It's Not a Fashion Statement...It's a ***ing Death Wish!

"Bobbi! Come on! Sam and Dan're here."

"I'll be there in a minute, Teej. Let me finish this chapter. Heh. Sam and Dan. That ryhmed."

She looked at me like I was off my rocker. "You think of the weirdest things, you weirdo. What're you reading this time, anyway," my younger sister asked, walking over to me.

"The Secret Garden." "Oh meh Gah! Bobbi! You've read that book at least twelve times!"

"So," I asked, turning a page.

"So! No you did not just 'so' me!"

"Yes I did." I glanced at her over my book. Hazi stood, hands on her hips, left foot tapping. With each movement of her foot, the chains on her black Tripp pants jingled. I laughed at my annoyed sis, wearing a black System of a Down shirt that looked as if it had belonged to her boyfriend, Dan. Dan was almost six feet tall, and on Hazel, the shirt nearly reached her knees. Her feet were once more wrapped in her old-as-the-hills and beaten up converse. She wore them every other day. She gave me an exasperated sigh and shook her red and black fringe out of her eyes. When she was about 14, Hazel had dyed her hair black and had been doing so ever since. She had also put red high and low lights in her hair.

"Come on!"

"Fine. Fine," I said, swinging my legs off the arm of the chair I had been sitting in. "God! You suck! I was just getting to the part where Mary first found the door!"

"So? Like you don't know that book by heart already?"

I growled at her and she responded with a fierce growl emitting from her throat. She coughed and I laughed.

"Ha ha. I growl better than you," I said, wrinkling my nose up like Gerard Way would've.

"Yeah, so? No way you're cuter than me though," she said, wrinkling her nose in the same fashion. I laughed as Dan opened the garage door.

"Hey! We all set to practice?"

"Hells yes...as soon as I get our guitarist out of her chair!"

"Hey! I was already out of my chair, so ha," I said, running past Teej and batting at her hair.

"Auh," she said, running after me, sounding like a bell chime.

I responded with an equally loud and ringing "Auh," and soon we were both saying "Auh," to each other, which made Sam, the keyboardist, look at us like we were insane.

"God! You two are so weird!"

"Thank you, leprachaun," Hazel said, walking up to the mic. I plugged in my pride and joy, Fender guitar, black, with stickers all over it, including one I'd made for our band, Apostles of Night, into my amp and slid the strap over my shoulder.

"Hey! Where's our drummer," Hazi asked in a babified voice.

"Oh. She called about an hour ago, saying she had a date. Sammy is gonna play drums on the keyboard." I had forgotten to tell her. Oops

"Oh. Okay. Why didn't you tell me," she asked faking a cry.

"Because the book was fuckin taunting me. It said, 'Bobbi, you know you wanna read me, Bobbi, come on, pick me up,' " I joked, walking around with my hands splayed by my face. I tried to walk further, but realized my guitar was still plugged in and I reached down to unplug it before taking another step.

"Oh, otay. Pretty Colors," she said in her baby voice. Dan giggled (what kinda guy giggles?) "What," she demanded.

"You're just so fuckin cute." He giggled again stepping forward and kissing her.

"Oh my God! Guys! Get a room please," I joked, hiding my eyes.

"Otay. Fine then," she said, shoving me. She kissed him again and I heard her say loud enough so I could hear her, "Okay Dan. Meet me later."

"Ewwww," I squealed, running from them. "Ah! Mind pictures! Ah! No!"

"Joking, you fatty."

I saw Dan look at his shoes sadly.

"No snuggles?"

"Aww. Sorry Dan and little Dan," Hazi said, patting his thigh as she turned to see me, sitting in the middle of the floor, or trying to with my guitar in my hands, crossed legged and arms crossed.

"I is not a fatty no more. Now I is skinny."

"Guys. Are we gonna practice?" I got up and ran over to Sam and stood behind her, arms crossed.

"Sammy, Hazi called me fat," I whispered in her ear, trying my best to sound like I was in serious mental pain. I giggled because even though we were in the same band, me and Sam barely knew each other.

But Sam turned and hugged me good-naturedly and said, "Hazi! Apologize to your poor sister."

Hazi stood in the middle of the floor and bent her head.

"I is very sorryful," she said in her baby voice, making Dan giggle again. She turned and hit him on the arm, saying, "I is trying to apologize," in her baby voice, making it sound loud and harsh. Now it was Dan's turn to bend his head.

"Sorry," came the mumble out of the bangs that hung over his downcast face.

She hugged him and said in her high baby voice, "It is otay, my cute little geek. It is just I is trying to say sorry to my sissy for calling her a fatty."

"Apology accepted," I replied from Sam's arms.

"Yay! Now can we practice? We don't wanna be practicing at six at night. Remember? Last time the neighbors called the cops on us." I brightened.

"Oh. Those guys moved. The house next to us is empty-ed now," I said to Sam.

"Oh. Cool. I guess." Suddenly, the phone rang.

"I got it," I screeched, running to get the kitchen phone. "Hewwo?"

"Hey. Bobbi. It's mom."

"Howdy-ho, Mommy-o."

"Hey. I just wanted to remind you and Annie of the Fourth of July party here next week."

"Mama, you know you're just gonna call me in a week."

"I know, but I want you two to be ready. No skipping out this time. Your sisters want to see you."

I heard Trish yell in the background, "Love you two, you twisted emo sickos!"

"We love you too, you snobby prep," I screamed into the phone. I heard mom groan. "Sorry mama. Tell Cassiandra and Daddy we love them too. I have to go. We have to practice. Loves!"

"I love you."

"Later."

"Later." I hung up and walked out into the garage. Hazi was looking down at Dan

"Heh. Dan. While you're down there...ha. Just kidding. Who was that," Hazi asked, looking back up to meet my eyes, she was sitting on the floor, Dan's head in her lap.

"Mom. She wanted to remind us about the Fourth of July party at their house next week."

"Oh."

"Are we ready to practice now," an annoyed Sam asked from her keyboard.

"Yes, Sammy."

"Finally!"

"What song are we gonna practice," Hazi asked, standing and brushing off her pants. Dan stood and walked over and picked up his bass.

"I don't know. Let's do...our cover of "I'm Not Okay.""

"Why?"

"It's our good luck charm. Whenever we play I'm Not Okay before we practice, we always sound awesome, and I wanna tape this session and give it to Mom and Dad."

"Whatever, Hazi said, taking her place in front of the mic. I plugged my guitar back in and started the opening chords to I'm Not Okay by MCR, Hazi and I's fave band. I laughed as I watched Hazi sing. She looked so much like a girl version of Gerard. People told her all the time. I had to admit, though, that she sounded almost as good. We finished up that song and proceeded to one Hazi had written. She always writes the craziest songs. Finally, we were finished our practice meeting and I waved goodbye to Sammy as she pulled out of the drive.

Dan and Hazi were in the house, doing God-knows-what. I walked in from locking the garage and carried my guitar and amp up the steps. Hazi and Dan were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching a movie. I carried my things to my room and placed my guitar on its stand and the amp beside it. I stood and looked around my room at the MCR posters that covered the walls, along with Evanescence, Britt Black, The Used, Good Charlotte, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, Simple Plan, Panic! At The Disco, and many others.

I kicked off my fish heads and kicked them under my bed before surveying myself in the mirror. I wore a black shirt that said, “You know what your problem is? You’re stupid.”, a pair of black jeans, and black toe-socks. My dyed black hair with blood red and silver tips and highlights and lowlights of the same colors was in a bun, as always. My eyeliner was a little smudged, but I fixed it and twisted my cartilage ring out of habit as I searched for my towel.

I found it, shoved in my chair, and took it and my toiletries bag to the bathroom Teej and I shared. You could tell it too. There were things written all over the walls and black clothes laying all over the floor. I pulled out my hair and turned on the water, taking off my rings and bracelets. I climbed into the shower and washed my hair and body, shaved my legs, and got out. I immediately took the straightener to my hair, straightening the long curls.

I remembered so many years ago when I had been such a chubby somebody. I had thinned down and my figure had finally settled. I finished straitening my hair and put on my red and black plaid night pants and black Misfits tank top that had been a regular shirt but I had cut it with black toe-socks and my Gir slippers. I snuck down the hall and out the door, carrying my cigarettes with me. If Hazi caught me smoking again, she’d kill me. I lit the cigarette and inhaled the sweet smoke. I walked around to the back of the house and down to the park, sitting on a bench by the pond. The park was maybe four houses down from ours, so I smoked my cig and flicked it into the pond. I lit another, knowing I wouldn’t be able to sneak one tomorrow.

I took a drag and observed my painted black nails. I took the last drag and flicked the cig into the pond again before standing, blowing out smoke as I did. I sprayed myself down with the smokers spray I had gotten from the mall our last trip and walked back to the house. I decided to light another and took a drag. Chain smoker. That’s me. I walked past the empty house by ours and noticed something. The “For Sale” sign had been replaced with a “Sold” sign. I giggled to myself as I took another drag. Whoever lives there is going to have to deal with our band. I suddenly saw a young man come around the house. I couldn’t see his face, for it was covered by a huge pair of sunglasses and a hood. Plus the darkening sky. It was 8, and the sky was turning darker by the second. I took one last drag before flicking the cigarette out into the road.

The guy didn’t see me at first. He was talking to the realtor, who was nodding. Suddenly, I felt his gaze. I turned from the road and looked back at him, making sure my hair covered most of my face. I couldn’t tell his whole outfit, but I knew he was dressed in all black. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat and nodded in my direction. I scoffed and walked away, spraying myself with more smokers spray. I walked up the walk and peeked in the window. Hazi was walking towards the door.

“Shit,” I mumbled and I ran around the house and opened the garage before she could open the door. I closed the door quietly and hid my cigarettes, matches and spray under some of my old books. I snuck up the stairs and into the kitchen, popping a piece of mint gum into my mouth. I situated myself at the table and pretended to be reading the paper. “What’s happening in Jersey today?” My sister and I had saved and moved to Newark New Jersey, MCR’s birthplace. We decided that maybe we could get some of MCR’s luck.

Sam and Dan had moved with us, but Sam now lived in another state. Dan lived in an apartment building down the road a few miles.

“Hey,” I heard. I looked up. Hazi was sitting at the table.

“I said, do you wanna order some pizza?”

“Yeah. Sure. Just order something to drink with it. Your boyfriend is downing the last of our Mountain Dew.” Hazi looked at Dan.

“Dan,” she screeched, jumping up and grabbing the bottle from him. “One, cup! Two, mine! You can have some, just cup next time. Otay?” Dan nodded, looking like a child who had just gotten in trouble for playing in the mud.

“Someone’s moving in next door,” I said, not looking up from the paper.

“How do you know?”

“I saw them from my bedroom window. The for sale sign has been changed to a sold sign and I saw the realtor talking with a guy and showing him into the house.”

“How do you know he bought it?”

"Because he carried a box into the house marked ‘My stuff’," I lied, trying to win the argument.

“Whatever.”

“I’m cereal. Look.” Hazi walked over to the window and peeked out. I suddenly saw something that made me jump and scream.

“What,” Hazi asked, whipping around and looking at me. I pointed to the newspaper. There was a spider on it. Hazi screamed and ran. I stopped screaming and picked it up, taking a bite. “Ewwww! Bobbi, you are so gross!” I laughed, tossing her the spider. It was a black gummy spider. “That’s not nice, you know.”

“Yeah. But it’s funny.”

Suddenly, Teej pointed and yelled, “Cockroach!” I screamed and got up on a chair. Spiders didn’t bother me that much, but cockroaches? Ugh. “Ha ha. Just kidding.” I sighed, annoyed.

“That was not funny, Hazel Ann Estelle Ressler!”

“Ohh. Full nameage.”

“That’s right.”

“Well, you were just as mean, taking a bite out of a spider and then throwing it at me, Bobbi Jo Lyn Ressler!” I crossed my arms and stalked to my room.

“I’m not hungry,” I called before shutting the door to my bedroom and flopping on the bed.

I turned on my stereo and cranked it loud, Helena bursting through the speakers. I sat up and reached for my notebook, pausing when I saw something at my window. I crept over and saw someone walking back over to the house next door. There was a note, taped outside my window, facing in so it could be read. I realized the person to be the guy that I had seen with the realtor. He raised his hand and waved in recognition. I did the same. I laughed as I untapped the note and read it. I

t said simply, Hello, new neighbor.

I looked back up, but the guy had gone into the house.

I shut my window and then was horrified when I remembered that my curtain had been open when I had been getting dressed, and you could see directly into my house from the kitchen window next door. I closed the curtain and threw the note onto my night stand, walking over and turning off my light. I switched on my fan and crawled beneath the covers, turning down the music until it was a soft lullaby, sung only to me. The last thing I remembered before I fell completely asleep was thinking how awesome it would be to have Gerard Way or any member of MCR move in next door.