I Kissed a Boy

Silence fell over the room, save the steady beep of the heart monitor telling us Alex was still alive. His parents were smiling at me from a few meters away, like I was in a zoo or something.
‘Do you see now?’ his mother asked ‘We owe our son’s life to you.’ I sniffed and wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket. She moved over and patted me on the back.
‘Cry it all out, that’s it…’ she muttered, looking at his father. Silence fell again, until his father looked at his watch.
‘We’d better go…’ he announced ‘We left his brother at home.’ I’d forgotten about Alex’s younger brother completely.
‘We’ll be back tomorrow.’ his mother told me ‘Keep an eye on him, okay? And call us if anything happens.’ I nodded and they left the room hand in hand. I sat against the wall beside the door, a meter, maybe two, away from Alex. I pulled my knees close to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees. I watched the monitor, the bright green line rising and falling in time with the beeps.

*Time lapse*

I never even tried to fall asleep for fear of what could happen if I did. My legs were starting to ache from the way I’d been sat for the past hour, at least. Just waiting. Watching, I suppose. Watching for a sign he’s gonna be okay. I gave in to my aching limbs and finally stood up, never taking my gaze from the monitor. I looked at Alex and gently took hold of his hand. It was no longer icy like it was the last time I’d held it, now it was warm, almost normal body temperature. That has to be a good sign. I fixed my gaze on his pale face, the color not yet restored. More tears prickled my eyes as the last thing he said to me flooded back.
‘I love you.’
His perfect blue eyes were streaming tears and the fear buried deep inside him shone through. I knelt down beside him and softly ran my hand across his cheek.
‘I’m sorry…’ I muttered, the tears I’d tried to hold back falling to my cheeks. I moved my hand away from his face and looked back at the monitor. The line was still steady, like I hoped it was supposed to be. I bit my lower lip. If anything happened to him, I’d hold myself responsible. I felt my grip on his hand grow tighter, almost as if I was willing him to survive.
I flicked my hair out of my eyes again and wiped away a few more fresh tears. He has to live. He’s too young to die. Too perfect. Too… well, everything. He’s too good for me, I know that much. I’ll never be to him what I most want to be. More than a best friend. Tears streamed over my cheeks.
I took the opportunity to do what I may never do again.
I gently pressed my lips against his before pulling away quickly like nothing had happened. I kept my gaze firmly on the heart monitor for several minutes, mentally replaying the kiss that he’d never know about. I felt even more tears rush to my cheeks. I stared at the machine, trying to take my mind off things. A voice broke my attempt.
‘Ed?’ They asked. Their voice was hoarse, yet still instantly recognizable. I turned around, my eyes instantly meeting a perfect, ocean blue gaze.
‘Alex?’