It's Not a Fashion Statement...It's a ***ing Death Wish!

I awoke to the beeping of my alarm clock. I groaned and bashed it into the floor, cursing Hazi. Damnit. It was 5 already. I smiled when I heard Hazi groan and switch off her alarm. That's what you get, beyotch, I thought to myself as I yawned. I heard the front door open. Probably Sammy. Hazi was always forgetting to lock the damn door. Coffee. Coffee. Need Coffee. As if on cue, my door opened and Sam poked her head in.

"Heya Bob. Coffee's done." Before I knew what was happening, Hazi, dressed in a pair of black night pants and a ripped beyond repair black shirt, flew down the hall.

I leaped from my bed and hollered, "First cup!" She groaned.

"Fine then. Hurry."

"Thanks you, sissy. Mad loves, O disturbed one."

"Whatever, you fuckin fruitcake. Get your coffee, please." I did so and added sugar and milk to my liking. I walked in the living room with it and sat on the couch, immediately springing back up and spilling blazing hot coffee all over my chest and tummy.

"DAN," I screeched, flying into the bathroom and cleaning myself up. I walked back into the living room, air drying my shirt and saying, "Ow. Boobs. Burnt. Ow."

"Let me see," Hazi said, moving my hand out of the way and looking at my tummy. She hissed. "Owie. You better get that checked out."

"Me no go anywhere until me gets coffee."

"Sorry. I took the last bit. You can have a drink," she said, offering me her cup.

"No thanks. You drink that amaretto crap in yours. Yuck."

"Well, I made the last of the coffee in the canister," Sam said before looking at my tummy and hissing.

"Ooooohhhhhh," I groaned. Suddenly, I had a thought. "Oh! I know! I can ask the peoples next doors for coffee!"

"I doubt they're gonna be up at five in the morning, Bobs," Hazi said, taking a cautious sip of her coffee. Taunting little beyotch, isn't she? Dan arose from the couch.

"What happened to you," he said, gesturing to my bare tummy.

"You were on the couch and I sat on you and then the coffee dumped all over me. And speaking of being up at five in the morning, why are we?"

"Because I wanna see if we can get a job at the Hot Topic in the mall. It opens at six and I wanna get there before anyone else does. Rent's coming up, y'know."

"Oh. Well, I'm gonna go next door and beg and plead for coffee. I'll even slave if I have to," I said, walking to the bathroom and damping a wash rag, slipping it onto my stomach under my shirt. The coolness felt awsome.

"What kind of slave," Hazi asked from the living room suggestively. I poked my head out of the bathroom and threw a magazine at her, which she dodged, laughing.

"That is disgusting, Hazel Ann! Besides, I'm not a whore, you slut," I said, chuckling and straightening my eyeliner in the mirror. I then went into my room and pulled on my Smashing Pumpkins zip up hoodie and searched my room for my Gir slippers. That whore must've taken my slippers! I grabbed two cigarettes and threw them into my pocket along with a pack of matches from under my bed before standing and saying, "Slut! Give me back my slippers!" I ran into the living room, just to catch them as they flew at my face. "Whore," I muttered, slipping on my slippers.

"Slut," Hazi yelled back to me.

"Muff-diver."

"Yes and she's very good at it," Sam said from the table. I threw a book at her.

"Yeah. Dan said she gives good head too."

"Bitch," Hazi yelled from the living room.

"Yes I am, with one minor detail." Throwing my arms into the air, I screamed, " I am the bitch! Ruler of all bitches!" Hazi laughed at me as I shut the front door behind me, stepping out onto the grass. I lit up immediately, needing a cigarette. I walked slowly across the yard, pretending it pained me to walk. I finally finished my cig and flicked it into the dew ridden grass. I blew smoke out of the side of my mouth and knocked on the door. I knew someone was here. There was a car parked in the parking space. I knocked again.

Then I heard crashing inside and a spoken, "Shit. Fuck," before the door opened. It was a guy, a little taller than me, with his face in shadows.

"Hi. Do you have some coffee I can borrow," I asked, doing my best to be polite. The man ran a hand through his hair(if he had any. I can't see, remember? It's pitch out here!), and stretched and yawned. A groan came from within, and the man turned from me to look.

"Only if you make a pot for my idiot friend first. I'm too lazy to."

"I just want coffee. I don't care how I get it," I said, stepping into the house. "You mind if I smoke," I asked after he pointed to the kitchen down the hall.

"I don't give a fuck," he said, staggering to the bathroom. I shrugged and lit my second cigarette. I made the coffee and then put some into the canister I had brought with me, putting my cigarette out in the ash-tray by the sink.

"Coffee's made," I shouted, walking down the hall and to the front door.

"Thanks," came a call from the living room. I reached for the door knob and the rag fell out from under my shirt.

"Shit," I muttered, bending to pick it up.

"Are you trying to steal our rag," came a question from the doorway. It was the guy.

"Yeah. Cuz I like it so much," I said sarcastically, standing and lifting my shirt to put the rag under it again.

"Ow. What is that," he asked, moving my hands. I was suddenly feeling a little funny about being in a strange house, in the dark, with a strange man's hands on my bare stomach.

"Ummm...Hello?!? My personal bubble space. You just invaded it!" He acted like he didn't hear me.

"You better get that looked at," he said, straightening up. I caught a glimpse of black hair and a lip ring before he was once again immersed in darkness.

"I think you just looked at it enough for two doctors," I said dryly, yanking down my shirt. "I just came over for coffee. Thanks." I reached to open the door, but he was asking me another question.

"Do you live next door?"

"Yeah. Me and my sister. Her boyfriend practically lives there."

"How old are you guys?" "Hazi's 21 and I'm 23."

"So you're the oldest?" I nodded. "Hmm. What's your name?"

"Why?"

"Because I think I might like you. Is that a good enough reason?"

"It might be."

"What is that supposed to mean?" "I shrugged. "What?" Another shrug. "So you're not talking to me now?" I shook my head. "Why?" I grabbed a pen from my hair and wrote on his hand, "Because Mama always said not to talk to strangers."

He laughed and held out his hand. "Frank."

"Bobbi Jo," I said, shaking it. Our handshake turned into a thumb war. I beat him and jumped up and down. "I won," I shouted.

"Hey! Shut up," came a muffled yell from the living room.

"Oops. Sorry," I said, covering my mouth.

"Don't worry about it. Don't be such a dick, Bob," he yelled into the living room.

"Ha."

"What?"

"It's just that. You're name's Frank and you're friends name is Bob. Like from MCR."

"You like MCR?"

"Oh! No. I don't like them. I LOVE THEM!"

Frank chuckled and said, "Yeah. They're okay."

"Well which band is your fave?"

"I don't know. I like those," he said, pointing to my chest area. At first I thought he was talking about my boobs, but he was pointing at my tank top with the album cover from American Psycho.

"Misfits? Yeah. They're really good. I actually heard from them through MCR. I decided to listen to one of their songs and now I love them."

"What song turned you?"

"Dig Up Her Bones."

"Oh. Yeah. Fave album?" I pointed to my top.

"This is the only album I could find."

"Oh. That sucks. You like Smashing Pumpkins too? You rock!"

"Thanks. Yeah. I like them."

"Fave song?"

"Blank Page, Love, and Lily but mostly Blank Page."

"Album?"

"Adore."

"Hmm." I smiled up at him.

"I gotta run."

"Okay, but number first." I sighed and wrote my cell number on his hand.

"That's my cell. Call me there only. My sis will freak if I get involve right now."

"Why?"

"Because my last boyfriend was an asshole and beat me up every day, whether I deserved it or not, for no reason at all. Evidently, she has to approve of my boyfriends before I pick one."

"Protective?"

"Oh yeah. And I'm supposed to be the older one." I laughed. He wrote his number on my arm after I insisted my sis would see it if he wrote it on my hand.

"Thanks for the coffee," I said, walking out of the house and running over to mine. I opened the front door and closed it. Immediately, Hazi was on me.

"Where have you been?"

"You know where."

"What took you so damn long?"

"They locked me in their basement and we had a roman orgy, complete with goats." I laughed at her wierded out expression. "I was talking, Mom."

"To whom?"

"I don't know. A friend of the neighbors, I guess."

"About what?"

"Music mostly."

"Oh. Okay." I walked into the kitchen and made some coffee. I had completely forgotten my burn. I sat at the kitchen table while the coffee brewed and thought about Frank. He was so charming and funny.

"Bobbi," Hazi yelled, snapping me back into my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Hot Topic?"

Oh. Oops. I glanced at the clock.

Five minutes to get ready.

Shit.