He Breaks Hearts Like the West Was Won

Emily

"Baby, wake up. Breakfast is ready."

I gently nudged Sonny. He rolled over to look at me with the biggest smile on his face.

"God, I love waking up to see you're still here with me and that it's not a dream," he said, his eyes glittering.

I smiled and gave him a peck on the lips.

"I'm not going anywhere, Mr. Moore. I'm staying right here with you."

"And I'm so glad, Mrs. Moore. God, I love saying that!" He laughed.

He laced his fingers into mine and headed for the kitchen in our new house. We sat down and began breakfast.

"So, two days before tour, huh? Excited?" I asked, sipping my coffee.

"Well, yes and no. I'm excited to get our new material out to the fans and play shows, but I wish I could take you with me, Em."

I looked down and tried to stay calm. This was going to be hard.

"I know, Son-shine. But we'll be fine. I've got plenty stuff around here that needs to be done, anyway. It'll be okay. I promise."

He slowly nodded. "I know it will. It's just, we've been married for five months and I've already got to go back on tour. It sucks." He pouted.

"Awww, not the Sonny's-sad-so-do-anything-to-fix-it-pouty-face. That's not going to work, and you know it," I laughed.

He stuck his lower lip out a little bit farther.

"Sonny, stop it."

"But Emmieeee... I'm so saaaad... Pwease make it better?"

"Not... working, Sonny."

My wall of strength and defense was crumbling, and he was winning.

"Emmie... Oh Emmmm-mieee... Look at your oh-so-sad husband. He's gonna cry."

He giggled and stood up, pulling me up with him. I laughed and gave him a deep kiss.

"Now that's more like it, Em! What do you say we continue this in the bedroom?"

He picked me up and took off, tossing me onto the bed as he slammed the door shut with his foot. He got on the bed and straddled me, pulling his shirt off, then mine. Just as he was about to make me a very happy wife, our bedroom door flew open and Matt and a crying baby walked in.

"Oh, Sooonnnyyy! Your nie---" Matt trailed off when he realized what was happening.

"OH MAH GAWD! NOT AGAIN!!!" He screamed, and shut the door.

Sonny groaned and rolled off of me.

"Will I EVER get to have my wife for breakfast?" he shouted.

"NO!" Matt answered through the door.

I just laughed and pulled my shirt back on.

"It's okay, Sonny. Some other morning. It's not like you didn't have me for dessert last night. Or the night before, or... Well, nevermind. That's too much to count," I said teasingly.

"Shut up. Let's go see our niece."

We walked out of the room to both Matty and baby Elizabeth crying.

"Matty? What's wrong?" I asked, walking over to him.

"She... She... she won't stop CRYIING!" he wailed.

I picked up baby Lizzie and began singing to her.

"Hush Little Lizzie, don't say a word. I'll sing a song that you haven't heard. Daddy's a dork but he loves you, Mommy's a nerd, she loves you too. Hush little Lizzie, don't say a word, 'cause you're the cutest baby in the world."

By the time I was done, Lizzie was already peacefully sleeping.

"H-How'd you even DO that?" Matt asked, sniffling.

"I'm a girl. She loves her Aunt Emmie. I'm a girl. I sing melodically. I'm a girl. Still want to know how?" I teased.

Matt threw a wadded tissue at me.

"Shhh! Stop it. You'll wake her up!"

I carefully laid her down in the playpen we had for her.

"Where did your wife go?" I asked him, sitting down on Sonny's leg.

"She went shopping with Travis' girlfriend, Brittany. They left me with Lizzie... she said it would be a piece of cake watching her. Chyeah right! As soon as they left, Liz took one look at me and started screaming. I'm a loser. I can't even watch my own daughter." He shook head head and looked down.

"No you're not, Matty. It just takes a while to get used to, that's all."

I looked at Sonny, and he had a goofy grin plastered on his face.

"What's that look for, Sonny Bunny?"

He looked at Matt, then at me.

"When are we gonna have screaming poop-machines of our own?" he asked.

"When you don't refer to them as screaming poop-machines!" I laughed.

He got serious. "No, I mean, really. When can we have a child of our own?"

I looked at him, over at Matt, then back at Sonny.

"Let's talk about this later, okay?" I whispered.

"Why can't we talk about this now?" he pleaded.

"Sonny, don't. I said we'll talk about this later."

With that, I got up and walked into the kitchen and quietly slammed things around. I still wasn't ready to talk about children just yet with him. God only knows that I would love to have a child of my own, and God know I was completely ready for a baby, but Sonny was gone way too much for comfort. Sometimes it was still hard to get a hold of him. I mean, what was I to do if I went into labor while he was on the road? I would NOT give birth to my child without their father right beside me. I refuse. I braced my hands on the sink and bent over it. God... who ever said bands and marriage were easy? Just then, two arms snaked their way around my waist and a head laid down on my back.

"Emily, I'm sorry. I know you want children. I just don't see why you won't have one."

I pushed him off and whirled around, that all-too-familiar fire burning in my eyes.

"You want to have this conversation right now? Fine, let's go ahead and have it then. Not my fault if you get your ass burned in front of your best friend. I have no problem with having a child, Sonny! I want one so badly I can almost feel the baby in my arms as we speak! But you're in a band, Sonny. A band that tours like fucking crazy! All the time, you're on the damned road. And most of that time, I can't get a hold of you! What would fucking happen if I were pregnant, and went into labor here at the house, all by myself? With no access to a phone?! And you didn't answer your cell once I DID have access? No child of mine will be born without their fucking FATHER THERE FOR ME AND THEM!" I screamed.

"What the fuck do you want me to do, Emily?! Huh?! Just fucking quit the band and be stuck up your ass 24/7? Quit my job that I love and that pays good money just because you want me home all the time, to yourself?! Well, that's not going to fucking happen! I'll be damned if anyone, no matter WHO they are, makes me do that!"

I cringed at his tone. It was beginning to scare me a little.

"You know what, Sonny? You can take your music and career and huge fucking ego and shove it up your good-for-nothing ass!" I screeched, tears starting to form.

Usually when Sonny sees that, he immediately stops. Not this time... it went too far, and I doubt he even noticed.

"Uh, guys? I'm just gonna--" Matt said.

"SHUT UP!" Sonny and I shouted in unison.

Matt grabbed Lizzie, screaming once again, and left quickly.

"Shove it all up my ass, huh? Well fuck you too, then, Emily Aliyah Moore! I'm GLAD I'm going on tour in two days!"

With that, he picked up his car keys and left as quickly as Matt did. I slid down the side of the cabinet to the floor, energy drained, and cried.

Correction: NO ONE ever said bands and marriage was easy. I was just beginning to realize that marriage wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but I should have known that. Sonny and I had just sounded exactly like my mother and father. and THAT scared me the worst.