Where Do I Begin? All I Know Is Gone

The rest of that afternoon we spent at Padge's house. It was a little smaller than Matt's, and from the outside it looked a little run down. That was understandable though, when was he around to fix it up? It only really needed a new paint job, some new guttering and a bit of gardening done to tame the bushes that had gone wild. The rough first appearance was forgotten as soon as I stepped through the front door though. Dark wood floors covered strategic patches with colourful rugs, ornaments and decorations placed in just the right spots to accentuate them beautifully... It just felt like a home should. There was a warmth, a presence to the house, something I'd never experienced outside of my childhood home.

I stood in the entrance of his living room, entranced by the new sights, just taking in everything while Padge let out a small nervous laugh, continuing through to another room.

"Your house is amazing," I called out after a minute or so, following his path into what I discovered was a small sitting room. It was apparent that there were items missing from some spots, something I attributed to his fiancées leaving. Obviously she would want to take her personal bits and pieces with her.

Padge was playing around with a few books on a set of shelves as I entered. Facing me he shrugged a little, as if he was embarrassed by my evaluation. "It's ok," his small smile appeared. "It's nice while I'm here... but not so much at the moment. Here." His hand was outstretched towards me, the book he'd been searching for resting between his fingers.

Taking hold of it, I studied its cover curiously. "What's this for?" From the title, it was some sort of Welsh historical thing. The cover was a picture of Conwy Castle, looking out over the river - a sight I was pretty familiar with from seeing it in person as well as on several postcards I'd bought as souvenirs and to send to family and friends.

"Well," he drawled out as he led me back through the living room, "You said you like historical places, and I thought maybe you could find something in there that you didn't know about. Maybe I could take you, before we go on tour. It was just a thought."

The shyness was back, along with the red tinge on his cheeks. It was cute to see a grown man looking so unsure. Reaching out to grab his hand I pulled him to a stop, turning him around so I could hug him tightly.

"Thanks Padge, it's a very sweet offer that I will more than likely take you up on." Padge seemed a bit taken aback at my affectionate gesture, but went with it anyway. It seemed like he was the kind of guy that would do anything to make sure you were comfortable before thinking about himself.

After a small tour of the house, that impressed me even more, we settled down in front of the television. With no real plans, other than the hope of finding entertainment we flicked through the channels. Nothing appealed to us, but being late on a Saturday afternoon that wasn't really surprising.

"Well that was... disappointing," I laughed as Padge sighed in defeat. We'd already decided that we couldn't be bothered going out to do anything, since the famous British weather had set in as we finished our tour, and looked like it was going to stick around for the rest of the evening.

"Certainly was. What now, what now?" Padge mumbled to himself, seemingly racking his brain for ideas. "Well, no. Or? No," he continued to argue with himself quietly, probably thinking I couldn't hear him until he saw my amused expression.

Choosing not to explain himself he held up one finger to me, signalling to wait for a minute, as he left the room. There were a few thuds heard as he ran up the stairs, then repeated as he came back down. A large cheesy smile took over his face when he re-entered the room, a handful of DVD cases in his hands.

"I just grabbed some," he explained as he threw them into my lap. "Choose whatever." With that he was out of the room again.

Looking at the titles, I didn't recognise any so I decided to glance at the summaries. They were mostly action movies; through there was a thriller and surprisingly a musical. Nothing really jumped out at me so I closed my eyes and chose a case at random, causing Padge to laugh when he saw me reaching around blindly on the couch beside me where I'd laid them out. He came bearing drinks and announced he'd ordered a pizza before asking what had come out as the winner.

Looking down to the case in my hands I found it to be Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Throwing the case at Padge he grinned as he went to place the disk into the player. "I love this movie. It's funny as hell."

I found his words to be true as I laughed along to the various antics played out over the next two hours. There were a couple of points where I was struggling for breath because I couldn't stop laughing, causing Padge to have to pause the film until I could regain my composure somewhat. I had a great time, just hanging out with my new buddy.

When he lit up half way through the movie I was a little surprised, though I don't really know why. I knew he was a smoker, he'd gone through more than a pack of cigarettes in the time I'd known him, and he was a musician after all. It was only fair that in living up to the metal image of black clothing and long hair he also did drugs.

It didn't really worry me; I've been around my fair share of stoners. In fact, at least half of my class at high school considered themselves regular drug users. It wasn't rare to see joints being passed between friends on their way to classes, some being a little more subtle and swapping small packages. Most school dances weren't complete without someone being kicked out after being discovered to be high. That's just the way my school was, and it was one of the 'cleanest' schools in the city.

"You want?" Padge had questioned as he lit the tip hanging out of his mouth. Shaking my head no I was content to becoming lightly buzzed on the fumes that surrounded us. I'd never been much of a smoker, due to a family history that involved me having to watch my grandparents suffer with asthma while they continued to smoke. That constant coughing and lack of breath had always been enough to put me off taking up the habit, but I didn't object to the odd puff here and there when I was in the mood.

The rest of the evening continued with more movies, smoking and drinking until exhaustion started to set in. Not up to finding my way back to the hostel, and not wanting Padge having to go out of his way, I graciously accepted the offer of a bed for the night.

Crawling under the covers, not even bothering to change into the clothes Padge had yet again lent me, I was grateful for the chemicals in my system that allowed me to drift off to the peaceful world of unconsciousness in minutes.