Reflections

This is not the first time he has come. Nor is it the second. He has been here many times always trying to scare me. I used to be scared but now he is more of a road block on the highway of life. Fuck, he started at a roadblock that has now turned into a full on collision. His name is Gerard. My name is Gerard.He is me. As I am him. The only difference between us is that his hair is never washed. He wears the same black shirt, black skinny jeans, and the same old red tie every single day. He's been like that ever since he found me that night. When he came and found me I knew him all too well. I had heard his voice so many times before that night. I guess it was almost a relief to finally learn that I am crazy.

He was watching me, a cigarette dangled from his pale lips. He was silent which didn't happen often.

"Why?" was all he asked. He knew my answer. He always asked the same question. I already knew what he wanted to know and I always gave him the same answer.

"I don't know, you came to me." the clock in the kitchen continued its slow beat. The dim light radiating from the ceiling lamp burned my eyes. Everything here was depressing.

"We should go out." he said. I couldn't argue, I was like his puppet during a performance, when the performance will end is the question. When he says 'lets go out' he means a bar to get drunk because he is Revenge. He has the make-up and he loves alcohol. So I named him Revenge because I was once him.

In the car he just watched me through those haunting hazel eyes. I drove while he sat beside me. His voice was loud inside my head, he almost never needed to speak.

"Let's go to that place." he pointed out the windshield towards a building with a lime green neon sign that hinted adult entertainment. He loved these sorts of things.

"Revenge I-"

"I want to go there, and so do you," his pale lips turned up in a menacing smile. Just like a puppet, I parked the car and followed him inside. The pounding beat of the music began to drown out his constant speech in my head. The colorful bouncing lights danced with the cigarette smoke that filled the air. I followed Revenge over to the bar. I know he loved alcohol but he never drinks a single drop, he lets me drink and he gains from that.

"Rum and coke." Revenge purred in my ear.

"Rum and coke please." I told the barman. I turned around and glanced over at the dancers wearing bright colored silk with gold and feathers. I heard my drink being slapped behind me so I turned around and thanked the barman who hurried off to fulfill more orders.

"Drink." Revenge smiled. In the beams of light he looked like a monster ready to pounce. His small white teeth showed in an evil grin. I took a sip and let the burning sweet liquid rush down my throat. "More." he ordered. I downed the glass in one go and asked the bartender for another. This carried on throughout the night. A mix between drinking and watching the dancers. Soon he seemed to fade from my thoughts and for once, I felt free and normal again.