Learn to Spell, God!

Pippa’s POV.

♫ Matt likes to wear dirty underwear! Heh heh heh.

“Do not! Pippa, keep your drummer under control.”

“She’s not my drummer, not tonight. And your a big boy, you can take on a little girl like Sophie.”

“But she’ll hit me with her whiteboard!” You’d think I was dating a freaking eight year old, not a grown man.

“And you’re not scared she’ll get ‘Synyster fuckin’ Gates’ on you?”

“What’s he gonna do? Cry me to death like a little girl?! I don’t think so.” I’m not pulling him out of the hole he just dug himself. “OW! Pippa! Will you stop her, please?”

I strolled across the dressing room to where Sophie was beating Matt with her whiteboard.

“Sophie . . .” She stopped immediately.

“Arghh! Jesus Christ!” I hit him, hard, around the head. What a lug.

“Stop picking on my drummer, Shadows!” I laughed.

Show time, featuring Jason Berry tonight. Sophie wasn’t up to, and wasn’t allowed to by decision of Brian, playing for a few weeks. So we get JB whilst Sophie helps Matt Berry with all their technical tech jobs.

We stormed through Blackula, as normal. I don’t think we’ve strayed from our original set for a long time. We’ll have to change that soon. We have a few songs finished, ready for public approval. I had made the conscious decision to explain to the crowd, partially, why Sophie wasn’t playing.

“Good evening Denver!” Cue screams. “Now, I’m sure you’re all smart so tell me, who can spot the difference with tonight’s performance?”

“Berry, Berry, Berry.” Was chanted in reply to my question. Nothing gets past our fans.

“Very well done. I’m sure you’re all expecting an explanation as to why our normal drummer is missing. You see, she had a . . . accident and ended up in hospital a few days ago. I’m sorry to say she came out a little beat up, and so the doctors said she wasn’t allowed to play for a week or so. Synyster Gates, being her caring and protective fiancé, has also banned her from the stage. Can I get an ‘awwh’?” Sure enough, the crowd did as I said. “Now let’s break that rule and bring her out here!”

Sophie stumbled on the wires as she made her way out. Typical. Every time that girl gets called on stage she always trips. And as usual, the whiteboard was gripped tightly in her hands. She had a message written on it for them as well. This should be amusing.

♫ Matt likes to wear dirty underwear!

I felt myself roll my eyes at her as she held the board out for the crowd to read, laughter spreading like a Mexican wave. She quickly rubbed the board clean, correcting herself by the looks of it.

♫ Matt Berry likes to sniff dirty underwear!

Even Jason was cracking up at this. I pulled Sophie back from the side of the stage so I could read the message aloud for everyone to hear. Once again, Sophie corrected the message ever so slightly.

When Matt Berry appeared at the side of the stage, she held it up for him to read. He shook his head and ran forwards. Sophie was slung over his shoulder in an instant and she was marched away. I caught a glimpse of what she had written;

♫ Matt likes to sniff dirty underwear! *Cheeky smile*

Bless her. And she was scrawling desperately as she was carried away.

Brian! Save me!

I chuckled to myself before signalling for the rest of the band that we could now continue.

*

“Layla!” Zacky sang as they walked off stage. He was in for it.

“Who the hell just sung my name?” She glared at the five guys, waiting for the doomed to speak up.

“Look what I got you, oh lovely wife-to-be of mine.”

Zacky opened his arms to reveal numerous thongs and bra’s hung from them. Layla’s jaw hit the floor at the sight.

“Ew! Zack that is gross! I don’t want skanky underwear.” Zack looked hurt by this.

“But, they can be washed. And I asked the crowd especially for them because I know you don’t like it when I spend lots of money on you. Besides, some of them are rather sexy.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Layla who still looked dumbfounded by his gesture.

Sophie suddenly appeared, with her whiteboard. She grabbed two of the things from Zack. She threw one at Shadows, which hit him straight round the face, and dangled the other in front of Matt Berry’s nose.

Look! Dirty underwear for Matt to wear! . . . And dirty underwear for other Matt to sniff!

“Has she had her pain killers?” Brian asked cautiously, ignoring the two sets of evils Sophie was receiving and the laughter from the rest of us.

I’m all dosed up for tonight. In about an hour I’ll be able to fall asleep too.

Sophie scribbled on her whiteboard seeing as no one else either knew, or couldn’t reply because of laughing.

“In other words, she has totally OD’d, Brian.” Jenn giggled.

Brian shook his head in disbelief. It really was like he was becoming her father, not her fiancé. She skipped towards him, and was pulled into a hug. There was no love lost between them, surprisingly. We all heard her shout at him yesterday.

I jumped onto Matt’s back, and then urged him forward out of the stage exit. Time to face the fans. I have a bad feeling we’re all going to be quizzed on Sophie’s ‘accident’.

The thong that had been thrown at him was now hanging off his shoulder. Picked it up cautiously, in case it hadn’t been washed before it was launched on stage, and pulled it down over Matt’s head. I felt him tense up. This was too much fun!

“Pippa take that butt-floss off of my head now, please.”

“Mmm, but you just look so hot with a thong on your head.” I giggled in his ear.

“You won’t look hot when I drop you.” He warned.

“M. Shadows, you kill joy.” He chuckled lightly, causing my body to vibrate slightly from the movement of his torso.

“No, see if it were you with it on, properly . . . and nothing else, then I’d be all for it.”

“Not gonna happen, bub.” I dug my knees into his side, forcing him forward. “Giddy up horsey!” I cried.

Where’d that come from? I totally out retarded myself! The look on everyone else’s faces seemed to reflect my own thoughts.