It's the Mess That Feels So Right...

My head was now pounding, thoughts trying to break through the barrier of alcohol as I tried to think what to do. I had run the whole way home, and was now suited up against my door, blocking it from anyone trying to get in as I held my head in my hands, closing my eyes with little escape from my headache.

Gabe had kissed me. He had kissed me. Besides the fact that he was much older than me, and despite I had a boyfriend, why had I enjoyed it so much? Of course, the guilt was building up the more I thought about it and I knew that was the only reason I pulled away. Not because I had a boyfriend or any of that, just because of the guilt. What does that say about me?

I pushed myself to my feet, throwing open the wardrobe door and pulling out a suitcase, hurrying around my room and throwing in clothes and necessities. Running away wasn’t the answer, but it would do for now. Knowing Gabe, he would be back soon and try to reason with me, but like me, he would be intoxicated and wouldn’t make any sense.

Just as I was zipping up my bag, I decided I needed to change. The heavy feeling of Gabe’s clothes on my skin was drowning me, and just as I reached into my wardrobe to pick out whatever was left, my ears picked up on the sound of the door sliding open, and Shylo’s welcoming bark.

All I had to do was get out of there. My hand curled around the handle of my suitcase as I pushed the door open and headed out to the lounge, to be met with Gabe, his eyes searching out the suitcase with sad eyes.

“You’re leaving?” He asked, his voice broken. I nodded and headed closer to the door, knowing I couldn’t trust myself if I opened my mouth.

“Why? It was just one kiss! I’m sorry!” He pleaded and I had to close my eyes, his eyes burning into my back with such an intense stare.

“It was wrong.” I opened the door and just before I could escape completely, Gabe whispered one more question.

“Did you regret it?” I walked out, closing the door behind me silently, before heading toward the stairs, yet stopping myself from walking down them. Gripping onto the banister, I closed my eyes and let out the breath I had been holding. Before I could argue with myself against the idea, I found myself back in front of the door, shyly opening it to see Gabe still standing by kitchen, motionless.

“Gabriel, it’s not that I regre-" I had turned away from him, it was hard to see him looking so hurt, so it took me by surprise when I was suddenly scooped up in his arms and pressed up against the wall, Gabe cutting me off by kissing me softly.

I wish I could say that I had enough self control to pull away, and stop, but I couldn’t resist, it was Gabe Saporta. Before I could put a restraint on my vocal chords, a loud moan escaped and Gabe smirked into my lips, deepening the kiss. Gabe’s large hands dipped into the back of my shirt and exposing my warm skin to the cold wall, causing me to take in a breath, yet our lips never strayed far from one another.

Just as my back began to familiarize itself with the harsh wall, I was whirled away from it, Gabe wasting no time to head to his bedroom, and placing both of us on his unmade bed, his lips now moving to my neck. With another moan, my neck arched and my own hands started venture along the rim of his t-shirt, ducking inside to find the soft skin of his tanned stomach. Gabe, seemingly through with just kissing and running his hands down my back, made the move to removehis my shirt, instantly making me stiffen with fright.

Gabe pulled me closer than I thought possible, kissing my nose, cheeks, forehead, then began moving down to my neck, my chest and kissing my stomach until he felt my body relax and tried again, the material leaving with ease.

From then on in, it was just a rush to have skin on skin, all articles of clothing being thrown across Gabe’s bedroom carelessly. I realised that all emotions behind such actions were merely lust and need.

I wondered to myself that if we weren’t under the influence, would this be any different? Gentle and filled with love, not just two people wanting pleasure?

My eyes closed and my thoughts immediately switched off Gabe kissed just behind my ear, causing me to moan again. It was then that I realised that even if I had really wanted to, not a single muscle in my body would stop me from doing what was about to be done.