Turn The Other Way

I looked at myself in the mirror of my bedroom and soothed my shirt down. Opening my drawer for a pair of socks, a piece of paper caught my eye. I hadn’t remembered having a piece of folded paper in my sock drawer so I grabbed it and opened it.

Do you like the prank? I personally think it’s hilarious. Halloween is this week. Happy Halloween, my dear. I know it’s your favorite holiday.

I won’t tell you who I am. Matt will see you at work, telling you about something.

Just know I love you. I always have and always will.

And I know what you’re thinking. ‘This is creepy,’

Yeah, I know.

I laughed, remembering the prank war that had erupted between us. The girls against the boys. That was a fun time. But a stressful one at that. Matt was the one that had written the letter. The Just know I love you. I always have and always will. Part got to me. How is I could be so stubborn and not see it? I was afraid of him breaking my heart again. I wouldn’t be able to take it. I mean, Matt just hearing me go on a date with a guy sent him crying. Why would it do that? He’s supposed to be a tough guy. He just… he needs to date someone.

Oh… I understand.

Just the thought of Matt going out on a date with someone sent me into extreme jealousy. I didn’t want him to do it.

But… he has to live his own life now. I live across the country from him and we need to have our own lives. It’s time to move on. I’ll never be with him again, so I’m taking the first step forward.

Tonight’s my date with Eli and I’m going to make it a fun night.

Matt

We haven’t had a break from tour since our visit to Lynn. It’s been nonstop. Our next break isn’t until Christmas, and then we only get until New Year’s Day.

In a way it’s been good for me because it keeps my mind focused and away from her.

Yet, so does the alcohol and random groupies.

None of them match up to her, yet I always pick the ones that look the most like her. Like I remember her. The long, dark hair. The vibrant brown eyes, soft, delicate face and the curvy body she’s known for. She’s changed since he moved to Ohio, I know that. I just miss her. I miss her laugh and the way her nervous habits make her the person she is.

It was my turn to drive and I don’t know how well I was doing it. I was zoning in and out, just like I have been for the longest time. I mean… Lynn’s been on a date with another guy. A guy I don’t even know.

Thoughts just flood me. Is he good to her? Does he keep her out of trouble? Does he love her?

Is he like me?

Is he better than me?

I mentally chastised myself. Of course he is better than me. Of course he is not me. Lynn hates everything about me. In her words, ‘I’m done with you!’

I want things to be how they were before the divorce. I constantly replay bits in my mind.

I held Lynn close in my arms, us tangled up in sheets, our nude bodies pressed close together despite the heat that rose between us. We hadn’t been married 24 hours, and we acted like it. We’ve stayed in our house the whole time, skipping the honeymoon completely. We’ve stayed in bed and made love, sleep, eat, shower, and repeat.

“I love you,” I told her, kissing her temple.

Lynn giggled and kissed the tip of my nose. “I love you.”

I softly started humming to her as she traced invisible patterns on my chest.

“You feel that?” I asked her.

“What?”

“My heart.”

“Aww, Matt. You’re so corny!” she played, laughing.

“But do you?” I asked with a smile.

“Yes, and I hear it to.”

“It belongs to you now.”

She smiled, and pulled my hand up to her chest, just above her left breast. “You feel that?” she asked. I nodded. “My heart belongs to you now, also. Please don’t break it.”

“Fuck!” I yelled, banging on the steering wheel, in turn waking everyone in the van up.

“What the hell, dude?!” Jimmy bellowed.

Val knew though. She knew everything.

“I’ll make it work,” she whispered. “It’ll be fine, I promise.”

Lynn

I rushed down the stairs after hearing the knocks on the front door. Eli was behind it, dressed down as normal.

“Hey beautiful!” he said, kissing me on the cheek. I smiled and stepped out. “I take it you’re ready?” I nodded.

“That I am. Let’s go to this place you told me about.”

The drive wasn’t very long, ten minutes at the most. Once parked, we walked into the pub where loud talking, pool playing and music filled the atmosphere along with the smell of cigarettes.

“Would you like a beer?” Eli asked me.

“Sure.” I responded, sitting in a booth.

“Okay. I’ll be right back, okay?”

I nodded and looked around. This place reminded me a whole lot of Johnny’s Bar. I missed that place. It was the first establishment where I got legally drunk.

Those days are long gone.

Eli came back with two beers in hand and rolled in the booth across from me.

“We should play pool,” he said randomly.

I laughed and shook my head. “No, I can’t play.”

“I’ll teach you, let’s go.”

“Just don’t get us kicked out.”

He laughed. “I won’t.”