I Never Wanted This Lifestyle for Her

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Blake's**POV

One week till Christmas.
Five days till she comes.
No later, no sooner.
Things will get better soon, when she comes.
Maybe I'll stop dreaming about my past.
Maybe I won't feel so lonely when Pete leaves for band practice, leaving me with Hemingway at his house.
Maybe then I wouldn't be scared to face my dad, with her around.
When she's around, she gives me all the confidence a guy can practically get.
She leaves me with my cheeks hurting so much from smiling, and my body with a warm tingling feeling wherever she was touching.
I'm not sure what the emotion for all of it is.
Yet, I don't care.
Whatever that emotion is, I feel it whenever she's around.
Or even when I'm thinking of her.
Maybe I'm crazy, like my dad.
But, I can't be like that, can I?
And the inner arguments continue as I count down the days till I see her.

Gerard's**POV

When JJ started saying we were lying about celebrating Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's house, Frank had it with her and called my parents himself announcing we were arriving there the following morning.
So, here we are, with a silent JJ on my left, and with Frank on my right falling asleep on my shoulder.
I smiled lightly as I noticed she had her arms crossed over her chest in a huff.
She narrowed her eyes at me as she noticed me looking at her grinning.
Her head then laid next to the window, away from me.
I noticed they were both asleep on both sides of me, as the half of the plane we were traveling in was.
Making me feel stupid about drinking coffee before getting on the plane.
Leaving me with nothing to do.
I opted to just draw another image from my brain.
Like how I knew so well.

JJ's**POV

"I can't believe this Gee." I heard Frank say as I tried opening my eyes.
"Me neither." He replied, in the weakest of voices.

I tried so hard to open my eyes, to see what was happening, but it seemed as if someone glued them shut, for a sick practical joke.

"Why did this happen Gee?" I heard Frank's voice say again as I heard him choke back and sob.
"Shh, Hun. I'm not sure why. But, we know that for a fact she's in a better place now, right?" Gerard asked him as I felt a pang of pain in my chest.

Were they talking about me?
No, they couldn't be.
I'm not dead.

"I swear Gee I'm going to kill that son-of-a-bitch with my own hands." Frank's voice sounded so hurt.

His voice alone could kill.

"Like I said before, she's in a better place Frank." I heard Gerard say last, as I heard their voice fading out.

I wanted to scream at them to come back.
Or that I was here, safe and sound, but I myself don't even know that.

The next voice I heard made me want to die even more then they made me out to be.

"I'm sorry." I heard his voice whimper.
"I shouldn't of let you go alone." I heard him say again as I didn't understand.

Alone where?
What happened to me?
Once I was asking these questions to myself, I felt his lips on my cheek.
They were chapped, yet warm on my cold skin.
He mumbled something against my cheek but I couldn't make it out.
Yet again, I was left with a cold empty feeling as he left.
What did I get myself into?
I heard murmurs of voices before I heard something close above me.
Probably the other half of the casket.
But they didn't get it!
I was still alive, here, fine, no pain whatsoever, yet they are still burying me.
Or maybe, I was just left to think and rot away in misery, underground.
I wanted to scream, because I wasn't ready to die.
I wanted to be able to do anything, but lay here motionless with a mind full of thoughts.
I heard the dirt being thrown onto the casket as I was ready to choke on my own tongue.
Things weren't supposed to be this way.
Never were they supposed to turn out this way.

I jolted awake with tears streaming down my face and my breathing ragged.

"Baby, are you okay?" Gerard asked in the darkness of the plane as I felt my arms fling around his waist, unintentionally.
"I'm not dead dad, see, I'm right here." I stated as I noticed what I had said and how crazy I probably sounded.
"It was just a bad dream sweetie." He cooed as he actually understood.
"It felt so real." I sighed as I buried my face into his shoulder.
"But, your okay now. Your alive and well, heading to Grandma and Grandpa's house." He told me as I nodded, to him and to myself.

Why were the nightmares so reoccurring?
Why couldn't I be a normal person like the rest of the world?
Oh, that's right, i'm the daughter of Gerard and Frank Iero-Way.
New Years couldn't come any faster can it?

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