Hey diary, its me again...

I walked in the door. Sure enough my mom was gone and Ryan was still asleep. I walked up to my bathroom and turned the water on, Hot. I needed this bacteria to be boiled off. I drenched myself under the facet until I felt impossibly clean. I walked in my room and pulled on some jeans and a tank top. No need for a hoodie today. I was going to stay home and be a bum. I needed to relax but it didn’t seem possible. All I was thinking was what he said. Did he really love me or was he using me? Was that what Ryan meant? Man I need to listen to him. I decided I would go on my computer. I logged on to AIM I needed to talk to anyone, that is anyone but HIM. I loved him so much but he was using me. He made me feel dirty. I looked at my buddy list and Spencer was on.

AbsolutelyEmma: Hey Spenc.
Drummerdude: Hey emma
AbsolutelyEmma: Hey Does Brendon you know have a bad past?
Drummerdude: Nah not that I know of
AbsolutelyEmma: ok thanks.

I then signed out and sighed. Maybe I was wrong just maybe. I can still dream can’t I?