Status: Lost...
Carved My Name
Prologue
Who gets the honors of saying that they truly madly can't stand someone? That they hate that person more than anyone in the entire universe does? That lucky honor belongs to me, Antoinette Kavinstavanti. The Queen of Scotland and the Queen of All Things Penguin-Like.
Five years ago, on December 29, 2002, my best friend Bethany Flora Norris died. At the same time, her little girl Claire Jane Norris was welcomed to dear earth. Sounds like a bittersweet story; but there's more bitterness to add to that bittersweet taste.
There was this guy... I fell for him harder than I should have. I gave him my heart, my trust, my everything. It took us too long to get together. We had feelings of love, and then finally on my twentieth birthday we made things official. Our relationship lasted a couple weeks, before he left for tour and I left to spend holidays with friends.
I thought we left things on equal terms. I trusted him while we were thousand of miles apart. I kept my word, not getting close to men. I listened to the warnings my friends gave me; yet never heeded them.
I wish I did.
I received countless warnings. I dismissed them all. They soon ganged up on me, collaborating with the fears that I pushed away. At the same time, they attacked me. When my mental being was at its most frail state. When my best friend died and I didn't know what to do.
I tried calling him. I got answering message after answering message. Though I don't give up and called him until he reached his limit. I needed him. I needed him more than I ever needed someone. He left me confused and furious. Not caring about the reason I called him so early in the morning for him and so late in the night for me.
I was young at time, barely twenty years old. It felt like I was still nineteen. He took advantage of that. Taking my heart and bending it in all sorts of ways. He reached my maximum limit when cheating on me. He didn't know the girl; she wasn't an old friend or past crush of his. She was just some girl he met on tour.
He didn't tell her about "us". His band mates didn't tell me the truth. They left me in a veil of black. But Bam told me. I didn't have to force it out of him; he told me on his own. That day, he and Ville Valo got on a plane back to the states.
Rather than having the man I loved stand next to me at my best friend's funeral, I had Bam Margera on one side and Ville Valo on the other. The only people I could trust from my life in Helsinki. Aside from Jonne, Henna, Tatiana, and the rest HIM.
I regret the decisions I made at the time. Instead of having my favorite brother protect me, he was against me. I got him to hate me and never want to speak with me. No one else for me to trust but those ridiculous Finnish rockstars.
Five years ago, on December 29, 2002, my best friend Bethany Flora Norris died. At the same time, her little girl Claire Jane Norris was welcomed to dear earth. Sounds like a bittersweet story; but there's more bitterness to add to that bittersweet taste.
There was this guy... I fell for him harder than I should have. I gave him my heart, my trust, my everything. It took us too long to get together. We had feelings of love, and then finally on my twentieth birthday we made things official. Our relationship lasted a couple weeks, before he left for tour and I left to spend holidays with friends.
I thought we left things on equal terms. I trusted him while we were thousand of miles apart. I kept my word, not getting close to men. I listened to the warnings my friends gave me; yet never heeded them.
I wish I did.
I received countless warnings. I dismissed them all. They soon ganged up on me, collaborating with the fears that I pushed away. At the same time, they attacked me. When my mental being was at its most frail state. When my best friend died and I didn't know what to do.
I tried calling him. I got answering message after answering message. Though I don't give up and called him until he reached his limit. I needed him. I needed him more than I ever needed someone. He left me confused and furious. Not caring about the reason I called him so early in the morning for him and so late in the night for me.
I was young at time, barely twenty years old. It felt like I was still nineteen. He took advantage of that. Taking my heart and bending it in all sorts of ways. He reached my maximum limit when cheating on me. He didn't know the girl; she wasn't an old friend or past crush of his. She was just some girl he met on tour.
He didn't tell her about "us". His band mates didn't tell me the truth. They left me in a veil of black. But Bam told me. I didn't have to force it out of him; he told me on his own. That day, he and Ville Valo got on a plane back to the states.
Rather than having the man I loved stand next to me at my best friend's funeral, I had Bam Margera on one side and Ville Valo on the other. The only people I could trust from my life in Helsinki. Aside from Jonne, Henna, Tatiana, and the rest HIM.
I regret the decisions I made at the time. Instead of having my favorite brother protect me, he was against me. I got him to hate me and never want to speak with me. No one else for me to trust but those ridiculous Finnish rockstars.