Secrets Are Hard To Keep

Nick had said his goodbyes for the night and tomorrow. He was working all day doing interviews and sound checks so he had no time for me. I had arranged to spend the day with Maya when she arrived though so at least I wouldn’t be handed my brothers for the day.

Dinner was amazing. I was so full from a starter and main that Nick and I only shared a desert. We had our own private section of one of the thirty or so restaurants and the service was first hand. Alone time with Nick was precious to me because I knew how quickly things could go wrong from past experiences.

Sleep came to me easily. I had done a lot today so I was tired. During the night I had pulled off my pyjamas and turned on the AC, it was still very humid outside even during the dark hours.

A knock on the door stirred me but it faded away. Seconds later a louder knock occurred, I groaned and rolled over in my bed planting my face into the pillows. Another knock. “What the fuck?” I shouted and threw my legs over the side of the bed.

I stumbled through my bedroom, unable to see anything I rubbed my eyes. I felt my face connected with the floor, “Ow.” I groaned and picked my self back up. I stomped over to the door and swung it open. “Ah.” I exclaimed as the light flooded my eyes. I focused on what was stood in front of me, “Joe?”

“S-sorry, did I wake you?” His voice sounded… different. I stared at his face trying to put two and two together. His cheek glistened when he turned his head to glance down the corridor.

“Joe, are you… crying?” I put my hands either side of his shoulders.

“Can I come in?” I nodded and let him pass me. I quickly closed the door and followed him in, he was sat on my sofa holding onto a pillow.

“I’ll get you a glass of water, okay?” I didn’t wait for a reply. I jogged into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I poured some of it into a glass and hurried back to Joe.

I held it out for him and watched him drink it. His hands were shaking slightly. I crossed my arms across my stomach and realised I was in my underwear. I blushed red and scurried quietly away to my bedroom, I slipped on a t-shirt and a pair of black shorts and ran back to Joe.

I sat down next to him and pulled him towards me. I cradled him into me and stroked his hair as he held onto me tightly. He wasn’t hysterical he was just crying which made things difficult to work out. I was dying to ask him what was wrong but he would tell me when he was ready.

Around ten minutes of me just holding him he sat up away from me and wiped his cheeks. I stared at him incredulously, “Have you ever just needed to cry?” I nodded in reply.

I got onto my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I know exactly what you mean.” I whispered into his ear and he held me tighter.

I sat back down on the sofa and pulled my knees up to my chest. I could feel Joe watching me so I turned to make eye contact with him. He smiled adorably at me and very quickly leaned forward to kiss my cheek, his lips lingered there before the peeled from my suddenly hot cheeks.

“Sorry, maybe the kiss was a bit much.” Joe laughed nervously.

“Nope, the kiss was fine.” I giggled and rubbed my eyes once more. A knock on the door saved me from awkward conversation I hurried to answer it.

“Is Joe here?” Nick croaked and I let out a breath. “He just left.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“You look like you’ve committed a crime.” Nick said raising his eye brows.

I smiled, “Yeah, I robbed a bank earlier… naked. I got arrested for indecent exposure.” I smirked and spun around. Nick followed me to his brother, “Ta-da.” I sung and pointed to Joe.

“What are you doing here?” Nick asked sitting down next to him. I walked into the kitchen leaving them to talk. I hovered close though, close enough to hear.

“Just talking.” Joe replied.

“Well, don’t just talk with my girlfriend in the middle of the night. It’s weird.” I couldn’t help but let a grin appear on my face.

“No it’s not.” Joe retorted, I could imagine the puzzled look on his face.

“Yes it is, just keep away from her. It freaks me out.”

“She’s my friend.”

“But my girl friend first. I’m not accusing you of anything but coming to see her in the middle of the night is weird, admit it.” Nick demanded.

“Okay, it’s a bit weird but—“

“No buts. Go back to the room, I’ll just say night to Julia.” My eyes widened as I heard him approaching. I jumped up onto the counter and sat swinging my legs back and forth, Nick appeared around the corner as gracious as ever. “So…” He sighed spreading my legs and standing between them. “What did Joe want to talk about so badly he had to do it in the middle of the night?”

I smiled down at Nick as he tucked a bit of hair behind my ear for me. “He couldn’t sleep so he came here.” I shrugged, “Nothing over exciting.” I could see Nick watching me carefully for any signs of cracking. “Don’t let your mind skip off to hell and imagine all sorts of things I would never do with your brother.” I warned him and snatching his hands away from the counter he was gripping.

“It just… never mind.” I let out a breath happy that he was letting it pass. “Come here.” He smiled and slid me off the counter. I wrapped my legs around his waist and tangled my hands in his curls. I pressed my face into the crook of his warm neck and sighed as I stared at the creases in his skin.

“Is my neck interesting?”

“As interesting as watching paint dry.” I said sarcastically. “Ah!” I shouted as I felt Nick bite my shoulder. “Did you just bite me?”

“Maybe.” He chuckled and kissed the spot where he bit. “I better get going.” He placed me back on the counter and kissed my cheek. I watched him walk away and stayed in the same spot even as I heard the door click shut.

* * *

My mother woke me up and then spent fifteen minutes lecturing me because I fell asleep on the kitchen top. My shoulder had a small bruise from Nick’s bite so she had another go at me for that too, so all in all my day started off pretty badly.

The sun was making me happy though. The sky was clear and no breeze was apparent in the air so I had tanning oil on and hadn’t moved from my sun bed for over an hour. My iPod blasted Taylor Swift into my ears and all my hair was tied back away from my face. I made sure my bikini straps laid by my sides so I wouldn’t have tan lines, they aren't very attractive.

“I’m surprised you don’t have skin cancer.” My eyes shot open and I was thankful I left my Dior sunglasses on or else my eyes would hurt a lot. I smiled at Maya and I peeled my self off my tanning bed to give her a hug. “No thanks, oil wouldn’t look good on this shirt.” She stripped it off and revealed a red and white polka dot bikini.

“Are you stripping for me?” I teased. She took off her shorts and tossed them in my face.

“In your dreams.” She said jokingly. “Want to go to the beach?”

The beach sounded like heaven. “Yeah.” I spun around to face Dean, “We’re going to the beach.” I told him.

I gathered all my things and we headed down to the beach after sitting for five minutes while security got ready. Maya and I took a few pictures with people who were brave enough to pass in our path and when we arrived at the beach they had a section away from everyone just for us.

“Sun, sun, sun.” I sighed happily as we laid on the warm sand.

I don’t know how long we laid in the sun but girls screaming alerted us that the boys were coming before they even arrived. I think I fell asleep because I thought I was dreaming until I felt Nick’s body across my stomach. I let out a groan and I pushed him off me, I could feel the front of my bikini top slipping down so I quickly pulled my halter back over my head.

“Coming in the sea?” Nick asked pulling me up to my feet. I brushed the sand off my backside and then laid down a towel. I sat on it and began confirming appearances at different places with my agent. I’d been putting off using my Blackberry for too long now, they would be getting very impatient with me. “Right, that’s it!” Nick shouted.

I screamed as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. My Blackberry thankfully didn’t fall in the sand but I was very well aware that Nick was carrying me to the water. “Nick, I’ll kill you.” I said to him in a calm tone.

“I’ll survive.”

“I’m warning you.”

He was now waist high in the water, “Nick! Put her down!” I thankfully heard Denise shout.

“Okay.”

He let go off my legs and I plummeted into the water. I had salt water in my eye when I surface so I couldn’t see properly, but I could hear laughter. I stomped in the direction of the beach and heard Nick coming after me. I rubbed my eye as the sting worsened.

“Sorry, that was mean.” He said stopping me as we were only up to our ankles in water.

“I have salt water in my eye.” I told him and he moved my hands away from my eyes.

“Rubbing it wont help.” I could feel the tears rolling down my right cheek as Nick examined my eye. He pressed his finger at random points then dragged the back of his palm over it. I carefully opened my eye to find it was perfect. I smiled at him.

“You’re forgiven.” I smirked then skipped back over to my towel. “Oh god.” I moaned to my self as I saw the whole of my family coming down to the beach.

“Oh yeah, Denise invited them.” Maya whispered and laughed evilly. “Boo for you.”

“Silence.” I snapped playfully and then laid face down on my towel.

“Victoria, how are you?” Denise said happily. Urgh, they were friends. Wonderful.

I felt turned my head away from my Mum and watched Nick sit down next to me. He pushed my hair out of my face and leaned down to whisper in my ear. “It’s good they’re friends.”

I grumbled an ‘mmm’ in response and he laughed. He sat with his legs out in front of him and one hand on my arm gently rubbing it as I tried to ignore my parents talking to the family of my boy friend.

“Julia, stop lying in the sand.” David shouted to me. Nick grinned at him then down at me and then rolled me over onto my back.

As I listened to my family and the Jonas’s chatter around me my mind wandered.

Such a perfect environment for so many people considered perfect. Perfection is a myth, it doesn’t exist. I’ve had people say I’m perfect and I know I could argue for hours for all the reasons I’m not perfect, but the image that’s been projected onto me was perfection.

But I’m so far from perfection, mistakes chase me like a lion chases a zebra.