Where Do I Begin? All I Know Is Gone

My hangover was rampant the next morning as everyone slowly woke from their unconventional sleeping places. For some reason I found myself curled up under a large desk with my sleeping buddy right beside me. It was strangely comforting that despite being severely inebriated we still wound up in an embrace while comatose. Thankfully Jay, nor another friend of the band, Adam, were around to comment on the situation.

x

Adam was even worse than Jay with his theories and opinions of my friendship with Padge, if that was possible. He'd seen us enter the house, Padge's arm still comfortably draped around my shoulders while we both laughed at the so called decorations that had greeted us outside. When we were introduced his eyes travelled my body critically, settling on my chest for much longer than necessary before he smirked at Padge. "Nice trophy you've got there mate," was his eventual comment.

I felt like punching the bastard for the way he was making me feel like a cheap whore with his leering, but I wasn't about to ruin the night when we were supposed to be having fun. Jay and Moose soon joined us, so I got to take my anger and discomfort on people who knew how I worked.

Thankfully the rest of the people I met were much more welcoming and less outspoken of my presence. To them I was just another friend of the guys, and from the amount of people present for this little shindig they made friends pretty easily.

I made a few new acquaintances, most notably one of my favourite Welshmen, Ian Watkins, of Lostprophets fame. I ashamed myself a little by going 'fangirl' on him for a start, telling him I'd been a massive fan since I'd bought Start Something in Edinburgh on my first trip over to the UK. I had intended to buy it in Pontypridd, just to say I had, but we never got there and I never really got close to any music stores after that. My eventual purchase was completely by chance, having spotted the album in an ASDA as we stocked up on groceries. The CD never left my discman for the next two and a half weeks because I loved it so much, and only got removed by force. My aunt had decided that listening to the same music for that long was unhealthy so she hid the disc from me until we got back to New Zealand. Needless to say Ian and Jamie, who'd joined us half way through my tale were entertained enough that they let me hang out with them throughout the rest of the evening. They were quite entertaining themselves, not hesitating to bring out stories from their youth, or the early years of Bullet when the bands had first met.

x

Getting out of Padge's grasp without waking him was a skill I was slowly mastering, only having actually completed it once so far. I'm still not convinced that was a fluke though, so I carefully repeated the actions that had worked with my breath held in apprehension. Luck seemed to be on my side once again, as he only let out a small groan at the movement before readjusting his position on the hard floor.

Climbing over bodies that were scattered in my path to the kitchen I tried to stay quiet and move slowly so the pounding in my head didn't get any worse. Apparently I'd been wrong in my assumption of Jay's unawareness of my sleeping arrangement, at least if the smirk he displayed over his mug of coffee was anything to go by. He stayed silent however, which was almost as unnerving as his comments could be, but this time it wasn't because I was sending him a glare daring him to speak so I could attack him.

I really didn't understand how he could be so insistent that there was 'a chemistry', or 'a look' that apparently everyone, except Adam, was oblivious to. Yes, we were a lot closer than most people in our situations probably would have become, but that didn't mean anything out of the ordinary to me. I was more of the belief that we would have become friends under any circumstance. That we'd happened to meet during what I was starting to call our 'black period' was just an act of fate. There had to be some otherworldly reason Jay had decided to add another despondent being to his party that evening. Surely no sane person would want to surround himself with such depression willingly. But that theory would mean Jay would have to be sane for a start, which to me was questionable.

All this thinking was starting to hurt so I concentrated on finding water to re-hydrate myself. I was standing at the sink filling a glass when arms wrapped themselves around my waist and a head laid itself down against my neck and shoulder.

"Why did you get me so drunk?" the unknown body asked, revealing itself to be a Welshman. I could hear Jay's quiet chuckling in the background while I shrugged gently then drained my glass before turning my head to find Ian's bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open in the harsh morning light.

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh myself, trying not to let my shoulders jolt my newest mate too much. "Excuse me? I wasn't the one who suggested I could drink you under the table. You could've pulled out at any time bro."

His groan of indignation suggested he thought otherwise. "Nope. That was never gonna happen Just. I have a reputation to uphold," he laughed as he finally let me go free from his grasp so he could get his own drink.

Taking a seat at the table across from Jay I shook my head as softly as I could manage. "Everyone was already out of it, I doubt any of them will even remember we were competing. Hell, half of them were passed out around us. I know I remember having to push Jamie off me when he crashed. You just wanted to get wasted."

Sadly, that was the truth. For being rockers and from a nation known to be drinkers there were quite a few disappointments suffered throughout the evening. At least Ian had made a bit of fun for me since the Bullet men were too busy enjoying their highs, while their women were still busy catching up on gossip or whatever they were doing elsewhere. I much prefer to hang out with guys when I'm drinking anyway. I guess it goes back to most of my drinking occurring in rugby clubs where it's mostly a male domain.

Setting my head back against the back of the chair I was slouched in I closed my eyes, wondering if there was any chance of scoring some painkillers. It didn't take long for yet another set of arms to pull me into their hold. This time the scratchiness of facial hair and the small kiss against my cheek told me who it was before I could force my eyes open once again. "I don't like waking up alone."

"Morning Padge. Sleep well?" I could hear the smirk as Jay sounded far too cheerful.