F'd Up Family:The Kaulitz Family

"What the hell-OZZY!"

"Nick stop! Eliza!"

I look over from feeding my 12-month-old cousin Kimberly to see Nick being attacked by two 8 year olds while trying to run upstairs. Our little brother Oskar (Ozzy) and our other cousin Eliza.

I have to put up with this noise for two weeks. Five kids and they are all bad ass hell.

Ozzy with his red Mohawk is a little prankster and likes jumping off things. You can’t take your eyes off him for a second. He's always plotting something against Nick but he's nice to me.

Asia Listing is Nina's little sister. She's only 3 years old but the girl gets on my nerves. Whatever is in her hand she throws at me which is usually something hard like one of the boys' toy cars. She also likes to pull my hair.

Then it's our cousins, aunt Misha's kids. Kimberly, Justin, and Eliza Jonas. Whenever Eliza and Ozzy are together watch out! Seriously, you have to be careful. It starts out with little thing like putting stuff on your face while you are asleep then it turns into illegal stuff. One time Nick took them to the store, they took a pair of underwear (women's underwear I might add) and put it into his pocket and well...you should know what happened next.

Justin is six and sticks to me like glue whenever they visit. Him and Kimberly both so they don’t really count.

"Damn it! Mom! Get your kid before I kill him!" I hear Nick yell from upstairs. He doesn’t know I’m here yet. I just got here; I was supposed to come home last week but stayed at Robbie's. As soon as I got in here Kevin, (Misha’s husband) gave Kimberly to me. I did not mind I love Kimberly.

Ozzy runs into the kitchen with a big smile on his face, Eliza right behind him. "Lyani!"

"Hey badasses whatcha doing to Nick?"

"We were gonna cut his hair but he woke up." Eliza rolls her eyes and starts playing with my hair like she always does.

"Ozzy if you touch my hair I’ll kick your little-Lyani!" Nick yells.

A smile spends across his face. I put Kimberly in the high chair and give him a hug. I know my brother is an asshole rapist but I haven’t see him in a year. He is my twin; we have been together all our lives.

He's taller than I by two inches. I swear he looks like Tom, the only difference is the hair. He has this messy thing going on.

"How are you? I heard you don’t live here anymore."

"I'm living with a friend." I sit back down in my chair and continue feeding Kimmie, "Tom is dating our next door neighbor and she is over here all the time."

He raises an eyebrow, "Is someone jealous?" he smirks.

I roll my eyes, "It’s not like that at all. She just keeps making these comments about her son 'missing me'." Whatever he was ignoring me! Then all of a sudden he tried talking to me at the rave.

"Lyani is there a park around here?" Eliza asks looking excited.

"Yeah i'll take you later. Where the hell did Kevin go?" I ask her looking about. "I just stopped by to change." Joe and I are going out for coffee since me and Robert arent surpose to see each other for a week.

I stand only to have Justin attach himself to my leg. "I'll be back later Justin."

He nods letting me go, "Okay."

I roll my eyes at Nick who seems to find this so amusing and make my way upstairs. I change into something warmer since it decided to snow. Theres a knock on my door as just as i'm finishing tying up my boots. "Come in."

Nick enters. "Mom wants to know where you're going and how long will you be gone."

God i havent been here an hour and she's already in my business. "None of her damn business."

"You better hurry up and leave then because she's on her way into the house."

"I dont have to tell her where i'm going. She not my guardian, besides i dont even live here anymore-"

"I know. Thats all mom could talk about. She said-", He closes the door and sits in the computer chair, "She said you and Tom got into this huge argument." he whispers.

Why did she tell him? Why the hell did Tom tell Tahshi? Yea i'm calling her by her name now!

"Yea so?"

"I thought you two were 'close'" He uses air quotations now?

"He has a problem with me hanging with Robb-Robert."

His brow raises much like daddy's, "Who is Robert?"

"My roommate, he owns the house." Theres the 'Tom Frown'. The same frown i got the first time i told Tom i was spending the night at Robbie's. "Nick. He's gay."

He exhales, "Tom knows this?" I nod. "Dad knows this?" I nod again.

"I think he's just pissy about me not want to spend time with him as much anymore." I stand and make my way downstairs, Nick following asking more questions about Robbie and where i'm going.

"Why the hell are you being so nosey?" I finally shout because Ozzy has joined in asking if i can bring him something back.

"Because i asked him too." Tahshi says flipping though a magazine. "Where are you going?"

I stay silent until dad asks. "I'm going to have coffee with a friend."

"Robbie?" Tom mocks my voice and i can just smack him.

"No its not."

"Yea right..."

"Look i wont be out that long. I promised Eliza i'd take her to the park. An hour at the most, okay?"

He's getting on my damn nerves....

****

I've been having coffee with Joe all week. We're not dating or anything, I just needed to get out of the house. Grandma Candase got here the day after I went home for a visit. It seems no one told her i had moved out; she and dad were arguing about me 'getting pregnant like Tahshi'.

Do i look like Tahshi? Wait don't answer that!

Aunt Shaq's brother Terrance and his girl friend Darion (or as i call her Aunt Dari!) arrived yesterday. She took me shopping for an outfit to wear to Robert parent's house tonight. Something simple, dress and boots.

When I came back, Eliza decided she wanted to play the "Dress-up and Put on Lyani's Makeup Game!" Yay!

"How do i look, Lyani?" she asks after Gracie is done with her make up. Those two are getting along really well.

"Real pretty. Go show Talon." I tell them waving them off.

"I'm gonna make him my boyfriend!" I hear Eliza say as they leave my room. God luck with that kid.

I have been trying to get ready for almost an hour but they won’t stop bothering me. Wanting me to give them tips on what color eye shadow looks best on them. They're only eight, they shouldn't be trying to impress boys until their at least 12 or 13.

"Lyani! Some guy is at the door for you."

"It's Robert! ROBERT!" I hear Gracie yell. Wow, that little girl has a big mouth on her.

I grab my coat and hurry downstairs. Good thing Tahshi had some last minute Christmas presents to pick up.

Gracie is hugging the hell out of Rob.

"Whoa!" Nick stops me on the last step at the bottom. "Do you know its snowing outside?"

I just ignore him, push him aside and hug Robbie. "These are my brothers Nick and the short one with the mo-hawk is Ozzy. Brothers, this is Robert Young."

Nick and Robbie awkwardly shake hands and mutter 'Nice to meet you'.

"What’s up Robert?" Talon nods his head standing next to Nick. So what are they going to gang up on him now?

Robert gives him the 'fuck off' face. They go back to the family room. "What's he doing here?"

"Tom is banging his mom, remember?"

He chuckles nodding. "Let’s go. Everyone's already starting to drink." He says helping me put on my coat.

"Ooh! Lyani's gotta boyfriend! Lyani's gotta boyfriend!" Eliza sings.

"Eliza. Shut up."