He Breaks Hearts Like the West Was Won

Emily

I really tried my hardest to keep myself busy around the house, anticipating the moment that Sonny would come through the front door and try to make everything all better. But once again, I was looking at the end of that mythical love rainbow. Damn that stupid rainbow, I say. Because Sonny didn't come home.

I tried one million and one times to call him, but he kept ignoring my phone calls, and finally, he turned it off. I finally left him a message.

"Sonny, please call me. Honey, we're being childish about this, we really shouldn't fight like this. Baby, just... please just come home. Just come home, and we will talk about this rationally. Baby, I miss you and I'm sorry. I love you."

I sat down on the couch as I hung up the phone, feeling very alone and very defeated. I didn't know what else to do. I called my mom.

"Mmmm, hello? Amy Williams speaking."

"Mamaaaaa. I messed uuuppp!" I sobbed.

"Oh, Honey! What happened?"

"Sonny and I got into a huge fight, and I said some things I never should've said, and he LEEEEEEFT!"

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry. Tell Mama everything."

So, I did.

"And then I said he could take his music, career and huge ego and shove it up his ass. Then he screamed 'Shove it all up my ass,huh? Well fuck you, too, then, Emily Aliyah Moore!' and said he was glad he was leaving for tour. And he hasn't called, or answered my phone calls, or returned them, and he hasn't come back home yet. Mama, what should I DO?"

There was pure silence for a few moments.

"Emily. You're my daughter, and you know I love you, and would kill anyone who hurts you. But baby, this is your battle. Yes, you should have never said those things to him, knowing that his music is his second everything, and he never should have said those things to you about children. But honey, I can't fix this for you. He is your husband, and he loves you. He will come around. Just give him thinking time, okay?"

I sniffled.

"Okay, Mama. I trust you. You've done this before with Daddy. I love you."

"Love you too, babydoll. Now try to calm down and get some sleep, okay?"

"Okay, Mama. Talk to you later. Bye."

I hung up, and looked around my empty house. 'Get some sleep? But... how am I supposed to do that without Sonny beside me?' I wondered. I let out a big, gusty sigh, and went to get ready for bed.

I tossed and turned as soon as I laid down. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep. Suddenly, I felt weight pushing onto the bed, shifting it, and two warm arms slid around my waist. I jumped, freaking out.

"Em. It's me."

I looked up into the darkness, and as my eyes adjusted, my face lit up.

"Sonny! Oh, baby, I'm so--"

"Shh-sh-sh-sh. Just go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

I nodded, gave him a little peck, and, finally, fell asleep.

I woke to the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. I threw on a robe and ran into the kitchen to find Sonny drinking a cup of coffee and reading the mail. He looked up and stared at me. I just stared back dumbly.

"G-good morning," I offered.

He just slightly nodded and went back to the mail. I coughed, and kept looking at him, and he never once looked up.

"Sonny," I finally said, softly.

He slowly looked up at me.

"You can't honestly stay mad at me, can you?"

He lowered his eyes, then looked back at me.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

That wasn't quite the answer I was expecting. I widened my eyes, and they were already brimming with tears.

"One? I can give you more! You're my husband, my best friend, my love, my everything, my life saver. I never meant to be so mean. I didn't mean for it to sound like I never want children! I didn't mean to hurt you."

Then, that was it. The tears spilled over, flooding my cheeks, and he was out of his chair in a flash, holding me to him tightly.

"I'm s-so s-sorry!" I wailed.

"Emmie, please, calm down. It's okay. I'm right here. It will be fine. Just, please, don't cry."

I shook my head.

"I c-can't help it, Sonny! I hurt you! You want a child right now, and I won't g-give it to you."

He brushed my hair away from my damp face.

"Emily, don't worry about it. We have plenty of time to have children."

I sniffled and looked up.

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Really."

The next day, Sonny and the rest of From First To Last said goodbye to girlfriends, wives, and children, and headed out for tour. Hopefully I could keep myself busy for four to five months. It'd be hard at first, but I'd get used to it.