You Trained These Lips When They Were Champs

I'm still thinking over the whole Alec-thing. I don't know what I want. Even though, of course, he's gorgeous. And the frontman of an epic awesome band.

And I think he likes me.

I think.

I decide to consult my Magic Eight Ball. No, I didn't throw mine away when the craze was over. I make most of my decisions with it.

"Ok, I'm pretty sure he still wants May-ann. Am I right?"

OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD

"Is there anything I can do?"

YES

"Should I like, take him out or something?"

MY REPLY IS NO

"Find out from Tom what he likes?"

DON'T COUNT ON IT

Ok. I'm gonna go out on a limb, and probably feel skanky for it. "Should I make a move on him?"

MY SOURCES SAY NO

"Is it hopeless, and I should give up?"

AS I SEE IT YES

"Does he even like me?"

OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD

Well, what's that supposed to mean?! I want him to like me, because then he won't be chasing some other guy's girlfriend, but I'm still not sure that I like him.

Ok, that was stupid. If I don't like him, why am I obsessing over it?

But by the same token, I'm still in love with Jamison.

So I don't want Alec to like me. I'm trying to get over one thing before I can get into another.

*Flashback- four years previously*

"So, you and Jamison, huh?" Tom asks me.

"Um, yeah. Where've you been for the pasthalf-year?"

"Um, on tour?" Okay, where haveI been.

"So, yeah. Me and Jamison. Again."

"Again... Oh yeah, you used to date in high school. So how'd it happen?"

"Then, or now?"

"Ahm.. yup." I roll my eyes. Smartass.

"I don't really want to worry about 'then,' but 'now' isa different story. He said, 'I don't know why I messed up the whole "us" thing, but I want to fix it.' And he said it like it washis fault we broke up. When it was really me, who did something stupid. So he asked me to dinner that night, at this little hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant. It didn't look like much, but the food smelled and tasted amazing. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. Again."

*End flashback*

And we just broke up. After three years, seven months, and eighteen days.

That was three months ago. And eleven days.

Where has Tom been all this time? Because there is no way that he would ask me to do this if he had actually paid attention to this stuff.

Oh wait... On tour.