Ocean of Emotion

I studied my reflection in the mirror in front of me. The dress was far too puffy. My hair was as hard as solid concrete with the amount of hairspray the hairdresser had used, never mind the hairspray top ups Sacha kept on with. She always sprayed it at an inappropriate moment, choking anyone within a ten mile radius with the fumes.

I looked down at the bunch of cream roses in my hand. I gently pulled at the curly piece of white ribbon that tied the stems together. The ribbon sprung back into place, like my hair would, if it wasn't cemented into place.

The door opened and Sacha walked inside, thick black tear tracks decorating her cheeks, slowly streaming down her neck. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue, her sight clamping on me. "Oh Bliss," she broke down in hysterics, more tears escaping her eyes and messing up her face.

"Sacha, what is it?" I asked, releasing the bunch of roses from my hands and walking over to her, with difficulty since the dress was quite heavy. I waited for her to calm down to find out what the hell was wrong with her.

"It's Josh and Max," she sniffled. Wiping her eyes again, which wasn't much help since the tears started again.

"What about them?" Panic began to set in. Something had to be seriously wrong if Sacha was in hysterics over them. An accident maybe? Both of them stuck in the confines of a crushed car? A fire? Or maybe they'd been arrested for some stupid act, they thought would be funny.

"They're...th-they're, just go and ask them!" She wailed, stabbing her index finger towards the heavy wooden doors.

I rolled my eyes and lifted my dress up, trying to maneuver myself around Sacha without knocking her flying with my meringue dress. I leaned all my weight on one of the doors and it opened slowly, letting me out into the drafty corridor.

"Josh?" I asked, spotting the man who was my soon to be husband, standing in the doorway of the church. His breath clouding over in the harsh December weather. He spun around to see me standing there, waiting to find out what all the commotion was about. "What's happening?"

"I'm so sorry, Bliss. I can't marry you." It was a simple sentence. I felt my heart slowly beginning to crumble in the confines of my rib cage. My breath caught in my throat and tears stung my eyes. "It's not you, it's me," he carried on, "this was wrong from the start. I'm so sorry for hurting you like this, you have no idea how bad I feel. It'd just be wrong if we carried on this masquerade. I can't live this lie anymore."

"Just get to the point, Joshua," I hissed, anger bubbling up deep inside me. I gripped the dress, wanting to tear the material. I wanted him to hear the harsh ripping sound, one that would sound much like my heart breaking in two.

"I'm gay. I'm so sorry Bliss."

That was what Sacha was so upset about? The girl that, as a teenager longed for a bitchy gay best friend whom she could gossip with, a guy who could be one of the girls, someone camp and who would gladly give her outfit advice and talk to her about boys without getting bored of her weekly problems. "Then why is Sacha - ?" I began, before Max moved into the light from the shadows. He reached out of Josh's hand. I shook my head and ran past them, ignoring them calling me to go back.

My eyelids shot open and I sat bolt upright in bed. Beads of sweat clung to my skin, forming a light sticky sheen. I inhaled deeply, trying to control my breathing. "Just a nightmare," I breathed, looking around the room. My eyes took in the surroundings and the panic was over.

Josh was laid beside me, he groaned and opened his eyes. "Bliss, what is it?" He rubbed one eye lazily and looked up at me, worry in his eyes.

"It was just a nightmare, I think," I sighed, laying back down and shifting closer to him. His arms seemed to automatically wrap around my sticky body. "You still love me, right? Your not gay for Max? You won't jilt me at the alter for him?"

He pressed an affectionate kiss to my forehead. "No of course not. Touring with him is bad enough, do you really think I'd want a relationship with him? No, Bliss, I was planning to run away with Chris, or maybe Henri. Haven't decided yet."

I slapped his arm. "Don't even joke about it. It'd be just my luck."

"Well you did have a thing with a gay guy before."

I groaned and closed my eyes moving even closer to him and burying my face into his neck. "Don't remind me. Go to sleep. I love you."

It was just a dream. Nothing could go wrong. Could it?