she murmurs, shaking her head slightly, eyes wide.

‘What day?’

‘Sunday. 18th Of January.’

‘Fuck,’ I exclaim, finally finding the muscles to sit upright. ‘I’m supposed to do the ironing on Sundays! I have to get home-’

‘Hannah, you’ve just woken up from a coma, no one expects you to be doing ironing.’

‘But- What? I haven’t been in a coma.’

‘You have. For almost four months now. Can’t you remember?’

‘What am I supposed to remember? The fact I’ve been asleep for half a year?’

‘Can’t you even remember the crash?’

‘What fucking crash?!’ I spit, leaning over my bedside angrily. ‘What are you talking about?! Who are you?! Get the fuck out of my room. GET OUT!’

She stands up quickly, tears dripping onto the floor like raindrops, and hurries out of my room, slamming the door behind her.