Better Man

As she walked into the room, the lights dimmed by the dial she turned on the wall. With a matchbook in her hands, she began to light several groupings of candles that were scattered about the room on tables, dresser tops, window sills...causing her face to illuminate with the warmest glow.

Donning nothing but a simple, black negligee, her full bosom seemed to billow over the top while a few strands of her dark hair moved, delicately, from the same draft that was causing the candle flames to flicker.

She wore a small smile on her face, but it didn't reveal her intentions because she only smiled with her lips. Her hazel eyes, which reflected the candlelight, showed seriousness and calmness.

Slowly, she took small steps toward the bed, sitting down on it as gently and demurely as a classy courtesan of yore. Her smile began to spread to her eyes as she climbed up onto her hands and knees and crawled into his lap.

Mike looked up at her with hungry, lust-filled blue eyes that looked like films of smoke in the minimal lighting in the room. His rougher hands gripped her waist as he leaned up to kiss her soft lips, almost dying right there.

"This is where I want you to always be," he muttered as he moved his lips to along her jawline.

"You want me?" Caroline groaned, breathlessly.

He nodded. "Very much so."

She clasped her hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at her, smiling down at him. "So have me..."

Mike moaned, closing his eyes as he let his right hand snake down between their bodies, and then moaned again.

This moment would've been truly perfect, too...if it weren't for the annoying beeping noise that interrupted his thoughts.

His eyelids gradually reopening, he groaned in displeasure when he realized all had been a dream. That he was lying in his bed alone and there were no candles lit in the room. It wasn't even dark. It was light with the morning sunlight shining through his window, stirring him awake even more.

But what was most disappointing, was that he was alone in bed. No Caroline in his lap, willingly offering herself to him.

However, he did wake up to morning wood, so to speak.

It was clearly a good dream he was having.

But it wasn't going away anytime soon, so Mike turned off the alarm and returned his hand down underneath his sheet to finish the job all by his lonesome; his breath becoming rigid and hiss-like as he imagined Caroline in the same position she'd been in within his dream. Biting his lip and keeping his eyelids screwed shut, Mike felt the way of his climax run through his body like an Olympic track star.

Dipping his head back, deeper into his pillow, the 33-year-old bassist licked his lips reopened his eyes, letting his heartbeat return to normal.

Wait.

He wasn't 33 anymore.

His mind wandered to the day it had been yesterday and the day it was now.

It was a Thursday and the morning of May 4th. His 34th birthday.

One year older, one year wiser, one year closer to 40.

And since his divorce from Sarah about two years before, he was also another year lonelier.

"Happy birthday to me," he muttered, turning his head and staring toward the window.

* * *

The music blared from the speakers of the Oakland club that Billie Joe had rented out for his best friend's birthday. And he was going all out. After all, it wasn't every day that Mike turned 34. One year closer to 35! Oooh.

Adrienne had helped him decorate, lamely, with black and white streamers and balloons here and there. There were even three Go Go dancers at three different locations within the club, wearing skimpy little outfits full of sequins and fringe.

Holding a drink in his hand, Mike was bobbing his head to the sounds of Puddle Of Mudd's 'She Hates Me' while smiling at everyone who'd showed up while they wished him a happy birthday when they greeted him.

As the party began to wear on, he was surprised at how Tre showed up alone, having expected Caroline to be with him, but when he explained she had gotten tied up, not literally, at the studio, Mike understood. Even if he was a little bummed because he really wanted her there.

And then, a couple hours later, Nef showed up with his girlfriend, introducing her to the birthday boy, just as a pair of hands came up from behind Mike and covered his eyes.

"Guess who?" came a female voice.

It wasn't just the half-assed attempt at covering up her voice that gave her identity away, but the softness of her hands.

"Caroline..." he smiled.

She dropped her hands and moved around to face him as she frowned. "Yeah, I suck at shit like that." Then she grinned and hugged him. "Happy birthday, though."

Mike could've died and gone to heaven right then.

"Here," she added, handing over a small box wrapped in colorful paper. "It was a little hard trying to find the right gift for someone who has everything, but I think you'll like it."

"Thank you," he replied, but thought: All I want is you. "Do you want me to open it now?"

"No, you can do it later," she insisted. "Have you seen Tre?"

Mike frowned inwardly. "By the bar," he gestured with his head, looking down at the gift.

He saw her wrinkle her nose out of the corner of his eye and as she looked toward Tre who was more than just tipsy and chatting up one of the Go Go dancers.

When she turned back to Mike, she took him by the hand when Queens Of The Stoneage's 'Little Sister' began to play. "C'mon, birthday boy. Let's dance."

"What---"

But he didn't actually protest. He wasn't even really sure why she wanted to dance with him when she could be dragging Tre onto the dance floor but, again, he didn't protest.

She faced him with one of his legs between hers as they began to dance closely at an up tempo pace; slowly grinding their bodies together.

No, this is where Mike could've died and gone to heaven.

Snaking his hand behind her to the small of her back, he grabbed her left hand and dipped her backward and then lifted her back up in such a way that their faces were millimeters apart.

And then the song was over.

And they were still standing closely together.

That is, until Tre walked over with a lazy grin.

"Hey baby, I didn't see you arrive," he slurred. "When'd you get here?"

"A few minutes ago," she smiled and licked her lips as she pulled away from Mike and moved over to her boyfriend of four months. "Was dancing with the birthday boy."

"Yeah, I saw," Tre smirked, although, to Mike, it looked as if there was a glimmer of jealousy in the smaller man's eyes. "Wanna go over to the bar and get a drink, babe?" he asked, placing his hand on her waist, almost territorially.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Caroline smiled at Tre and then looked at Mike with a light laugh. "Thanks for the dance."

"It was, uh...nothing. Thank you, too."

Mike watched as Tre walked away with Caroline; the drummer moving his hand further south to rest on her ass.

His chest became a little heavy as he forced himself to look away and get back into the swing of the party.

* * *

Later that night, or rather really early morning, Mike was sitting alone in his living room, nursing the buzz he still had from the alcohol he'd drank at the party. He sat on the couch, hunched forward, going through all the gifts everyone had brought for him, making sure to leave a certain one for last.

In his hands he held a square box, addressed: 'To Mike, Love Caroline.'

Love. Such a tender subject for him regarding her. But of course she meant it as a friend's love.

Sighing, he undid the wrapping paper and then lifted the top off the box, looking down at two coupons laying on top of a bunch of tissue paper. Picking them up in his hands, he smirked.

One was a coupon for Starbucks, the other for Dunkin Donuts. Then he noticed a little slip of paper sticking out that said: 'I heard you're addicted to coffee and donuts.'

Mike smiled and set the coupons down on the cushion beside him along with the note as he pulled the rest of the tissue paper out. He knew there was more in the box. It was too heavy to just be coupons and paper. And sure enough, he was right.

He was staring at a plain, blue CD resting inside a clear blue jewel case, with a black sharpie that had written: 'Raspberry Tea.'

Furrowing his brow, Mike pulled the CD out and held it up to study it, then standing up to walk over to his stereo and popped the disc in and pressed play.

"Happy birthday, Mike," was the simple intro with the voice belonging to none other than Caroline.

A simple bass line began, followed by a simple guitar melody and steady beat coming from the drums. And then Caroline's voice again, singing.

"Sitting alone / Looking out a window / Pull up a chair / You can call me Care / Oh line me up / Stay for some lunch / Lookin' at me / Drink some raspberry tea..."

Mike laughed a little.

"Showed up again / Alone in my pen / No trust in you / Trust me do / You need my help / I give my help / Ghetto ass homie / Drink some raspberry tea..."

The bassist could tell this song was clearly for entertainment purposes, and it made him feel all warm inside. She was recounting the times they'd shared lunch together.

He would listen to this whenever he felt down. It was touching, yet funny. Ghetto ass homie? What happened to homeslice? Probably didn't rhyme.

Mike smirked again.

And perhaps he was pathetic in hoping this, but he hoped that when he went to sleep that night, that he would have another dream of Caroline. Because it was the only time, it seemed, that he could have her entirely and completely.

Like Tre got to.

The lucky bastard.