Where Do I Begin? All I Know Is Gone

"So then I'm walking into the arrivals lounge, thanking whoever that this trip from hell is finally over. As if I didn't already hate Dublin enough after my first time there." This was going to take a lot of explaining, but these guys seemed pretty amused with my tale so far.

I know I said I was a girl of few words, but once you add in alcohol and get me on a roll it can be hard to shut me up. It also helped that I felt a strange sense of comfort with these men, who hadn't seemed to judge me so far. They just took my words as they came, and accepted them for what they were. It seemed as if everyone else had gotten sick of peering over, which also eased the pressure of the situation.

"So four years ago my aunt and I had missed our connection at Heathrow after being late leaving Rome. It ended up that we got to our gate just as the plane was being pushed back. They'd had to offload all our luggage and stuff, and somehow they forgot to put my suitcase onto the flight we ended up on. So I'm stuck with nothing my first night in Ireland, but luckily it turned up first thing the next morning. Then we had to pick up the rental car," I paused to shake my head and let out a breath of a laugh. "First the girl at the hostel gives up the wrong directions for the bus. Once we get that sorted out we turn up to the address on our information, only to find the bloody thing's been shifted! There's a little map on the door, and it doesn't look too far, so we start walking. We knew the new address for where we were heading, and it would've been ok, but the bloody Irish have to give the same road, I think it was four different names, along a stretch of about a mile! Ended up having to walk half way across the city center before we finally managed to get the bloody car sorted. It was not a fun day!"

By now they were all chuckling at my frustration, and I couldn't help but laugh as well. Just remembering the day brought the memories back clearly, the emotions feeling as strong as they had when it had happened.

"But anyway!" I announced once we'd managed to regain our composure and a new round of drinks had been ordered. "Back to my original story. So I'm walking out looking for Conor, who I actually met on that trip, just wanting to start my new life. I find him standing near the door, hands in his pockets. He's not looking excited to see me at all, so I'm wondering what the hell is going on, cos his dad had been pretty unwell. I go to hug him, give him a kiss, but he backs away, and I'm just standing there, confused as hell and getting angry. I can have a bit of a quick temper. But yea... So finally, he starts talking, saying how sorry he is."

Jay's arm reached around my shoulder, as he hugged me gently to his side. It was as if they all knew where this was heading, not that it was exceedingly difficult to work out from the information they already had about me.

"Yea, apparently he decided, after telling me that he knew I was 'the one', and saying that he couldn't wait to see our kids having their first pints, that he didn't actually love me at all. I've just given up everything in my life, moved to the other side of the fucking world for him, and he changes his bloody mind. I sure know how to pick them!" Tears were threatening to fall but I wouldn't let myself cry anymore over this, as my voice rose in volume before falling low as it came close to failing me. Jay's arm only tightened its hold on me as Moose placed a hand on my knee, squeezing gently in an act of sympathy and comfort. Matt's hands closed around my left, that had been lying on the table as my right brushed against my eyes. Padge had dropped his head into his hands, looking somewhat torn as he shook it gently.

"You're still wearing your ring," Matt's gentle voice broke through the silence that now consumed us. He'd turned my hand over so that the metal band in question could now be seen, glinting almost mockingly in the dim light that was overhead.

Pulling my hand from his I took the ring off, placing it down on the table, all eyes on it as it sparkled. "I didn't even realise. A whole week..." How could I have missed something as obvious as that? "Any of you guys in the market for an engagement ring?" I joked, needing to break the tense atmosphere that had been created.

Unfortunately my plan seemed to backfire on me as the tension only rose. Three sets of eyes darted nervously between the ring, Padge, and I, successfully confusing me. The only thing I could do was join in on the apprehension, looking from face to face, waiting. It didn't take long; slowly Padge was raising a hand from his pocket, stretching it out before him to place another ring down next to mine.

"Yesterday. We got back into town and I found it on my bench with a note."

This struck a chord with me, not just because I'd been through the same thing only days earlier, but also because the method used was heartless. At least Conor had the decency to tell me to my face, though his timing could have been better. I couldn't even imagine how much worse I would've taken the news without seeing the remorse in his eyes.

Pushing Jay's side I shoved him out of his seat while connecting with Matt's soft blue eyes and motioning for him to do the same so I could scoot my way into his place and pull Padge into a tight embrace that was returned with slight hesitance.

"I'm sorry if I made tonight any worse for you. You'll be ok. If I can get through this, you can too," I spoke quietly into his ear, hoping to comfort each of us, if only a little.