Wreckage From the Past Haunts Me; Shakes Me to the Bone

“You don’t cause a lot of trouble Tris.” were the words that left Jimmy’s mouth as I cooked breakfast.

“Where’d that come from?” I asked as I stirred the blueberries, water and the sugar together.

“Last night the last thing I heard before I passed out was “I’m sorry for causing so much trouble”. I’m saying you don’t cause a lot.” He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“But I do Jim. Look how much drama I cause everyone. The nights my brother and Tegan stayed awake worried about me because I was in a coma. The nights you stayed up with Aidyn because I was messed up in some way. Babe I cause so much trouble it’s not funny. I’m sorry.” I said as I walked out of the room. I walked into our room and out on the patio. I’m acting like a baby. I know it. There was nothing he said or did to get me this mad, but I just couldn’t help it. I stared out at the lake, taking in everything trying to calm down the annoying nerve that crawling up my spine. The snow coated the ground making it look all one color verus having the variations of greens and bright colors that adorn the flowers. There wasn’t blues and reds and purples, just green from the trees and the white from the snow. It looked amazing though. I could see the snow caps of the other mountains. I smiled at the thought of Jimmy bringing us up here just for the sight. I should go back in and apologize. I sighed and shook my head before walking back into the kitchen. He was standing with his back to me. His hands on either side of the sink resting his weight on it. His eyes were glued outside, watching the snow much like I was. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned my head against his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered as he set one of his hands on mine, “I overreacted and acted childish.”

“It’s not your fault. You had a lot of stress on you.” He whispered back not taking his eyes off the window, “he’s left you a lone and he’s still getting to you. I guess I just don’t understand it.”

“I...I think it’s just cause I was with him for so long that now I’m free of him...I feel like it’s too good to be true you know?” He just nodded at my explanation. He turned around with a small smile on his face.

“Why don’t you go change and we can go for a walk? Maybe we can go get some food for the cabin?” He said as he ran a hand through my hair. I nodded, smiling. I leaned up and kissed him lightly before walking back to the room. I sighed knowing I had hurt him, but I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and focused on getting ready. I pulled on my red and black plaid long sleeve shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. I slipped on the my brass knuckle necklace and my white gold ring with a black diamond and two red gems on either side. I sighed as I slipped my converse on and my Billabong jacket. Jimmy came in while I was fixing my hair and put on his clothes.

“Baby...” I said as I set down my brush.

“Yeah?” He asked not turning around to look at me.

“I really am sorry. There’s no excuse of why I was so mad. It wasn’t at you I swear. I’m sorry if I hurt you. It’s just like he’s a ball chained to my ankle. I pull and I pull just to get pulled back. I need you to break that chain.” I said as I stared at his back. He turned around and looked me straight in the eye and walked over to me.

“I’ll break it. I had your heart first. I know it wasn’t at me you were so mad at. I guess it hurt because I hate to see you think of yourself as trouble. Trista your eyes are almost all purple. Purple in your eyes always means your mad at your self and there’s no reason to be. That’s why I was hurt. I was hurt because you are and I don’t know how to help you.” He said set his hands on my hips.

“You are baby. You’re helping me so much more then you know. Then you’ll ever know.” I said as I set my hand on his cheek. He leaned more into my touch and smiled before kissing my hand.

“Lets go.” He said as he threw me over his shoulder. I screamed not expecting it, but ended up laughing. He set me down next to the door and took my hand.

“If we’re going to go get food for the cabin don’t you think we should take the car and then go for a walk?” I asked as I thought more about what he said earlier. He looked at me before sticking out his tongue and running back into the kitchen. I laughed and shook my head waiting for him to come back. He smiled as he saw me standing there.

“Let’s go!”

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“Jimmy do we really need all of this?” I said as I looked down at the cart that was full of food.

“Yeah...” He said in a “Duh” tone of voice.

“Why?”

“Cause we’re gonna be up her for a week, figured we might as well get good food. Stop looking at me like that! Ok it’s just all good food that I want. Now we’re off to get pickles!” I stared at the man I admit out loud I love and the basket.

“Worse then a pregnant chick.” I muttered under my breath.

“I heard that!” he yelled making people look at him.

“You were meant too.” I said as I laughed. I caught up with him in the checkout line where he paid $200 in food. I stared at him in shock making the cashier laugh.

“You’re a pig.” I said as we put everything away when we got back to the cabin.

“No that’s Zacky...Damn he’s not here! I can’t insult him!” Jimmy said as he looked around. I laughed at him and threw the last bag away.

“I believe you promised me a walk in the snow.” I said as I stood at the door. He nodded, smiling, and took my hand in his before walking out of the house. We walked down towards the lake.

“We should just buy a cabin up here.” He said softly as we stared out at the half frozen lake.

“Why?” I asked looking up at him with confusion.

“We come up here a lot. Plus I would love for the kids to grow up coming out here. Once they get older the can come up here with their friends unattended. At least we’ll know their safe.”

“Jimmy that is too far in the future. They’re never growing up.” I said stubbornly. He laughed before shaking his head.

“That’s the same thing your mom said and look where that landed us.” He said as he pulled me closer to him. I pulled away and looked at him before running off. He stared at the spot I was before running after me. I hid behind a tree. He looked around before I got an idea. I bent down and grabbed a handful of snow and made a snowball before throwing it at his shoulder. I hit my mark making him glare at me. He smirked when he saw me, making me gulp. He ran after me as I ran around the snow covered ground. He tackled me to the ground making me scream.

“That’s wasn’t very nice.” He said as he moved hair out of my face.

“Who ever said I was?” I asked with my eyebrow raised.

“Your brother.”

“That was like 20 years ago!” I said as I laughed, “Plus I grew up with you guys do you really think I’m gonna be nice?”

“Hmm...I guess not.” He said as leaned down to kiss me. However instead of a kiss I got a face full of snow. I gasped and stared at him with wide eyed making him laugh.

“Hey babe you got some snow on your face.” He said as he tried to stop laughing.

“Really?” I asked as he nodded, “Well it seems you have some on your head.” I said as I grabbed a hand full of snow and dumped it on his head. He just laugh and shook his head covering me with the wet snow that had started to melt. We both started to laugh and continued to until we ran out of breath. He was now laying next to me instead of on me as we both panted, trying to catch our breath.

“We should get back to the cabin. It’s getting pretty late.” He said as he looked out to see the sun setting over the lake. I nodded and kissed him before getting up and walking back.

“You forgot about me!” He yelled dramatically.

“Hurry your ass up then!” I yelled as I stared at him. He laughed and got up running after me. Once he got to me he picked me up and spun us around. I laughed as he set me back down. I leaned my head back on his shoulder as we walked. Once we had changed clothes we both climbed into bed and just laid there, facing each other; one of Jimmy’s arms was wrapped tightly around my waist while the other was under his head. His eyes were closed as my fingers trailed along his jaw line. My eyes were following my fingers taking in the bruise that he had gotten because of me. I sighed and trailed my fingers over his nose next. He laughed quietly as he felt my fingers run over the scar on his nose, from one of the many drunken nights. I smiled lightly before tracing his lips. He kissed my fingers each time one passed. I moved my hand, setting it on his neck instead. He opened his eyes and looked at me, moving a piece of hair that had fallen in my face before leaning over and kissing my lips softly. I put more pressure into the kiss and thread my hands through his dark messy hair. I pulled slightly as he licked the seam of my lips, making both of us moan. He moved so he was laying over me with both of my legs on each side of his hips. He was running one hand up my thigh, going to the edge of my purple plaid boyshorts before go back down to my knee. His other hand was slowly making it’s way up my black tank top while my hands were running under his black shirt running down his spine making him shiver. I felt his hand go up to the underside of my bust before I pulled away.

“Too far?” He asked trying to catch his breath. I giggled and shook my head.

“Not at all...There’s just something I want to do first.” I said as I got off the bed and kissed him. I grabbed something out of the bag really fast before going into the bathroom. I looked at myself and sighed. I walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on my face before changing out of my clothes and into my dark blue babydoll set. I know what your thinking you’re really going to “dress up” for him? Well you know how the whole thing goes...you want to look sexy for your man...this is just how I’m doing it.