Creation

It’s the happiest moment so far in my life!
My baby boy is now crying for the first time as Leana leans down on her back, relaxing from all the effort of giving birth to our first son, and her smiling face shows me she is a brave and happy woman. Sure I am also a happy man, with such a pearl as my wife, my companion, my confidant, my lover, my loved princess and so many more things that make my heart rejoice with her presence, her voice or even just a thought of her. Leana…

“I love you” I say in her ear, holding her body tight to me and kissing her sweaty cheek. I look deep in her eyes and smile at her so tired but oh so happy face. My right hand removes her sticky hair from her forehead and I plant a sweet kiss there, with my eyes closed, enjoying the happy atmosphere that soared in the room.

“I love you too Jims” she responds before we both smile at each other. “Thanks for actually being here” I smile even wider and take her hand on mine, lacing our fingers together “and of course for not fainting as you feared.” She laughs slightly.

Yeah sure! I spent the last two weeks in panic, nervous about this moment. One day I confessed to her that I would probably fade out while she was giving birth, or that I would doubtless cry while seeing her in so much pain and not being able to help her. We spent so many time talking about it, reading books and imagining how it would be. We were both sure that it would be a miraculous moment, bringing our first son to life, in pain but after, in happiness. My heart melted as the doctor asked me if I wanted to cut my baby’s navel string, he asked me if I wanted to separate him from my beautiful Leana, and I did. It felt so good, to know that I had contributed for my son to come alive, meet our imperfect world and have a life plenty of good things that me and Leana always wished for him. I felt happy.

I feel happy, damn happy! Leana is now sleeping in her hospital bedroom, with an angelic smile upon her face. She looks as the brightest star in the sky and I feel like the happiest planet in the Universe, with her light illuminating all about me. I remember the day I met her, it was quite fictional – it was so many years ago and no one at that time ever imagined that we would be so happy for all this time! But we are! We’re happy with our companions; we’re happy, living together and sharing every single moment in our life. We’re happy when we are alone at home, whatever we are doing. We’re happy when we are with our friends who have always been so supporting to our relationship and it sure feels damn good – that’s what friends are for, right?

I smile to myself, thinking about how nervous all the guys would have been, if I had told them that our baby was about to be born. After all it was the first A7X baby and we are all gonna be real fathers now! I called only Matt; he wanted to go to the hospital with me, as if it was Val who was giving birth. I laugh at my mental flashback, remembering I told him to calm down, because everything was going okay, he didn’t need to be nervous! “Matt calm down, keep that anxiety to your first baby and come with Val meet me, my beautiful wife and our son early in the morning, okay?” I remember the whole conversation with him, as I held Leana’s hand which was squeezing mine in pain with her last contraction, as the taxi drove us to the maternity. I didn’t call anyone else because Leana was now requiring all my attention with her eyes wide open and gazed with pain. I held her in my arms and let her squeeze my hand for as long as she needed, and she did it until she was taken to the bedroom where she would take a good night of sleep after the birth. She sure looked tired after the baby was born and it would be good to her to get some sleep.

And there she is, sleeping as a baby, her soft face in front of me, as she lies on her side. Her right hand under her cheek, her left hand over her still big belly – I learned not too many days ago that it will take three or four weeks to go back to normal. She looks so peaceful that I don’t think she will mind if I walk out of the room, right to the bathroom and then to the nursery room, where I can see all the recently born babies, some sleeping, others crying a bit as the nurse runs to calm them down. It seems like I have been watching this room for too much time as I feel one hand in my arm. I look and see Matt with Val by his side, what are they doing here? I say nothing but soon enough he answers my mental question.

“We couldn’t wait more time at home” they both smile and I hug them in such a warm embrace. All my heart is happiness now; my baby is born, my wife is healthy and sleeping peacefully, and two of my greatest friends came here in the middle of the night to congratulate me and my beautiful Leana. Leana…

“So, father Jimmy, which one is yours?” Val asks me pointing slightly to the glass that keeps us away from the nursery room. I pointed one out. They all look pretty much the same, in their little beds and blue or pink blankets, but I knew which one was mine. I have actually helped him coming into the real world, cutting his connection to his beautiful and strong mother; how couldn’t I recognise him?

“He sure is big!” Matt says, in a subtle laugh, taking Val’s hand into his, having her leaning her head on his arm. He is definitely thinking of having a child with her, but she thinks it’s still too early. Fool!

I smile at his comment and then into the nursery room, I can’t wait to have him in my arms. When Leana told me she was pregnant, I know my eyes lit as the sun with happiness, but as time went by I was feeling more uncomfortable with the idea of being a father. What if I do something wrong? What if I can’t hold him straight? I mean, it’s been s many years since I held one baby in my arms, it was when my little sister was born, and I sure was too young then to be afraid of letting her go… What if I don’t know why he’s crying and totally mess up? I am getting scared now as my questions run through my mind.

Soon enough I feel one hand on my shoulder as I hear Matt asking if everything is okay with me. I can only smile widely, in response, looking once more to my son who was being tucked in his bed by the nurse. Then I invite them to come with me to Leana’s room, to check if she is still asleep. She probably is and I think I can take her lead and sleep a little as well.

Back to her room, I see Leana awake, in the same position she was sleeping, and talking to a nurse. I walk in and slightly hug her from the back, making her jump a little in surprise and smiling as she sees me. “There’s my beautiful recent mother…” I say kissing her cheek really smoothly, to have her touching my chin and kissing my lips softly.

“Have you seen the baby?” Leana asks me while the nurse leaves, smiling.
“Yes I have, I just came from the nursery room. He’s beautiful, Leana…” I say, hugging her more. “You are beautiful too, I love you.” I conclude as she smiles. “Oh by the way, Matt and Val are here to see you” I smile back, releasing her body and straightening my body to show her the radiant couple.

The congrats fulfilled the room; Val’s smiles and female comments, Matt’s wishes to have one of their own gaining weird looks from Val, and Leana’s subtle laughs enter my ears as I smile widely to my wife, wanting to hug her graceful figure forever.

Not much long after, a doctor comes in smiling, and warns us that we shall let her sleep a little more since giving birth was very demanding to a mother. We all agree, except Leana, who wants to spend more time chatting, but who looks terribly tired. That’s what the doctor says, as Matt and Val say their goodbyes.

“Hey Jimmy, do you need a ride?” Matt asks.
I nod and look at Leana, who is hearing the doctor’s advices about her and the baby, and many other things she must follow while she’s in here.

“Sure, thanks, ‘cause we took a cab before…” Matt nods to my answer and Val says they will be waiting for me in their car, which is near the entrance of the hospital. “Okay, I’ll be there in two seconds…” I respond, as they walk away. I then look at the doctor who’s talking to Leana and then I look at her; she looks so pretty. She sure is beautiful in her semi-curled light brown hair, her brown eyes and her pale skin, lighted by the hospital bulbs.

“You should go home Mr Sullivan” the doc tells me. I whined a little and he smiles. “I know you wanna stay here with her but you both will take a better rest if you’re not together. I understand there are loads of things you wanna talk about, but Mrs Sullivan sure needs to sleep tight to recover form the painful delivery and to be able to handle nearly two years of bad nights sleep.” He’s smiling now and makes us smile too, though my mind is super worried with the fact that I don’t think I’m actually ready to be a proper dad… but as he walks away and I look at my beautiful smiling Leana, I can only smile back, get closer to the bed, hold her hand, lean her down on her back and kiss her with so much passion that I think I’m gonna explode! She kisses me back and smiles into the kiss, feeling my hand over her still big belly.

“Do you feel empty? I ask her, making her laugh a little and shake her head.
“No, because I have you here and so our much wanted and loved baby in the nursery room.” She smiles and blinks her two eyes in a movement that shows how much tired she is.

“I let you sleep for a while; I’ll be back by…” I look at my watch, it’s 5a.m. “I’ll be back by noon, I hope.” I say and kiss her once again, as she puts her hands in my neck, deepening the kiss.

“I love you, Jims” she says as I pull away from her wonderfully warm lips.
“I love you too, Beautiful!” I say, kissing her forehead, tucking the blankets around her body and smiling at the image of my beautiful wife closing her eyes to sleep.

As I walk away, I can’t avoid the urgent need of going once again to the nursery room to see my first son. My boy… we should think about a name, though I remember the discussions we had over that subject. Leana and I never came to an agreement and I sure don’t know why. I laugh a little as I wave a gently goodbye to my sleeping son and slowly walk away towards the main exit. Matt and Val must be cursing me for taking so much time but I’m sure they will understand. Maybe Matt won’t, because he probably wants to go home quickly and sketch with Val a little baby of their own. I laugh at my thought, trying no to make it loudly, and I start leaving the hospital.

As I come to the closed door what will take me to the waiting room, I remember the moment I walked in with a nurse on my foot so that I could join Leana and be with her while she was screaming our baby out of her. I smile and open the white door, and I see the waiting room as I expected – the bunch of new fathers waiting news from her girlfriends or wives, and a few nurses walking around, but it isn’t these shapes that make me froze, and close the door again.

“Was that a mirror in the middle of the waiting room?” I ask to myself, not really knowing if I said it out loud or if I just thought it. I sigh heavily. “I must be seeing things from all the tiredness…”

I open the door once more but I sure wasn’t ready to what I’ve seen now…