Diary of a Reluctant Ruler

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The week passed far too quickly, snatched moments with James spent talking. But Sunday came round far too fast, and it was the Welcoming Ball for the Lorainian royal party that evening before college started again.

Without an Olly to help, I reluctantly sat on the bed for a while, just staring blankly at the wardrobe door, daydreaming about walking into the room… and only James would be standing there, and we’d dance… and then he’d tell me how beautiful I was and then… *fireworks*.

A knock came at my door.

Yeargh!

“Come in!” I called.

Jade entered, holding a letter in one hand, wearing a long green dress, sleeveless with a high collar. It looked gorgeous on her. I smiled.

“There’s a letter for you,” she said, proffering it.

“Thanks,” I replied, taking it from her.

It was from Olly;

Hi Phil!
Sorry it’s taken me ages. We found an apartment and I’ve moved in, it’s absolutely amazing! Dad managed to organise for the electrics to be sorted out, and Mum has stocked the kitchen completely full. I have fairy lights around the living room!! I’m so having a house-warming party! Wish you could come. Tell you what- I’ll put up a picture of you so you can be there in spirit!
Met a couple of people in the building, most of them nice. Apart from one middle-aged woman just downstairs. She’s the business type, you know? Completely crazy, I’m sure. Doesn’t seem to have a clue about what not to wear. She was wearing TWO pieces of power clothing the other day. AT THE SAME TIME!...
…How are you and James? Haven’t really heard from him, though I sent a letter through Mum and Dad. Hope you’re doing ok. He’s just a guy, an annoying guy if you ask me, so don’t pine yourself away hun…
…weather is beautiful here! I had a walk around the Eiffel tower the other day. It’s really cool to not be a tourist. And my French is good enough that people don’t try to talk to me in English!...
…That’s about it. I’m hoping to come up at Christmas, so I’ll try and see you then! Reply soon!
Love,
Olly.

I breathed a deep sigh and put the letter on my bedside table.

With all my heart I wanted to copy Olly. But it didn’t look likely. As in, 100% certain not to happen. Well, maybe there was a 0.00000000001% chance that something might happen… like the government over-throwing the monarchy. But I really hope that doesn’t happen because…

We’d all be guillotined!

Eww…

Yeah…

“Have you picked out something to wear?” Jade asked.

“No,” I moaned.

“Would you like a hand?” she asked.

“Would you mind?” I asked.

“It would be my pleasure,” she replied.

“Thank you,” I said.

“No problem,” she smiled, “Is this your wardrobe?”

“Yeah.”

She opened the door and stepped inside. I flicked the light switch for her.

“I can see why you might have trouble picking something to wear,” she said.

I laughed.

“Dresses?”

I slid a cabinet door to one side.

“Right…”

Without further ado, Jade started rifling through, checking colours against my skin, waving pieces of fabric in front of me, and generally working methodically through every piece of clothing I had.

She sighed after a few minutes.

“Try this on,” she asked, passing me a dark green dress.

I went into the bathroom and changed, stepped out and watched Jade frown.

“Take it off; you’ve worn too much green recently.”

What’s wrong with green?

Well… it’s the colour of envy.

What’s that got to do with anything?

Nothing really.

Well, don’t say it then.

Fine, I won’t say anything ever again.

But what if I need to ask you something?

---

Nooo!

I went back into the bathroom, put my jeans and T back on.

“Here.”

This time she held my patterned butterfly dress.

“Oh, I can’t wear that,” I protested.

“Why not?” she asked.

“It’s far too childish.”

“Just try it on for me, please.”

I realised I was being childish, not the dress, so I went and put it on.

“You look very pretty,” Jade commented as I came out, “Have you any brown shoes?”

I picked out heels.

“Not sensible,” she replies, putting them back and selecting another pair with only kitten heels, “You do not want to be taller than every man in the room.”

I laughed.

“You’re very practical, it must be useful.”

“Most of the time, yes.”

“Thanks.”

“It’s my job,” she replied.

“I’m sure this wasn’t part of the job description!”

“How do you know what my job description said?” she laughed.

Maybe she’s really a hitman…

Hitwoman.

Still… maybe she’s meant to assassinate someone close to us.

Maybe she’s just meant to assassinate us.

I hope not. Hey! You’re speaking again.

---

Damn.

“Well…”

“Exactly,” she replied, “Shall we?”

“ ’kay.”

We went downstairs, where we found William the doorman/ steward standing at the door once more.

“May I announce your majesty?” he asked.

“I think so,” I replied, glancing round for any grandmother eager to pounce.

“Don’t announce me,” Jade added.

William nodded and the footmen opened the door.

“Her Royal Highness the Crown Princess Meredith!” he cried, almost an exact repeat of what he’d said the other week.

I stepped inside, preparing myself for another evening of courtesy extended and none returned.