The Downsiders

I coughed at the sent that filled my nose. Whiskey and it was strong. This is the main reason why I don’t drink. I can’t stand the smell or taste. Just the sent makes my stomach turn. My father was in is desk chair lounging if you wanted to call it. It was from the alcohol though. But he would never admit and I would never say anything about in front of him in his current state or any other time.

I don’t know why I decided to ask my father to borrow one of their cars. Asking either of my parents isn’t the best idea. I should have just kept my mouth shut. And just walk or call Collin up and ask him, he would be fine with picking me up as he said earlier. I was nervous now. There was no turning back so I had to deal.

“Ummm….Dad, would it, would it be alright if I borrowed one of the cars tomorrow to drive to work?” My breath was shaky and it was caused by nervousness. I knew at this moment that I was not going to get one of the cars. I knew it from the moment the whiskey hit my nose. I was doomed and there was no backing out of it now. I realize, yeah, I could have just left the room when I knew it was a no go. But then he would call me back in here and demand why I had dared to bother him.

“What? You want to borrow a car? Don’t you have a job that pays money?” His words were slurred uncontrollably by the liquor. “Money you could buy your own car with. Or…or is it that damn place that sucks all up all of your cash?” He cocked an eyebrow; I knew he wanted an answer. But I was going to say anything because I know that if I were to open my mouth right now this would end uglier than it would already. “So…?”

Damn he’s got me cornered.

“Yes. Yes I have a job with a paycheck.” I bit the inside of my cheek. I wanted to say so much more but I knew better.

“And where is that money? Spent at that club? And that man. A grown man running a club. You know what I think he runs that club because he didn’t know how to grow up. He needs to get a job a REAL man has.” He spat venomously at me. Wait, did he just insult Henry? Henry was more of a father figure to me then he ever is or will be.

“DO NOT insult Henry! He has been more of a father to me than you have. You’re always gone. And if you’re home you’re sleep or working on some god damn project in here while drinking whiskey to your heart’s content.” I was fuming and I was surely not going to let this go. I knew I ought not to say anything but he insulted my replacement dad.

He looked at me. His eyes were wide. I don’t know if it was because I was yelling back for once or what I had just confessed. Maybe, once again it was the alcohol. His mouth opened and then closed once again. Like he was carefully choosing his words, right, like that was happening.

“I want you to stay away from that place.” He had suddenly sobered up and was talking calmly. “And your ‘friends’ also, those boys. I have no idea what you are doing with them. You are a young lady and they are young men. I want you to stay away from the club and your ‘fiends.’ Got it?” He was being dead serious too. He actually had the nerve to use finger quotations every time he said the word friends. “You may go.” I was not leaving quite yet.

“No.” I said it simply and quietly. I wasn’t going to stay away from my makeshift family. They were better than my biological ones. “I will not stay away from them. They are my family; they treat me a whole better than I am treated around here. All that matters to you and mother is work. GOD DAMN FUCKING WORK!” I was furious, angry, whatever word you want to use to describe it, I was there. Tears were falling freely from my face now. I was done, I’ve had enough. “I’m gone now.”

I left the room to come face to face with my mother. She was one of the last people I wanted to see right now. Her face was shaped into confusion, not sympathy, confusion.

“What in God’s name is going on here?” She asked agitated. “I need some peace and quiet so I can get some work done. That’s all I am asking, some peace and quiet.” I brushed past her quickly, not caring whether or not I bumped into her. I made it down the hallway, almost to my room.

“GOD DAMN FUCKING WORK! Is that all what matter’s in this house? Honestly?” I screamed before wrenching my door open and slamming it shut. This was the end of the line. I flung myself on to my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I screamed loudly. I didn’t care if the neighbors heard. Maybe they’ll bust me outta of this fucking hell hole. That’s what I’ll do.

I went to my closet and pulled my backpack suitcase thingy out. Then went to my dresser grabbed some panties, bras and other various undergarments. Then headed back to my closet got a few pairs of pants down from hangers folded them better and laid them in the bag. Then grabbed about 5 or 6 shirts and folded them and laid them too in the bag.

Next I got all my other stuff. Toothbrush, tooth paste, brush, straightening iron, stuff like that. I threw it all in my bag. I was about to zip up my bag when I realized I needed a few hoddies and pjs. I didn’t know where I was going or long I was going to be there. So I was just trying to be prepared. Once I was all done I double checked my room making sure I didn’t forget anything important. I grabbed my purse off my bed and was set to go.

I was good, so I opened my door and shut it behind me. I made sue it was locked so my parents couldn’t barge in when ever they wanted. I figured out how to do it a few years ago when I started sneaking out with Rick, Collin and Joey Joe. I walked down the hall way once again. My purse on my shoulder and my bag at my side. As I walked past my father’s den I noticed his door was wide open which was unusual, but I noticed my mother in there talking calmly, for once, with my father. He called after me.

“Where do you thing you’re going?”

“I honestly do not know, but it is away from this damn house.” I replied with no remorse as I stepped onto the stair way. I heard my mother rush to the door of the den.

“Wait, Jane, don’t….” She trailed off once she realized I didn’t give a hoot. I had finally reached the front door. My mother and father were both half way down the stair case. Watching me as they followed my path.

“I don’t know when I will be back for my things.” With that I took the handle of the front door and slammed it with all the might my petite body could conjure up. I set off down my street. Well, fake street seeming I lived in a development. I let my feet guide me. I just walked I had no idea where I should go. I could go to Collin’s house. I was always welcomed there, his parents said so. But I don’t think they would want another teenager in their house. They already had so many kids. My next idea was Henry. No, not his house. I never knew what band was sleeping on his floor so I didn’t feel like sharing the couch with some drunken bassist.

Rick and Joey Joe’s house. They always said I was allowed to come home with them and crash if I didn’t want to go home. So that’s where I am headed. I looked up at the street sign of the corner I had just arrived at. I was only about 7 blocks away from their house. They lived in a house that had been in Rick’s family for generations. His grandmother had left it to him when she died. He was only 17 at the time but once he was 18, he moved in. Then Joey Joe joined his shortly there after. They were good friends through out high school. So when Joey Joe got kicked out of his last apartment Rick offered a room.

I hummed while I walked. I don’t know what song it was, but it was real familiar. I liked it, but yet again I wanted to know what I was humming. It took my mind off of everything, trying to figure out what I was humming. I hit the next street and the first step I had on the actually street it started to rain. Nothing too heavy but it wasn’t the lightest either. I set my bag down quickly and unzipped it. I grabbed my favorite hoodie, my From First to Last one, and pulled it on. I figured it would keep me a little dryer and warmer.

“Great. Just Great.” I walked a little faster. I looked at the street sign on the corner on a few blocks to go. 1 or 2 can’t remember the order of the streets. But it wasn’t very far. I came upon the house it was a strange colored house. It was like a mixture of a dingy yellow and brown. It is truly hard to explain, but it worked with the house. What I am saying is that it didn’t look out of place.

The front porch light was on for some reason. It cast light out onto the porch. I saw Joey Joe and Rick moving about the house. I knocked on the white front door. Softly but hard enough to where someone heard and was coming to the door. I knew it was Rick answering the door because the outline.

As he opened the door his head was turned and facing towards Joey Joe and the rest of the house. He was smiling; I loved it when I caught his smile. Rick soon turned around his expression turning from happiness to confusion and compassion.

“Jane, what are you doing here?” I saw Joey Joe coming to the door now. I opened my mouth slightly read to give an answer.

“Hey. Who’s here?” Joey Joe asked. He reached the door and saw me standing there. “Oh, hey Jane! Why are you here?”

“I asked her that already and she was about to answer when you rudely interrupted like usual.” Rick retorted. He rolled his eyes at Joey Joe.

“You’re all wet. Get in here. Then you can explain.” Joey Joe already turned around heading back into the cozy house. Rick moved back letting me in. As I entered his house he put his hand on the small of my back. He gently closed the door behind me. I felt the pressure of my bag being lifted from my hand a turned to find Rick taking it from me. Then his hand on my shoulder taking my purse too, he sat them down on a little bench just inside the door.

I smiled at him as he did this. He was such a gentleman. Next time I see his mom I’ll have to tell her that, that she raised an incredible man. I whispered a quite “Thank you.” Collin and Joey Joe are always giving him shit about being so nice. Personally I like it. He whispered back in my ear, “You’re welcome.”

He led me to the sofa and I sat down next to Joey Joe who was already sitting. Rick sat to my right, so I was between the two of them on the couch. I pulled off my hoodie with the help of Joey Joe. I couldn’t stay in it; it was wet from the rain. He got up and went to hang it up somewhere. I turned to Rick.

“Is it okay if I stay here for at least tonight?” I asked him I looked right into his beautiful green eyes. I couldn’t see the color all too well. The only light in the room was from the kitchen. All the sudden the light on the ceiling was turned on.

“There, better?” Joey Joe stood by the opposite his hand on a light switch. I looked back towards Rick. His eyes showed bright. The green was a deep forest green color. I loved the color. Joey Joe made his way back to the couch where Rick and I still sat.

“Of course Jane. You know when ever you want to stay over you want.” He stopped; he smiled at me, but kept his lips tight. “For how ever long you need to. You can, you’ve always known that.” I whispered a shaky “Thanks” to him. There was something about him right now that just screamed at me.

“So babe, what brings you here at…?” Joey Joe stopped and looked to the kitchen for the clock. He strained his eyes to read the time. “10:53 at night?”

“Well, I got into a fight with my Dad and my mother wasn’t helping the situation any more. So I got fed up, back a bag and left. I walked here and now I am explaining to you guys what happened.” I was looking at Joey Joe when I said this. He gave a small weak smile and slowly nodded his head.

“What did you fight about?” Rick had startled me. His voice had been soft and delicate before, but now it was back to its normal powerful self. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to shake you up.” He replied a little sheepishly, his voice down a few notches. His hand on my upper arm, trying to somewhat comfort me.

“No, it’s okay. I….I asked if I could borrow a car tomorrow so I could drive to work instead of bumming a ride off of Collin, which he said was fine.” They looked at me with confused looks. “Collin said it was okay with him to give me ride.” They both nodded in understandment. “At first when I got home, my parents had been fighting because my mom was working and here eyes were red and everything. So I got a little mad at her and just went upstairs.”

I took a deep breath to steady myself; I don’t know why I was getting so upset about this. I was now sitting Indian style on the couch. Rick was sitting normal but he was slightly turned to face me. While Joey Joe was sitting like me but he was totally facing towards me.

“After I set my stuff down in my room I went back own the hall to his den. I knocked and he said come in so I did. As soon as I walked in I smelled the whiskey, just like every other time they fight.” I took a deep sharp breath in. Joey Joe’s face twisted.

“He didn’t hit you? Or anything else did he?” His voice was real soft and concerned. I had never heard Joey Joe’s voice like this before. I felt Rick get up on the other side.

“No, no, no, no, no, never, no.” I said rather quite quickly.

“If he did you would tell us, right?” It was Rick that spoke this time. His voice was loud but had a concerned and protective tone to it.

“I would so tell you guys…geesh.” I was getting irritated with their “protect the female of the tribe” thing, as Henry and I call it.

“Remember Rick, she don’t take no shit from anybody.” A gave a snobby glare at Joey Joe for the last comment and turned around to look at Rick again. He was smiling once again and I caught a glimpse of it. One of these days I am so gonna see his full smile, I guarantee it.

“I think this is a situation that needs hot coco. Anybody else want some?” Rick was walking towards the kitchen as he asked us.

“Of course. You know I would take Hot Coco any day of the year.” Joey Joe was like a little child, he was bouncing up and down in his spot on the couch. I faced Rick and smiled while I nodded my head in agreement. I heard random cupboards opening along with the fridge being opened. I then heard the clinking of mugs and buttons being pressed on the microwave. “Can you hear us in there Rick?” I heard a faint “Yea.” So I continued.

“So anyways I asked to borrow a car and he said ‘Don’t you have a job that pays money that you could but your own car with?’” Joey Joe snorted in disgust next to me. “I said yes, that I have a job that pays. Then next he said ‘and all that money is spent at the damn club right?’ I didn’t answer him cause I know I would’ve said more that I ought to. Then he insulted Henry, so I yelled back. Saying that Henry was more of a father than he had ever been to me. After that he was a little shocked and he sobered up quick.

“Then he told me to stay away from you guys ands the club then he told me I could go. I simply responded no then went on how all that mattered to them was work. Then I stormed off and backed a bag.” I nodded behind me towards my bag where Rick had placed it. “I then took off, my mom tried to stop me but I wasn’t gonna listen. At first I didn’t know where to go. But then I remembered that Rick had offered a place here if I ever needed one.”

“Oh baby, come here.” Joey Joe leaned and gave me a hug. Rubbing up and down the length of my back as we hugged. “You know we are always here for you. And….and you stay here for as long as you need. This place could use more than just two guys. A lady’s touch would be wonderful.” I pulled away and looked at Joey Joe. He was so weird some times. I smiled warmly at him as Rick entered again with Hot Coco.

He handed Joey Joe a mug then to me, and finally he sat back down next to me. We sat in silence for a few moments while we all sipped on your coco. I heard and felt Joey Joe repositioning himself beside me.

“We should watch a movie.” Joey Joe broke the silence. I turned to him and cocked an eyebrow, something I did quite frequently.

“Dude, we have to help Henry tomorrow and don’t you have to work tomorrow Jane?” I turned to face Rick as he spoke. I did want to watch a movie but he did have a point.

“Yeah, JJ. I’d love to but it’s almost quarter to 12. I have to work at 9 so I have to be up at like 7:30.” He sighed and he looked off towards the wall like he was thinking.

“Nightmare.” Was all he said, and very excitedly too. A smile slowly widen on my mouth I knew what he was thinking, it was my favorite and his too. And it wasn’t that long of a movie clocking at like 76 minutes. I turned to face Rick. He was going to be the one to convince.

“Please man. You know you love that movie and so do we. It isn’t very long. Pleeeeaaase?” I gave him my pout lip thing I do when I want my way. He sighed; I then threw in my puppy dog eyes and whimpered.

“Fine! Let’s watch it. Damn, I seriously can not resist Jane’s puppy dog eyes. You guys win.” Joey Joe jumped up off the couch.

“I’ll get the movie in. Rick you get the popcorn cuz you know how to make it perfect. And Jane, you get comfy.” We all nodded and did what we had to do. I went to my bag and got a pair of purple sweatpants out. I started to undue my pants right there in the front room. Yes, in front of guys. They had seen me in my bathing suit, so how different are panties? I heard a whistle.

“Rick, get in here. Quick! Jane’s stripping.” He said while laughing. I rolled my eyes at him and continued to do what I was doing. I walked back to the couch once I had changed my pants.

“Such a horn dog, JJ.”

“What? I’m a male and you’re a female, it’s natural.” He smirked at me and joined me back on the couch. Just then Rick walked back into the front room with a big bowl of popcorn and he had also changed into green plaid pajamas. Rick flicked the lights off. He sat down next to me and handed the popcorn over to Joey Joe as he pushed play on the remote.

I then grabbed a small handful of popcorn form the bowl; I really didn’t like it that much, unless it was kettle corn. That was my favorite. I wrapped my legs underneath me and snuggled up to Rick. He put his arms around my shoulders and gave me a quick squeeze. As if he was saying everything would be alright.