Learn to Spell, God!

Matt’s POV

After the taxi’s pulled up at the hospital entrance, we all hurried out and rushed towards the reception desk. We must have created quite a scene to watch, nine people with multiple tattoos/piercings rushing into the emergency department and demanding to know where someone was. Thankfully, the receptionist was able to point us in the direction of Sophie’s room and give us some one to escort us there.

As we arrived at the private room, we all peered through the glass in the wall to try and assess Sophie’s situation, we could not find much to assess. She was huddled up on the bed, the hospital gown covering her feet so that only her head and arms were exposed; the sign of a broken girl.

We entered the room cautiously, as not to alarm her; thus scaring her even more than she already was. Pippa, Jenn, Layla and Danni all ran towards her and pulled her into them for a group hug. Sophie sobbed in their arms as they consoled her. When the doctor walked into the room, they all sprang apart.

“Well, in all my years as a doctor, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a gathering like this in a hospital room,” the doctor laughed as we all sat there feeling edgy. “I am Doctor Phillip Doe.” As he said this, Layla’s hand flew up to her face and she clamped it over her mouth, stifling a laugh. Thankfully, doctor Doe did not notice this and he continued talking. “I presume that this lovely lady is Miss Sophie Heaviside, am I correct?” Sophie nodded in reply. “Well, I am afraid that we are going to have to run some tests and do something about that jaw of yours. It looks like it was treated at the scene. The paramedics have told me that you were already being looked after before they arrived, is this so?” Sophie nodded again.

“Do you think it’d be possible to get her something to write on, ‘cause she can only say yes or no at the moment and not all of us can understand sign language.” Danni asked.

“Ah, right, yes. I will get the nurse to fetch her something straight away. I just need to get a sample of blood first; we need to run some tests.” The doctor pulled a syringe and a piece of material out of his pocket and proceeded to tie the material around Sophie’s arm, to raise the artery. After he was happy with the amount of blood he had drawn, he then transferred it into a glass vial, before leaving the room with the assurance that a nurse would be along soon with something for Sophie to write on.

As soon as he had shut the door behind him, Pippa spoke up.

“Why the fuck did you laugh at his name?” That was directed at Layla, obviously.

“Oh, come on! You must have found it funny? Phillip Doe? You don’t get it do you?” She raised her eyebrow as she explained why she laughed.

“Phillip Doe? What’s so funny about that?” Jimmy asked, confused.

“P. Doe! Jesus.” She shook her head in defeat. I suddenly understood.

“Oh, I get it now, Pedo. Funny.” I replied, without laughing.

“It’s funny!” Jimmy was suddenly bent double with laughter.

“I’m glad someone appreciates it.”

“In another situation, maybe.” Jenn rolled her eyes.

“Well, meh.” Wow, mature answer there from the girl with the blue hair. Before anyone had the chance to say something else on the matter, the nurse walked in.

“Here you are. You can use this to write on, and if the pen runs out, all you have to do is press the call button.” The nurse handed Sophie a whiteboard and pen, then walked out of the door, not wanting to intrude. A male nurse, how peculiar.

Immediately, Sophie pulled the cap off of the pen and began to write something. When she had finished, she held it up and tried to smile.

Did you see the nurse’s name tag?

We all shook our heads, we had not been paying attention to his name; we were too transfixed on the fact that the nurse was male.

Mike Hunt

Layla immediately started laughing. Her and Sophie are on the same wave length then; or so it appears. The rest of us, however, did not understand why that was so funny.

“I don’t get it.” Jenn spoke up. Sophie rolled her eyes as she rubbed out the words and began to write something else.

Say it out loud, jesus.

A low rumble ran through the room as we all repeated the words ‘mike hunt’ over and over again, we still did not understand what was so funny. Sophie shook her head at us when we told her this and proceeded to harass her newly acquired writing implements.

My cunt. God, are you all dumb or something?

Brian was sat there, looking shocked as to how she could possibly be joking around about people’s names when she had been raped and assaulted less than an hour ago. To be honest, I don’t understand how she can do that, either. Neither can everyone apart from Layla, obviously their wave length allows them to see the funny side at all times, no matter what’s happening.

I would laugh at your faces right now, but that hurts too much, so writing down my laughter will suffice.

I read her latest statement just before she rubbed it out with the palm of her hand and began to write something new.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha YOUR FACE’S hahahahahahahaha

I couldn’t stop myself cracking a smile at this, her spirits can never be dampened, can they? Brian must have noticed this as his facial expression had improved greatly and he was now smiling.

Jeez Bri, cheer up. Anyone would think that I’m dead, not crippled.

Sophie forced herself to smile as she held up the whiteboard, but then she proceeded to wince; not the best idea you’ve ever had there, Sophie.

The doctor entered the room again to laughter. He must have sensed our raised spirits and decided to come and depress us all.

“Well, we have the results of your blood test back and there is good news and bad news. Which do you want first?” Brian’s face fell as Sophie proceeded to write her answer down.

Good news first, then the bad news.

“The good news is that you haven’t contracted any sexually transmitted diseases.” Sophie nodded her head in relief as the doctor said those words, before continuing onto the next bit of information. “You may consider this good or bad but, you’re pregnant.” Brian’s jaw dropped and his fist clenched. Sophie blinked a few times, tears appearing the corner of her eyes that were threatening to fall. “Of course, under the circumstances we are willing to abort the pregnancy, if you wish?” The doctor offered. Sophie nodded slowly as tears spilled from her eyes and the girls rushed back over to her and hugged her again. “Okay, we will of course have to fix your jaw, but that won’t take very long. The nurse will return in a minute to administer the medication and take you where you need to go. I truly am sorry about all of this.”

He exited swiftly, leaving us in shock. Brian’s face contorted in anger as his knuckles turned white through restricting the blood flow through his hands. He had his knuckles clenched as he stood up and stalked towards the wall that the door was on. Unfortunately, that wall was the wall that had the viewing window on it. Needless to say, that did not stop him from releasing his fury on the glass. So we now owe the hospital money, just like we still owe those hotels which we inadvertently destroyed.

The ‘nurse’ came running along the corridor to see what was going on.

“What is all this hubbub about? Why on earth is there glass on the floor?” Nurse Hunt exclaimed upon seeing the broken glass scattered along the corridor. He raised his head and surveyed Brian. His knuckles were bloody and light reflected off of them where the glass has penetrated his skin and gotten stuck there. “Well now, what a hullabaloo you have here. Sir, we’re going to have to take you to a cubicle to sort out your hand. Would one of you lovely gentlemen like to come with him for moral support?” I saw Sophie’s face drop as ‘nurse’ winked at Jason and then Brian. She looked offended by this, so she pulled out the whiteboard.

I’m awfully sorry about the mess that my fiancée’s created here, we will of course pay for any damage. Please don’t molest them.

Mike’s jaw dropped as he read her message to him, and he began to stutter.

“I, what, how’d you know?!” Sophie smiled slyly and rubbed out the writing.

I may be invalid, but my gay-dar is still in tip top condition, love.

Mike scowled and ushered Brian and Jason out of the room. As Jason walked out of the door, Mike’s hand lowed to his nether-regions. A moment later, Jason jumped slightly and emitted a high pitched squeal. No prizes for guessing what Mike did to him.

Sophie pressed the call button that was located by the side of the gurney. Another male nurse came running into the room. What is it with this hospital and male staff? Intrigued, I studied his name badge. Chris Peacock. You have got to be kidding me. This hospital’s full of perverts. Seriously? Paedo, crispy cock and my cunt? What is the world coming to?

Do you have a brother called Drew?

“Errm, yeah, why?” Chris looked at Sophie apprehensively.

My woman’s intuition told me so. Droopy cock and crispy cock? You’re damn unlucky there ain’t ya?

Chris was obviously offended by this, he stormed out of the room, his arms flailing. Sophie pressed the call button again. Chris came back in, frowning.

“What?” He bit, rudely.

I need the damn morning after pill and my jaw fixed, thanks so much.

Chris growled and pulled a wheelchair out from under the gurney. Sophie helped herself into it, suppressing a smile. She was clutching her whiteboard as if it were her only life line.

Goodbye! I’ll miss you! Look after Brian for me! I’ll see you all in the reception after I get this damn thing outta me! Danni! Jenn! Save me! I don’t feel safe with this mad man! Stalk us as if your life depended on it! Sophie was wheeled out of the room by Chris, who had a malicious smile on his face. Jenn and Danni noticed the smile and exchanged a nervous glance before hurrying after them.

I shook my head and strolled casually over to where Pippa was, she looked distraught. She reached out to me, as if she was lost and waiting to be found. Willingly, I held her close to me, not wanting another catastrophe to happen to someone I care about. I turned my head to the side, as she rested her head on my chest, and saw Zacky doing something similar with Layla. Beyond them, there was a peculiar scene: Johnny and Jimmy, mocking us. I always knew that they were gay together.

***

We were crowded around Brian in his little cubicle. All I can say is that I am glad that I am not claustrophobic; there was not a lot of room in there. With Mike as well, it was even more cramped. Mike was pulling shards of glass out of his hand, all the while Brian was wincing like a girl. At least he wasn’t crying, if he was he would never have heard the end of it.

Eventually, Mike had gotten all of the glass out of his hand and had bandaged his hand up as a precaution. He looked like clamper boy; all he needed was a jar that held his brother. Brian discharged himself as we went and sat on those uncomfortable plastic chairs to wait for Sophie and her entourage.

By the time that they turned up, Jenn and Danni flanking Sophie, Pippa and Layla had fallen asleep. Sophie was still grasping the whiteboard. It looks like that’s going to be a major part of bus life for a few weeks. Oh joys.