I Never Wanted This Lifestyle for Her

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JJ’s --- POV

Quinn and I sat under that big oak tree sharing lunch and trading between taking each other’s chips.
We talked about the homework we had to do once we got home, then when we could work on our cover album.
Then the subject of the Fall Out Boy concert over the weekend came up.

“Yeah uh…Your Dad invited me…But I didn’t know if you wanted me to go or not.” Quinn said obviously hesitantly before taking another one of my pretzels.
“Well, of course I want you to go. Why wouldn’t I want you to?” I asked, as I took a small bite of my PB&J sandwich.
“I didn’t know if you were going to meet someone there or not…I don’t want to intrude.” Quinn shrugged as he bit into his own sandwich and I thought about this.
“You wouldn’t be intruding. It’ll be fun. Even though I am meeting up with someone there. I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” I said.

I wasn’t so sure if I should tell him about Blake.
I mean, not that I’m ashamed of him or anything, by far, but how would people react about me in a relationship with Pete Wentz’s nephew?
He’d sooner or later find out.

“Okay. Only if you’re sure.” He said with a grin.
“Positive.” I couldn’t help but grin back as the bell rang.

---

After begging Quinn’s mother about letting him go to the Fall Out Boy concert, he ended up staying then night Friday night, after I had gotten back from visiting that damned group therapy, where again I didn’t say much, nor speak to Adam.
Throughout the week we had completed all of the songs, but two, which I had to sing. My Heart by Paramore and All Around Me by Flyleaf.
We sat in my basement in our pajamas listening to the other songs we recorded and put together before I got in the recording room to do my vocals.
Quinn and my prerecorded acoustics flowed through my headphones as the song opened.

“I am finding out that maybe I was wrong. That I’ve fallen down, and I can’t do this alone.” I sang as the song itself just flowed through my head and veins.

I felt like I was living the song as I sang it with as much heart as I had.

“This heart, it beats, beats for only you. This heart, it beats, beats for only you. Oh.” I sang as the both our guitars clashed together.

Even though acoustic, this song was still strong in every which way.
Once he had given me the thumbs up after I finished, I came out of the room to rest before doing our last song.
He next went into the recording room to add the finishing touches to My Heart, where there called for screaming at the end, or joint singing.
After that was said in done, and I was all ready to go for the different sounding All Around Me, I went in and recorded that.
This song for some reason hit home, whether it be about Lacey’s past experiences, or about all around pain, it was a song I felt described an aspect of myself.

“My hands float up above me, and you will swear you love me.” I sang quietly as I closed my eyes and felt such immense anger and relief at the same time.

As I sang the rest of the song, I showed emotion as I moved around a bit, as one would in a music video.
Once I was done I looked up at Quinn and noticed my parents standing behind him, all of them smiling just a bit.
I smiled back as Quinn gave me a final thumbs up to signal we were completely done.
This is what makes my blood flow.

----

“You are not sleeping on the floor, you’re going to sleep up here with me. It really isn’t that big of a deal.” I was telling Quinn as he tried to make a bed down on the floor.
“You’re not going to stop till you get your way huh?” He asked as he picked up the pillow he laid on the floor.
“No, I won’t.” I said with a smile as he sat on the other side of the bed.

I didn’t care if he slept on the other side of me, as long as he wasn’t sleeping in the floor.
There’s a difference between sleeping with someone and sleeping in the same bed with someone.
I didn’t even care how close we got.
But, I was not going to let him sleep on that damn floor.
After he gave in, we laid facing each other, quietly talking in the dark of my room.

“You were really good today. Well, you are every day. But there was something about those two songs that lit a fire in you.” Quinn mentioned as I smiled to myself.
“I don’t know, I felt like I lived each word, like the song was even alive maybe, and it had a life of it’s own, and I understood it quite well. I just had surges of emotion each time…” I told him how I felt as I could feel him staring at me through the darkness.
“I’m pretty sure that’s how you should feel while performing. Even just recording. You have something special.” He told me as I kept smiling with my eyes closed.
“Thanks. That really means a lot to me.” I told him as I audibly yawned right after.
“Go to sleep. We have a long day ahead of us.” Quinn sighed happily as I grinned some more because of this.

I was going to see my boyfriend, hang out with a really good friend, and see one of my favorite bands of all time perform live.

X

The next day we both woke up early (for what reasons we’re not sure) and made breakfast for my parents.
We turned on Fall Out Boy, for various reasons, and sang along to every song while I made waffles and he made scrambled eggs.

“Smells good out here, children.” Gerard said as he came down the stairs and turned the coffee maker on.
“Thanks.” Quinn and I said in unison then smiled at each other.
“I see you two are ready for Fall Out Boy tonight hm?” Frank asked as he came down the stairs not long after.
“Yes!” Quinn and I again said in unison and laughed at each other this time.

After eating breakfast, which was better than usual, we both went and got ready.
Both of us showered and dressed and he watched as I put on a layer of make up.

“I don’t understand why girls put on makeup.” Quinn said as I ran the eyeliner stick under the bottom of my eye.
“Why do you say that?” I asked as I changed to eye shadow and started applying it to my eye lid.
“Most, well more likely all girls don’t need makeup. Especially you…” He trailed off as I visibly blushed.
“I don’t know why I think I need it. I just…Wear it. It’s more like out of habit I guess.” I sighed as I closed my make up bag and set it aside.
“Well, we’ll have to break that habit somehow.” He smiled as I exited the bathroom and he followed behind me closely to the living room where Gerard and Frank were cleaning up the kitchen a bit more before we were on our way to the venue.
“Oh, I see we’re already ready to head out. Fine then.” Frank play rolled his eyes and went to go get changed and Gerard followed behind.

---

Arriving at the venue early just in time to watch sound checks, I walked in with Quinn and instantly looked for Blake.
Quinn followed me as my parents were off talking to someone and I spotted Pete talking with Patrick.

“Hey!” He said happily as he hugged me and stuck his hand out for Quinn.
“Hi Pete, Patrick, this is my friend Quinn.” I introduced them as Quinn also shook Patrick’s hand.
“It’s really an honor to meet both of you.” Quinn said as his eyes nearly popped out of his head.
“Pleasure is all ours.” Pete smiled as he looked at JJ.
“Blake is roaming around back there with uh…Erin.” Pete told her as he made a hand gesture towards backstage.

Erin? Who the hell was Erin.
Was I actually jealous? I mean, I brought Quinn unannounced but I didn’t think he would bring someone too.
Quinn and I made our way backstage and I heard a girl’s giggle as we rounded a corner into a lounge looking area.

“Hey baby.” Blake said with an unsure voice as he saw Quinn by my side and then Erin was next to his.
“Hi.” Was all I said as he finally introduced Erin.
“It’s so nice to meet you.” She said with a smile that I hated already.
“Same. This is Quinn.” I introduced as Blake and him shook hands a bit awkwardly.
“Can I talk to you in private?” Blake asked as I looked at Quinn for a moment and told him I would be right back as he did the same to Erin.
“Who the hell is that?” He asked as we walked a bit away from them.
“I could ask you the same thing.” I spat back as I felt that this would end horribly.
“This is Erin, my friend -”
“And this is Quinn, my friend.” I cut him off.
“You didn’t tell me -”
“Neither did you.” I cut him off again as he rubbed his temple.

I stood there waiting for him to say some other incredulous thing.
I wasn’t even jealous, nor mad anymore, yet he still had this doubt in everything and I could tell.

“You should of at least told me…”
“Fuck you Blake.” I rolled my eyes as I suddenly walked away, past Quinn, and he followed quietly.

I sighed and bit on my lip ring as I walked until we reached near the top of the seats.
Taking an empty seat high up in the balcony area, I perched my feet up on the seat in front of me as Quinn did the same.
After a few moments of sitting in silence, I let the situation sink in and I willed away my pathetic tears, but they came flowing freely.
Crying silently I tried to hide it from Quinn until he slipped his hand into mine.
His thumb caressed the back of my own as I squeezed gently, and he squeezed back.
I looked at Quinn through my bangs, knowing for a fact I must of looked like a mess.
Yet, he gave me a small smile and took his black hoodie sleeve and ran it under my eyes.
I laughed audibly and drew a shaky breath as I tried to get a hold of myself.
Why the hell was I even crying?
As Quinn was about to switch to his other sleeve, I brought my own under my wet eyes and wiped off as much as I could without rubbing off my skin itself.
Breathing deeply, I noticed his hand was still in mine, but didn’t even care for the fact he was there for me when my own boyfriend didn’t even come after me.

“I probably look ridiculous, huh?” I asked in a quiet watery voice.
“Far from it.” He replied with that small smile still playing on his face as I laughed again.

With my free hand, I pushed by bangs out of my face and ran my sleeve under both of my eyes again before sighing loudly.

“Are you comfortable here?” I asked quietly, meaning with my boyfriend here and whatever the hell just happened.
“Yes.” He answered back just as quietly.
“I meant with everything happening.” I clarified.
“I meant in this moment.” He said.

I glanced at him as his smile widened, possibly by the look on my face.
Cracking a smile, I giggled and looked down at the stage where Fall Out Boy was about to do a sound check.

“Can JJ come down to the stage please? JJ!” Pete yelled in the microphone as he looked around till he spotted Quinn and I.

I sighed again as Quinn released my hand and we made our way down to the stage, after stopping in the bathroom so I could take off the rest of my make-up.

“You called?” I asked as I checked around for Blake.
“Patrick wanted to talk to you about something.” Pete quickly before going back to fiddling with his bass.

I looked at Quinn as he just raised both eyebrows at me and we walked across the stage to find Patrick.

“Hey.” Patrick called us over as he sat on the ground criss-cross apple sauce with his guitar in hand.

I took a seat next to him, as Quinn took a seat next to me.

“So, when you sang with me that one time before Christmas, I’m not sure if you know how well received you were from that crowd, and the internet.” He started as adjusted his glasses.
“I don’t know, actually.” I said in all honesty, since I tried to stay away from the internet business at all costs.
“Well let me just say, your really fucking liked.” He smiled as I couldn’t help but smile back.

That was at least a somewhat relief to my whole time here.
Not that the public’s view of me mattered at all, but the fact that they actually liked what I enjoyed doing?
Something like that would bring joy to me every day.

“Well, anyways, I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to sing with me or something on a song of your choice. If you wanted.” He said as my breath hitched.

I couldn’t deny this…But then again I don’t want the spotlight or anything.
Mistakenly, I looked up across the arena and noticed Blake had made Erin laugh at something.
They didn’t notice me, nor Quinn, but I bit my lip ring hard at the sight of them.
He didn’t even care that I ran off, clearly emotional.
Not a single worry in his perfect little world.
I glanced at Quinn, who noticed them as well, but glanced at me with those dark brown eyes.

“Of course I would love to, Patrick. But uh, I have a slight request if I’m able to do that.” I said as I turned around back to him.
“Shoot.”
“Can Quinn play on the song as well? He’s really good at guitar.” I asked as I saw Quinn fidget next to me.
“Of course.” Patrick smiled as he handed Quinn’s his guitar and got another one of his own.

---

“Quinn, I already said you’re welcome. You can stop saying thank you.” I grinned as he was jumping around backstage as we watched the place fill up of Fall Out Boy fans.
“I know but, fuck, JJ, do you even understand how exhilarating this is? My Mom sounded as if she was going to have a heart attack. I can’t even…”
“Quinn. You’re going to pass out from excitement in a minute here.” I warned him as I glanced out at the crowd again.

The place was overflowing, and it seemed as if it would never stop.
I bit my lip, for the millionth time, and closed my eyes for a moment.
Breathe.
As we stood by the curtains, we watched Fall Out Boy rock out, and the crowd jump around and act crazy.
Quinn and I smiled at each other as we stood side stage and watched one of our favorite bands play.
After about 6-7 songs, we watched as Joe walked off stage with a towel and water bottle in hand and winked at us.

“Now, I’m not sure if any of you have heard or seen the concert we played a few days before Christmas, but we had a special guest sing on ‘Yule Shoot Your Eye Out...’” Pete said into the microphone as Quinn started to strap on a guitar Patrick had let him borrow.
“JJ! You didn’t tell me you were going to perform.” I spun around to Blake’s voice as Erin stood next to him.
“Well, we have two guests tonight to accompany us on stage for one of your, and our favorite songs.” He said with a smile on his face as that was our cue to go on stage.
“You didn’t care, and apparently, you never did.” I said over the roaring crowd as I jogged on stage after Quinn.
“JJ Iero-Way and Quinn Mason, everyone.” He announced as they played the opening chords to, ‘Sugar, We’re Going Down’.

I stood on that stage with a smile on my face, for once confident, as I walked up to the microphone, and Quinn took Joe’s usual spot on stage and played along with Pete, Patrick and Andy.

“Am I more than you bargained for yet? I’ve been dying to tell you anything you want to hear, cause that’s just who I am this week.” I sang as Pete’s bass played to the left of me and Andy’s drum behind me.

I sang the next lines as I began to sway with Patrick and Quinn’s guitar.
Taking the microphone off the stand I began to sing the chorus as I heard the crowd sing along.
As the next verse began I looked directly as the crowd on the floor and sang to them as they sang with me.
I smiled as I directed my attention to how big the place really was and sang the chorus as I jumped up and down.

“Get up!” I told them as I saw the majority of the start jumping along with me.

I pointed the microphone towards the crowd as they sang the last, ‘A loaded god complex, cock it and pull.’
Standing by Quinn we both sang the last parts of the song before the place erupted into louder screams before, if that was possible.

“JJ Iero-Way and Quinn Mason, everyone!” Pete yelled as they kept screaming and Quinn and I smiled at each other.

We waved and walked off as Joe gave us high-fives and ran back on stage.
I was smiling so wide and started laughing as Quinn laughed with me.
We both laughed at basically nothing till I noticed Erin and Blake.
Erin noticed me before Blake did, winked at me, and pressed her lips against Blake’s.
My smile instantly turned into a frown as Blake didn’t even break the kiss, but seemed to press himself more into it.
They stopped kissing as Blake finally noticed me and failed to cover up the surprised look on his face.

“Oops.” Erin seemed to smile as Blake started to come towards me.
“Fuck you.” I spat before he even reached me, and took Quinn’s hand as we went further back stage.

I was done forgiving.