Just to Hold You Close and Tight

We sat in silence for a long time. Actually, he was standing, but I was still sitting at my computer. Finally I broke the silence by saying, “Um, do you mind if I answer my friends’ email?”

“Not at all,” he answered, but he continued to look over my shoulder.

A little annoyed, I started to type.

Hey Chelsea, hi Gabby! I’m doing okay. My new house is full of interesting things, -I looked at Ray meaningfully; he was very interesting - and school isn’t that bad. Well, I met this nice guy named Ray, but I’m not sure if he would really be considered a friend.
I miss you too,
Amber

Just when I was about to click the send button, Ray said, “Are you sure you want to tell them about me?”

I shrugged. “It can’t hurt. They don’t know you’re a ghost. Besides, it’s better than telling them I haven’t talked to anybody.”

He just gave me a you-are-the-oddest-person look. I rolled my eyes, clicked send, and said, “Why do you always look at me like that?”

“Because any normal person wouldn’t be able to talk so easily about a ghost. You act as if there’s nothing wrong with me,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I don’t really see anything wrong with you,” I replied. “I mean, it’s not really your fault you’re a ghost.” After thinking it over, I added, “Right?”

“I don’t know,” Ray said thoughtfully. “I’m not really sure why I’m a ghost. I haven’t met any other ghosts to ask.”

“Maybe you have unfinished business,” I said jokingly.

He took it seriously. “I’ve been thinking that’s the case. I wish I knew what it was, so that I could finish it and go to heaven. I know there’s a heaven. I saw it right after I died. Then the next thing I knew, I was looking down at my dead body/”

I was filled with pity. “That’s so horrible. It must suck to be stuck here.”

I was once again surprised when emotion filled his eyes and voice. “It’s terrible. I’ve been going half mad for months. And… watching my parents, my friends, when they got that phone call… I even went to my own funeral once I realized that no one could see me.” Then, just like before, he closed himself up. It bothered me.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. He looked so alone. He was so alone before he met me. “I can see you,” I reminded him.

He smiled, and that satisfied me. “Yes. You can see me. I wonder why that is.”

“Your guess is as good as mine, but I think it takes someone who isn’t noticed to see someone who’s completely invisible.”

“You mean like maybe you can see me because I saw you?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Maybe. Who knows?”

“I don’t,” he said, “but I’m sorry I keep bugging you. It’s just that I haven’t talked to anyone in so long, it’s hard to stay away from you.”

“I noticed,” I replied sourly. “If you’re going to follow me, either be a little more secretive to you don’t creep me out, or, better yet, walk right next to me. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so alone.”

He smiled. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather stay next to you. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel like a stalker.”

“No,” I corrected, “then you wouldn’t be a stalker. Any other way, you’re stalking me.” We both laughed.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said. “I just couldn’t stay away. Being a ghost is kind of boring.”

“Boring!” I echoed, laughing. “You must be kidding!”

He grimaced. “I just wish I was normal.”

“You can start by not sneaking up on me,” I replied.

He smiled sheepishly.