So...Who Are You Again? My Chemical Romance? Never Heard of You.

"Holy shit," everyone breathed at the same time it seemed, staring wide eyed at the giant bag of candy Mikey sat on the table with a proud smile as if it were an alien baby. I couldn't help but smile as I watched everyone's reactions to the unnecessary amount of candy.

"Don't tell me you're going to eat that all right now," Ray said, glancing wearily from the candy to Mikey, "because I swear to God I will jump out the window if it means getting away from your sugar rush."

"No," Bob immediately scolded, pointing to Ray. "We just got that fixed, and I am not about to lose another sweater."

"Relax," Mikey sang with a smile, swatting his hand in the air. "The heap is going to Shelly."

"What?" Shelly's head jerked up, watching Mikey unsurely. "Why?"

"Because," Mikey began, dragging the word out before adding in an announcer’s voice, "you're the winner, winner, winner!"

"Of what, what, what?"

"Life," he answered simply with eerily large eyes a goofy smile, shoving the bag onto Shelly's lap, causing several pieces to overflow. She laughed, still looking surprised, as she searched through the heaps of candy bars, receiving slightly jealous looks from a couple of the guys. Mikey and I exchanged a quick smile when his eyes flashed in my direction, both of us delighted the plan was going well so far.

As Shelly continued a conversation with Mikey, her usual spunk shining through that was I'm sure prompted from the gift of candy, I took a seat at the other end of the couch next to Gerard, bringing my legs up to my chest in attempt to be less noticeable. He averted his eyes from his brother to me.

"I need to talk to you," I began quietly, fidgeting with the raggedy couch. He leaned onto the arm of the chair he sat in towards me with a nervous look, licking his lips.

"Yeah, me too," he mumbled.

"It's about earlier," I continued before I lost my nerve, instead of allowing him go first, "when you kissed me." He watched apprehensively with round, curious eyes, reminding me of a child about to be scolded. A part of me wanted to call it off and just let him talk first instead so I could stall that much longer, but I knew that would get us nowhere.

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about, too," he said, scratching the side of his head lightly, taking the time to shift positions again. He looked extremely anxious, and simply watching him only heightened my uneasiness. He absentmindedly drummed two fingers on his thigh as I searched for the right words to say to fill the short silence between us.

"I just wanted to say that I shouldn't have-"

"What are you doing?" Shelly's sharp voice suddenly cut through the air, piercing my words. Both Gerard and I turned to her, only to find her frowning. Mikey still sat next to her, his mouth gaping open as he watched his plan unravel before his eyes. He probably imagined he could dazzle her longer than half a minute. He obviously wasn't accustomed to her jealousy prone nature and short attention span, a skill that took me almost two months to acquire when I first met her at the end of middle school.

"Talking," I answered briefly, looking to be like I was caught in the act of a crime. She growled impatiently before standing up and crossing her arms.

"Yeah, well I need to talk to you," she informed, her narrowed eyes practically burning holes into me.

"I need to talk to him," I countered innocently, pointing to Gerard.

"And I kind of need to talk to her." Gerard pointed to me.

"No," Frank suddenly interjected in a tone that suggested Gerard were the stupidest man alive. He glared across the room from where he sat slumped in a chair with his arms folded. "You kind of need to talk to me because you still haven't apologized for punching me earlier."

"Sorry," Gerard said shortly, quite obviously not meaning it. He had his eyebrows raised carelessly, which only annoyed Frank.

"I think I deserve a little more than a sorry," Frank huffed in a low voice, making Gerard scoff.

"Oh, boo-hoo," he mumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes as he leaned back in the chair. Um- What? The wrong people are fighting.

"What is wrong with you?" Frank asked aggressively, sitting up angrily. "Why have you been such a dick to me?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you if you didn't tell me," he replied lightly, looking uninterested with the conversation. Frank jut his jaw out and narrowed his eyes, looking at Gerard dangerously, and a feeling arose in me that suggested another fight was about to ensue. I glanced around the room, desperately seeking a distraction to lessen the stress. That's when I noticed Ray and Bob sharing a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints as they watched attentively as if we were their own personal soap network, not looking to have any intentions to quiet us down.

Well at least they're entertained...Bastards.

"Alright," I said sternly, finding a familiar place in between the two's argument. I raised my hands tentatively, as if trying to calm a wild animal, glancing between Frank and Gerard because despite what they believed, this wasn't about them. "Everyone is entitled to their own secrets."

"And everyone is entitled to their own lies," Shelly muttered.

"I didn't lie to you!" I exclaimed, growing impatient with trying to get my point across, turning around abruptly to face her. "How many times do I have to keep telling you?"

I could hear Gerard and Frank exchange snide remarks about one another as soon as my attention was elsewhere. I grew increasingly perturbed when Mikey joined in, thinking he was helping but was really only adding to the noise.

"How can I believe you?" Shelly demanded, forming a whole separate argument, ignoring everyone else.

"It's not that hard!"

I couldn't comprehend her elongated response that blended into the other spat, which somehow threw Bob's complaining into the mix, as well as an increased volume level. My temples began to throb since I was in the middle of all the commotion, which now consisted of disgruntled incoherent yells, making me squeeze my eyes shut. Where the fuck is their off switch?

"Everybody shut up!" Ray bellowed over the bickering, stepping out of the kitchen area with his hands up. After a few added in sentences from various people, the noise died down and all eyes were on an annoyed Ray.

Thank you Jesus for giving us Ray.

"No body move!" Ray continued loudly, tensing his muscles together. "There are too many hormones raging in this room!"

No one spoke as we watched the usually laid back and tolerant guitarist frown.

"You! You!" He pointed first to Gerard then Frank. "Talk to each other." Turning to Shelly and I he repeated, "You! You! Talk to each other! You can trade in 10 minutes."

"But I-"

"I don't care if your brother just died, Gerard," Ray raged impatiently. "Just talk to Frank civilly before I explode."

"That would ruin a perfectly good bus." Gerard shook his head, both of them ignoring Mikey's objection to the apathetic nature about his death. "You're heartless."

"And you're annoying," Ray growled, directing him to the other side of the room where Frank sat stoically, obviously not pleased. Gerard reluctantly pulled himself up with a groan, glancing to me, then shuffled across the room, grumbling complaints to himself along the way. Ray sent a glare in Shelly and me's direction and we headed to the back room silently, repressing the built up rage.

"And you," Ray barked, turning to Bob with a questioning, but still angry, look as we exited. "Why were you yelling?"

"I just didn't want to be left out," he mumbled, looking downward with a slight pout. Ray rolled his eyes and sighed, not even bothering to answer. I didn't get to see the rest because Shelly shut the door with force, cutting us off from the band.

"Why would you lie about liking Gerard?" she demanded right off the bat.

"Okay, Shelly, for God's sake I didn't lie," I said slowly, elongated my words to emphasis my point. "He kissed me."

"Well you sure didn't do a very good job of saying no," she scolded, raising her eyebrows with an angry, fake smile. I sighed shortly, knowing fully what it looked like, but she had it wrong- It was just a matter of convincing her. I wished there were just a copy and paste tool I could use with my thoughts to simply transfer the information in an easy transaction so we didn't have to go through this, but the geniuses of this earth haven't come up with that. Just what have they been working on instead?

"Look, I'm going to explain things, and I want you to listen," I proposed, taking a seat. She opened her mouth to undeniably object, but I pleaded with her before she could start. "Just listen."

Shelly clicked her tongue then reluctantly sat down across from me after a couple seconds. I wanted to prepare an organized speech that got all my points across in an orderly fashion, just like I had to do in high school, but I didn't have that kind of time. I was going to have to wing it, a skill I'd been forced to improve quickly since Projekt Revolution began.

"I speak nothing but the truth when I say I don't like Gerard that way in any sort," I began formally, raising my palm up to imitate a court hearing. She continued looking at me with a raised eyebrow, making her reaction hard to read, so I lowered my arm and continued. "I'm sorry that Gerard likes me instead, really I am. I didn't tell him to; I promise"

"Then why'd you kiss him?" Shelly interrupted. I bit my lip as I hesitated to answer.

"You can shoot me in the face or whatever," I offered, my gaze cast down, "but I'm willing to admit I was a little curious to see what it would be like. I know I shouldn't have and I'm sorry, but I think you should know I felt absolutely nothing."

"Nothing?" she repeated quietly in a small voice, looking slightly curious, to which I shook my head in reply.

"I was trying to talk to him about it earlier, and tell him it was a mistake. I wasn't thinking clearly after my hectic morning." I rubbed the side of my head just thinking about it.

"That reminds me," she mumbled, cocking her head to the side. "Where'd you go? I couldn't find you anywhere, and all Mikey said before he went back to sleep was that you went out."

"I'll tell you about that later," I replied, raising my eyebrows shortly, letting out a short breath of air afterwards. Shelly agreed silently, still pouting a little, but I could tell she wasn't seething anymore.

"But I just want you to know I regret it, but I can't take it back. We've been friends for so long, and I'm not about to let you forget that because of some boy." I half way expected her to snap at me for calling Gerard Way "some boy", but she held her tongue.

"Can we just forget about this?" she requested suddenly, lifting her head. I was taken aback, by her strange change of attitude, and looked at her oddly.

"What?" I couldn't help myself from asking.

"Look, I don't want to stay mad at you- You know I don't have the attention span for it." She paused to roll her eyes then began picking at her jeans. "I obviously can't get him to like me, so just screw it."

"I thought he was your one and only love," I stated, articulating my words with a lazy grin.

"I don't know. I think I liked the idea of being with him, more than actually being with him," she disclosed, looking away sheepishly. "I had this idea in my head, and I guess I was just trying to convince myself it would come true."

"Let's make a vow," I suggested, repositioning myself, with a joking half grin. "No Gerard- That boy is trouble."

"I'm not gonna lie, Julie, if he makes a move on me I'm gonna roll with it," Shelly said, looking at me as if I were crazy.

"Fine," I agreed grudgingly. "Ignore me after all I've done for you."

"Since when have you ever done anything for me?"

Since when have I done anything for her? Hah. Hah. And another hah.

"Um- Who was the one with you at the hospital, barely a month ago?" I reminded, that being the first instance that popped into my head.

"Doctors," Shelly muttered stubbornly.

"And?" I beckoned her to continue, circling my hand around.

"Nurses," she said more confidently, then added, "and that one lady who bought me a candy bar."

"That was me."

"Oh yeah."

A hurried rap suddenly sounded from the door, and Ray peeked his head in questioningly a second later.

"Are you two all patched up yet?" he asked hurriedly, his eyes jumping from me to Shelly, seeming distracted. I didn't want to speak too soon, so I glimpsed toward my friend for the final okay. I had kind of hoped we would get to the subject of Frank, but I still felt tentative about telling even her about my situation. I was unsure about so many things when it came to him, that I probably wouldn't even know where to begin. It was probably better off unsaid.

"Yeah," Shelly answered, both looking and sounding much more relieved than when we started talking. I hoped things would stay well between us because we'd been having way more disagreements lately than usual. When you shove two small town girls onto a big show tour with such a unique band, shit is bound to happen.

"Well that makes one half of my new counseling career a success." Ray sighed, annoyed, as I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering what he meant. He soon pushed the door open and informed, "'Cause Gerard and Frank won't talk to each other."

The three of us reentered the room cautiously, myself feeling increasingly alarmed. Just like he said, Gerard and Frank sat facing away from each other with matching glares and folded arms. Gerard glanced in our direction as we moved closer, but Frank's gaze remained in the general direction of his fish, or rather, Meatloaf.

"Make them talk," Bob commanded, pointing in their direction then mumbled in a softer voice, "It's creeping me out."

It was quiet a few seconds before I noticed Ray and Shelly looking at me, making me frown.

"Why are you looking at me?" I asked, taking a step back, my eyes jumping from one to the other.

"'Cause you're the almighty peace maker," Mikey piped up, from next to Bob.

"Yeah, I did an excellent job of that earlier," I said under my breath, now looking at the two in an unpleasant mood, remembering my outstanding performance with cleaning up this morning's events. Gerard sighed irritated, then turned his head toward me.

"So what did you and Frank do this morning?" he asked me acutely, holding onto Frank's name with a harsh tone. I remained silent, as well the other four who now seemed confused, as he unleashed his furry, not sure where he was taking this. "Did you have an awesome time?"

"Gerard shut up," Frank whispered weakly, still looking blankly at no one.

"No I think she's gonna want to hear what I have to say. He's got a fiancé you know?" Gerard smiled bitterly to me with raised eyebrows, then cast a disapproving glare to Frank. "When was the last time you talked to her, Frank?"

Uh oh. He thought Frank was cheating on Lauren...with me. That must have been what Gerard was referring to in the lobby earlier.

"This morning," Frank answered with a grimace, seeming unusually unemotional.

"What?" both Gerard and I demanded, wearing matching surprised expressions. Shelly glanced at me shortly, probably wondering why this mattered to me.

"See look," Frank spoke, pulling out his phone then pressed a few buttons rapidly. Leaning forward to show Gerard the now lit up phone, I intercepted it before the phone got to Gerard and stared at the screen with wide eyes, stunned.

Lauren
08/05/07 8:43AM
Time 00:06:27

I read the information several times, for some reason thinking my eyes were playing tricks on me. What did he have to talk to Lauren about for 6 minutes? Hell, what did he have to talk to Lauren about, period?

I looked up from the dimmed screen, noticing most everyone now looking at me at me strangely. But I only kept my attention of Frank, ignoring everything else, finding myself feeling slightly betrayed for some reason. My breath got caught in my throat as he kept his eye contact with me, looking impassive, and I noticed his eyes were significantly duller than usual.

"Yeah, I was telling her that we were going to be in New Jersey in about a week and that we should meet up," he revealed as Gerard slipped the phone from my hand that was losing its grip anyway to glance over the details for himself. I continued standing there, feeling limp and unresponsive, as Frank looked down. I was crushed, unlike everyone else in the room who wasn't aware of his and Lauren's dispute. I should have felt like punching him repeatedly in hopes that he'd come to his senses, but my brain shut down instead.

"I'm going to go to sleep," I stated in a far off voice. When I turned and walked shakily from the room, which was now blurry at the corners from the tears I tried to repress, I continued to ignore everyone's concern with my reaction. I didn't respond to any of the worry about me as I exited the room, shutting the door almost mechanically as I was only running on auto-pilot to present myself to be normal, which wasn't very convincing.

Hopelessly, I leaned against the door and let myself slide to the ground as thoughts raced through my brain. Why did he want to talk to Lauren? Why was he going back to her when I was here to help console him? Was I not good enough for that?

I brought my knees to my chest again, placing my forehead on my knees, feeling just plain pathetic. I regretted telling Frank during our first actual conversation that it was good to feel sadness since it was something. I was wrong- I wanted to feel nothing at all for the first time in my life.

I'd never cried over a boy, especially one that wasn't even mine, but I couldn't stop the uncontrollable urge. Calling and wanting to talk to her after what we'd been through just felt like a slap in the face. I felt the strong bond that had formed between us break into two...and all I could do about it was cry.