Booze, Boys, and Buses

I sighed as I opened my cell phone. I was afraid of who was going to answer, and to my worst assumption, it was Jimmy. He sounded way to chipper for me to even fathom what would happen to my grandmother if she came home and he was there.

“Jim, put Kacie on the phone right now.” I ordered, growing angry with his inability to follow through with my request.

“No.” He said…again.

“Jimmy, I swear on my life that if you don’t give her the phone right now, I’ll rip off your most tender tattoo.” I smiled at the fact that I knew where that tattoo happened to be. I’d seen it that day on tour when he went to the bathroom right in front of me.

“How did you know about that…”

“Now!” I shouted, speeding up a little.

“Calm down Cassandra.” My Nana said, placing her hand on my arm.

I sucked in a deep breath and looked at her. “Ok.”

“Hello?” Came the voice of Kacie.

“Oh good it’s you. Please try to get everyone out of there, and make sure that the house looks decent. We’re going to be there in a little bit.” I said, just imagining Nana’s expression when she saw a messy house full of completely insane rock stars.

“Will do Cass.” She said, hanging up.

Thank god for Kacie, if I had brought my Nana home to that mess, I would have had to kill off a few members of A7X.

“Matthew, you have such a beautiful home.” My grandmother said as Matt helped her out of the vehicle.

“Thank you, but please, call me Matt.” He said, giving her a warm smile. My eyes welled up as Matt brought my grandmother’s things into the living room and sat them down on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, walking over to me and cupping my face in his hands.

“Nothing, you’re just being so nice to her and I love it.” I said, smiling.

He scrunched his brow and then rolled his eyes at me. “You and your silly hormones.”

I laughed and walked off to the kitchen. I suppose it was time for something to eat. I was craving a ham, cheese, and pickle sandwich.

“How do ham, cheese, and pickle sandwiches sound?” I called out to the living room.

“Just fine dear.” My Nana said in response.

Matt walked into the kitchen.

“So why can’t you cook something?” He asked, raising that damned eyebrow of his.

“Because I am tired. If you would like to grace us all with your cooking everyday from now on be my guest, but as far as I’m concerned, I deserve a break!” I shouted, a little more harshly than necessary.

“Woah babe chill, I was just kidding. What is with you? One second ago you were gonna flood my living room, now you’re blowing up at me. Is this PMS?” He asked, raising his arms up in defense.

“Yeah probably. I’m due to start any day now.” I explained, running my hands through my hair. I turned around and opened up the fridge. I pulled out a beer and tossed it to Matt. “Go offer my grandmother something to drink.”

“Why can’t you?” He asked, looking at me like I was an idiot.

“Because this is your house! Now go!” I shouted, pointing in the direction of the living room.

Matt sipped his beer and walked off. As I began getting out the supplies I needed to make the sandwiches, my actions became clear to me. I had been completely rude to Matt, and for no reason. I walked into the living room and made sure that my grandmother wasn’t around. Matt was sitting on the couch. I walked behind the couch and pressed my lips to his neck.

“I’m sorry for being such a bitch.” I said, beginning to suck gently.

He groaned. “Keep that up and we’re going to have to bring your grandmother back to the airport.”

I smiled against his neck and then became completely erect when I heard the door my grandmother cough from behind me. I slowly turned and gave her an innocent smile and then walked off to the kitchen. I heard her following me.

“What was that in there?” She asked, her eyes burning a hole in my back.

I pulled out some slices of bread and began taking out some ham before I answered. “He’s my boyfriend Nana, what do you expect?”

“I expect that you don’t do that around me. In my mind you’re still the little girl that runs from imaginary monsters and trips over her own feet.” She said, waving a finger at me.

“Ok, I’m sorry. You know I did look around first to see if you were looking. You weren’t meant to see.” I laid a slice of ham over one of the pieces of bread.

“Well, try to be a little more cautious.” She patted my back and I heard her walk into the living room.

“Oh yeah Cass, by the way, tomorrow’s game night here!” Matt called into the kitchen from the living room.

“What’s that mean?” I asked, confused.

“That means you and I have a lot of cooking to do tomorrow.” He said, I heard the couch squeak as he stood.

He emerged into the kitchen and sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”

“Because I forgot. I happened to pass GSN on the television and then I remembered. I’m sorry.” He said, pouting.

“Geez Matt. It’d be nice for you to remember something for once.” I stopped when I remembered, he’s a guy. Guys don’t remember anything except what a vagina is and what you’re supposed to do with it. At times, that was a very good thing to remember. “What does everyone want? Couldn’t we just order pizza?”

He kissed me on the cheek. “That is why I love you, you’re so damn smart.”

I laughed, “You’re damn right.”

* * *

It was five minutes before everyone was due to arrive. I’d already explained that we all had to be somewhat mellow in order to not disturb the nerves of my poor Nana. I knew that was easier said than done for a few of our Avenged members. The first, and the member that had me worried the most, Jimmy came waltzing in.

“Are you bitches ready to Scattergory?” He shouted, holding the red box out in front of his face.

“What did you just say?”

The look my grandmother gave Jimmy should’ve killed him, but she was merciful enough to let him live, for now. I rolled my eyes at her and then walked into the kitchen.

“Ah!” He shouted, covering himself with the Scattergories box.

I laughed at him. “You guys are ok with pizza right? Matt sort of surprised me with game night this morning.”

A series of “Yeahs,” and “Sures” came from the whole crew. I clapped my hands together happily and walked over to the pantry where at the bottom Matt kept paper plates. I pulled them out and un-wrapped the plastic from around it.

“You guys can…use…these. Hey! I was getting out paper plates!” I shouted at Jimmy, slapping his hand which was holding onto a large slice of greasy pizza.

With just his luck, it flew and hit my grandmother’s blouse. “Your name is Jimmy right?” She asked, pointing at him.

He nodded, his eyes were wide. “Yes ma’am.”

“I’ve got my eye on you.” She said, pointing to her eyes and then him.

He gulped. “I’ll keep that in mind ma’am.”

When my grandmother left the room, Jimmy heaved a huge sigh. The whole room erupted into laughter. I don’t think anyone had seen Jimmy this scared. Not even Leana.

“Don’t worry, she warm up to you. You just have to play it nice, and don’t forget to praise the lord Jesus.” I reminded him, pointing an accusing finger.

“Meaning we won’t be using Johnny’s stage name tonight?” Lacey suggested, raising the ‘so last year’ eyebrow.

“Correct.” I confirmed, continuing to hand out paper plates, but I stopped before I gave one to Jimmy. “You clean up that pizza.”

“No! You’re the one that made me drop it!” He shouted, glaring at me.

“Pick it up or I’ll sick Nana on you.” I warned, grinning at the opportunity to use my grandmother as a weapon of mass destruction.

Jimmy picked up the pizza and then grabbed a paper towel. He wiped the grease off of the floor and then proceeded to throw away the paper towel. He then held his hand out for a paper plate.

“Say please.” I said, holding my head up high.

He sighed loudly. “Please?”

“Sure.” I smiled and handed him the plate.

He had no idea just how good this was. Once we got the game all set up and some new batteries in the buzzer, we all sat around the table to play Scattergories. Thank goodness two of the other couples brought in more games of Scattergories or else five people would have been sitting out. And the game was on. The first letter was J. Category one: A boy’s name. I put down Jimmy. I’m sure I wasn’t going to be the only one, but oh well. At the end of this round, I could have passed out laughing at everything Jimmy had come up with. For a boy’s name, he put Jesus, and for something cold, he said juice that Jesus put on this earth for us to drink. He tried to get double points for that one. My grandmother gave him some odd looks.

* * *

“She’s going to kill me!” Jimmy shouted, jumping from his seat quickly.

We all watched him run from his seat and off into the kitchen. I jogged over to see where he was running to. He tripped over the rug in the living room. He stood back up and looked around. He was a little disoriented. Once he collected himself he jumped over the couch, but fell doing that as well. I rubbed my temples and shook my head.

“Oh Jimmy, what are we going to do with you?” I asked, laughing again.

You see, Jimmy winked at my grandmother, making her look at him a little funny. Then he asked her if she wanted the official family welcome into Avenged Sevenfold. I shook my head no at her, but she is a curious woman. She said, yes. Jimmy had told her to close her eyes. Then he kissed her. That’s when he began to run, flailing his arms all over the place.

“James! You come here right now!” She shouted, walking over to the couch.

When he stood up, his hair was in all directions. “Sorry.”

She grabbed him roughly by the ear and pulled him down close to her. “Touch me like that again, and you won’t be drumming for a very, very long time.”

The scariest thing was that I knew she meant it. I nodded at Jimmy to let him know that she wasn’t kidding. I wished that she was, that was a little harsh. I don’t know why he felt the need to kiss her anyhow if he knew that she didn’t like him.

“Why did you do that anyhow?” Leana asked, as if reading my mind.

“Because I thought she would like me a little better if I gave her a free membership into the Avenged family.” He said, smiling, but then frowning.

He was acting just like a little kid. “Alright, well, I guess that we’re leaving. Jim, let’s go.”

“I’m sorry Nana.” Jimmy said, as he and Leana left the house.

“Bye.” Everyone said in unison.

“And good riddance.” My Nana said.

“Nana!” I scolded.

“What? It’s all in good fun. Anyway, I’m going to bed now. Goodnight kids, don’t stay up too late.” She said, walking over to the stairs.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. I seemed to be doing a lot of eye rolling lately. I guess a lot of occasions have called for it. Matt had a good eye on my grandmother before she disappeared. I scrunched my brow in confusion.

“Who’s up for some strip Sorry!?” Matt asked, picking Sorry! up off the coffee table.

“Matt, my nana is right upstairs.” I warned, slapping his chest.

“So, is she a heavy sleeper?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Very.” I said, smiling.

“Oh, then we could have more fun than just strip poker.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Not tonight. I’m going to be too tired.” I said, turning and walking into the kitchen. “How do you play strip Sorry! anyhow?” I asked, turning around.

“Every time you get sent back to start, or you get a four, an article of clothing comes off.” He said, grinning as he looked me up and down.

“Alright I’ll make a deal with you horn dog. If I win, I pick what we do tomorrow. If you win, you pick what we do tomorrow.” I said.

“You mean at night?” He asked. I nodded, folding my arms over my chest. “Ok, deal.”

He shook my hand and then we set up the board on the table. “We’re going to have to pair up.” Kacie said.

“Oh!” Matt said, holding his finger in the air.

“Oh! He has and idear!” I joked, imitating Matt.

“We’ll pull out of a hat to see who pairs up with who! And then when it’s time for clothing removal, the people have to take the clothes off of each other!”

In the end of the hat drawing, I got stuck with your lovely Zack. Kacie got paired up with Lacey, which I guess isn’t too bad. Michelle was paired with Johnny, and the brilliant scientist who thought up this plan, was stuck with your ever so wonderful Synyster Gates. The room erupted into laughter when Matt pulled Brian’s name out of the hat.

“I call a redo.” He said, holding his finger in the air again.

“I wouldn’t hold your finger in the air like that babe, that’s what got you in trouble last time.” I laughed along with everyone else.

The guys set the game pretty quickly. I took my seat next to Zack. Looking over at him I smiled slightly. He pulled a side smirk and wiggled his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the board.

“Hey! Don’t you get any ideas Mr. Vengeance!” Kacie shouted, tossing one of her pegs at him.

“Ow! Keep calling me Mr. Vengeance and hitting me, we may end up having to do some role playing tonight.” He winked at Kacie.

She didn’t say anything, just winked at him and smiled back. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t know that you guys were going at it these days.” I said, looking at Kacie with a look of awe on my face.

“Well, it wasn’t meant to happen, but he did that whole thing you know?” She said, shuffling some of the cards. “Ah well, I’ll tell you about it some other time.”

“Ok, man, I thought you guys were never going to do it.” I said, putting my and Zack’s players in the home.

And the game is on. No one got sent home for a while, but I jumped excitedly when I sent one of Matt and Brian’s players home.

“Who do you want to take their clothes off?” Leana asked, looking at both the guys with her hand on her chin.

“Let me discuss it with my partner in crime first.” I said, placing a hand on Zack’s back.

“I think Syn should take off Matt’s clothes.” He said, grinning sheepishly.

Matt stuck his tongue out at Zack and me, and then he gave us both the finger. Brian was too funny playing it up the way he did. Brian started dancing sexily while rubbing his hands up and down Matt’s torso. Matt slapped him in the face.

“Ow! What was that for?” He asked, rubbing his cheek.

“Just get it over with already!” Matt shouted, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, no kidding Haner! That’s my job!” I shouted, pointing a threatening finger in his direction. “You can take off his clothes, but nothing more.”

Brian rolled his eyes and muttered something inaudible. He slowly lifted Matt’s shirt over his head. I felt my heart leap at the sight of his bare chest. Too bad my Nana was here, or Matt and I would have to take the strip sorry game to the bedroom.

“Babe!” Matt yelled, looking at me.

“What?” I yelled right back.

“It’s your turn to get a card.” He said, slapping his hand down on the deck.

“Ok thank you Matthew, I don’t think I could have found that on my own. It’s so nice of you to help me.” I said sarcastically, grabbing a card and pulling it off of the deck.

My heart cascaded down my stomach, into my legs, and crashed at my feet. I slapped a card holding the number four on the table. Some “Oohs,” and “ahs,” came from everyone around me, followed by some erupting laughter. I rolled my eyes.

“You guys are horrible.” I said, I could feel my face flush.

“When you get a four, the room votes on who has to take their clothes off.” Lacey explained, grinning.

“Ok then, vote and get it over with. Starting with me.” I said, sighing when all but one hand went up.

“Matt, you want your girlfriend taking off Zack’s clothes?” Kacie asked, giving Matt and questioning look.

“Kacie, you want your boyfriend taking off Cassandra’s clothes?” Matt mocked, keeping his hand down.

“Alright, have at her.” Johnny said, looking at me intensely.

Zack started by running his hands from my collar bone, down my breasts, and onto the bottom of my shirt. He gripped it firmly and pulled up. I raised my hands in the air so he could get it off more easily. All the guys in the room started giving me some wolf whistles.

“Zachary James Baker. If you ever touch her like that again, I will rip your gay dick off.” Matt warned, glaring at Mr. Baker.

“I happen to know he has a straight dick. But yes, Zachary, I have to agree with Matt, I’m the only girl you’re allowed to touch like that.” Kacie warned, raising both eyebrows at him.

“Yes dear.” He said, sighing.

I covered myself and shivered slightly. It was going to be a long night.