Real Boys Kiss Boys
Confusion
„Hi Frank... I´m sorry I´m late.“
„It´s no tragedy, you know. Well ... everything okay?“ I ask.
Gerard noddes closing the door behind him. I go on with playing my guitar. I´m very concentrate ... but then Gerard sits down next to me on the floor.
I play some chords but it sounds wrong. I can´t concentrate ´cause he´s here. I love this boy so much – I said that to him a few weeks ago – but he doesn´t feel the same way as me ... I´m stupid: I thought he is maybe gay ... but he isn´t. I thought he felt in love with me – ... sometimes he said words to me ... but I wasn´t right! he was very strange the time after I told him that I love him. Of course he was strange to me ... but now it´s the same like before my confession.
He smiles. I look up. He smiles even brighter ...
„what´s so funny?“ I see my best friend smiling all the time.
„Nothing ... it´s just you lookin´so cute ...“
I look confused in his beautiful brown eyes.
„Don´t make me hoping we could get happy together ... You said to me-“
„ ... that was ... I didn´t mean it like I said ...“
I`m really confused. I put my guitar next to me on the floor and give him an evil look
„Don´t go on like that!“ I say angry.
He´s silent ... I`m looking straight into his eyes. I can´t look away for one second ...
He places one hand on the back of my neck and pulls my head closer to his own. His lips crashed into mine and he pushes me back against the wall behind me. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls his lips further into mine.
... suddenly he stops, looking me straight into my eyes.
„What the fuck?“ I gasp for breath. I dreamed of such situations!
“I´m sorry ... “ Gerard stands up and goes to the door.
“Gee – wait a mo...”
He just looks at me and then he leaves me all alone with my confusion.
I drop in my pillow and close my eyes. What the hell was going on with Gerard? Why did he kiss me?! I think he doesn´t feel anything for me? I think, he isn´t gay, is he? I flip over to the other site of my bed and shigh loudly.
“Gerard ... can I have a word with you?”
“sure, what´s up Frank?”
“Can we go upstairs? I don´t want Mikey to hear what I have to say.”
He looks confused in my eyes: “okay ...”
He follows me in silence. I take a deep breath and turn around to face him.
“so what´s wrong, man?”
“Gerard ... “
“Yeah, that´s my name ... come on Frank, what can be so difficult to tell me?”
If he knew ... okay, here it goes ...
“I ... I love ... you ...”
FUCK! I sit up straight in my bed. Why did I told him I love him? I´m such a fucking dipshit ... ARGH
Otherwise he kissed me this evening ... what the fuck was he thinking? He knows I love him and then he plays tricks on me! I hate it! He teased me after my confession on the party ... it was horrible. But hey, the past is the past, it was weeks ago. He was normal to me during the last days as though nothing had happened. We´re still friends.Best friends even he knows that I love him.
What the hell does he think I should do now?
Woah, I get headache of the confusion ... so I stand up and go downstairs into the kitchen. I grab a cup and pour some mains water in it. I drink it quickly and wipe the drops around my mouth away. It´s dark outside so the window reflects my mirror image. I can see a short boy with a face-eating- fringe and he´s half naked.
“Nice boxers.” I say to myself and I see a little smile on my face. I really like my `the nightmae before christmas´ boxers. I sigh, park my cup on the dinner table and make my way upstairs to get sleep.
„It´s no tragedy, you know. Well ... everything okay?“ I ask.
Gerard noddes closing the door behind him. I go on with playing my guitar. I´m very concentrate ... but then Gerard sits down next to me on the floor.
I play some chords but it sounds wrong. I can´t concentrate ´cause he´s here. I love this boy so much – I said that to him a few weeks ago – but he doesn´t feel the same way as me ... I´m stupid: I thought he is maybe gay ... but he isn´t. I thought he felt in love with me – ... sometimes he said words to me ... but I wasn´t right! he was very strange the time after I told him that I love him. Of course he was strange to me ... but now it´s the same like before my confession.
He smiles. I look up. He smiles even brighter ...
„what´s so funny?“ I see my best friend smiling all the time.
„Nothing ... it´s just you lookin´so cute ...“
I look confused in his beautiful brown eyes.
„Don´t make me hoping we could get happy together ... You said to me-“
„ ... that was ... I didn´t mean it like I said ...“
I`m really confused. I put my guitar next to me on the floor and give him an evil look
„Don´t go on like that!“ I say angry.
He´s silent ... I`m looking straight into his eyes. I can´t look away for one second ...
He places one hand on the back of my neck and pulls my head closer to his own. His lips crashed into mine and he pushes me back against the wall behind me. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls his lips further into mine.
... suddenly he stops, looking me straight into my eyes.
„What the fuck?“ I gasp for breath. I dreamed of such situations!
“I´m sorry ... “ Gerard stands up and goes to the door.
“Gee – wait a mo...”
He just looks at me and then he leaves me all alone with my confusion.
I drop in my pillow and close my eyes. What the hell was going on with Gerard? Why did he kiss me?! I think he doesn´t feel anything for me? I think, he isn´t gay, is he? I flip over to the other site of my bed and shigh loudly.
“Gerard ... can I have a word with you?”
“sure, what´s up Frank?”
“Can we go upstairs? I don´t want Mikey to hear what I have to say.”
He looks confused in my eyes: “okay ...”
He follows me in silence. I take a deep breath and turn around to face him.
“so what´s wrong, man?”
“Gerard ... “
“Yeah, that´s my name ... come on Frank, what can be so difficult to tell me?”
If he knew ... okay, here it goes ...
“I ... I love ... you ...”
FUCK! I sit up straight in my bed. Why did I told him I love him? I´m such a fucking dipshit ... ARGH
Otherwise he kissed me this evening ... what the fuck was he thinking? He knows I love him and then he plays tricks on me! I hate it! He teased me after my confession on the party ... it was horrible. But hey, the past is the past, it was weeks ago. He was normal to me during the last days as though nothing had happened. We´re still friends.Best friends even he knows that I love him.
What the hell does he think I should do now?
Woah, I get headache of the confusion ... so I stand up and go downstairs into the kitchen. I grab a cup and pour some mains water in it. I drink it quickly and wipe the drops around my mouth away. It´s dark outside so the window reflects my mirror image. I can see a short boy with a face-eating- fringe and he´s half naked.
“Nice boxers.” I say to myself and I see a little smile on my face. I really like my `the nightmae before christmas´ boxers. I sigh, park my cup on the dinner table and make my way upstairs to get sleep.