So...Who Are You Again? My Chemical Romance? Never Heard of You.

Over the next few days, I spent a lot of time with Frank. Actually, a ridiculous amount if you look at it in retrospective. It seemed like almost anywhere I went, he went, and vice versa. I couldn't explain it but I had this overcoming feeling that we just needed each other currently; it suddenly didn't feel right to be without him. Even though Frank came clean about everything, we were still sucked into our own world.

I didn't mind though. It always made me smile that much wider when his arm would rest around my shoulders and it always made my heart race that much faster when he would occasionally lean in close to talk to me, sometimes leaving a small kiss when no one was looking.

But still something didn't sit right. I was more than happy where we were and I knew Frank was too. It wasn't a matter of whether I could wait before we decided to become "official" or whatever...it was everyone else; even Shelly and especially Gerard. It seemed like where our happiness augmented, the others' sort of went the other direction. I didn't really take particular notice of this until when we were in Maryland, about a week after Frank's confession.

I was watching their performance that night, now the end of August, and I couldn't help but notice Gerard's perpetual scowl. Every now and then when he wasn’t facing the audience, he would clench his teeth momentarily and narrow his eyes, sometimes cursing.

We didn't need Sherlock Holmes on the case to figure out something was bothering him. I chose to ask him after their set because you don't talk about that kind of thing in front of an audience of a good thousand people that paid money to see them play, not solve the problems to life.

In a daze of thought, I absentmindedly watched alone as they lapped up the audience's cheers in between songs. Gerard became distracted with someone's sign they were holding up that he read with a smirk, during which Frank seized the opportunely to scurry towards me unexpectedly.

"You look bored," he stated with a sloppy grin, looking me dead in the eye.

"I'm just thinking." I shrugged with a smile of my own.

"About?" he willed, keeping his shoulders rose as he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. My eyebrows rose as my jaw slightly dropped, glancing around, wondering why he was making conversation at a time like this.

"About why you're not playing your show." I laughed shortly, noticing that his band mates' attention were now on us. The smile faded when my eyes landed on Gerard, standing smack dab in the middle of the stage, his jaw down as he carefully watching us almost unbelievingly. The others at least dabbled with something a little as they waited but Gerard just stood there, microphone held loosely to his side.

"Well I need something from you first," he answered, not taking any notice to the rest of My Chemical Romance. I blinked several times in surprise, not sure what he was talking about. Frank stuck his thumb under my chin, lightly tilting my head up toward him, lowering his head so it was level with mine.

"Liven up for me," he requested softly then placed a short kiss on my lips and before I could really get my thoughts together, he pulled away with a tiny smile, his eyes bright with excitement. I stood there dumbly as he rushed back on stage, unable to cap my smile. I bit my lip, watching Frank reconvene with his friends and start a song...except Gerard continued standing there rather than commanding the audience like he usually did.

I frowned, watching his eyes narrow as they landed on Frank, not even bothering to start singing where he came in. The band awkwardly looked around at each other, slowing their pace in confusion, wondering why Gerard wasn't adding vocals.

Angrily, Gerard threw his microphone across stage and stormed toward the side I was on, his gaze fixed forward in rage. My jaw dropped along with probably everyone else watching him exit. It took a couple seconds to register for me to go after him since no one else was. Quickly I followed, desperate to catch up.

"Gerard, what are you doing?" I asked loudly, now at his side. He didn't look at me though.

"I can't do this anymore," he grumbled more to himself than to me, slamming open a door in his way.

"Can't do what anymore?" I pressed on, following his footsteps with a quickened pace. I had a hard time keeping up with him at normal speed- This was just unreasonable. He suddenly stopped, almost causing me to run into him, and threw his arms in the air, motioning all around us.

"This!"

...Because that makes more sense. You have a way with words, Gerard Way.

He took a breath to calm down, shutting his eyes. Bowing his head, he opened his saddened eyes partially.

"It just really fucking hurts," he whispered, dropping his shoulders, his eyes still downcast. "I really, really like you and you..." His head lowered even further as he continued to mumble, "Really, really don't like me back and it just kind of sucks. I thought I had it under control but now Frank is openly all over you, which is still a complete change for me to see him with any other girl."

"I'm sorry..."

"Why are you apologizing?" he demanded, his voice suddenly angry which took me by surprise. "None of this is even your fault. It's my fault I had to like the wrong girl, it's my fault for not even finding out what was wrong with Frank weeks ago, and it's my fault not being able to live with any of this."

"You're putting yourself down way too much."

"It's what I see," he explained solemnly, furiously rubbing his temples. "It's the way my mind works."

"Listen Gerard," I began, a headache of my own forming. "I'm sorry you're going through this but you have to realize not everything that goes wrong is your fault. There's a girl out there who's a million times better than me-"

"I don't want her, I want you..." he whispered, barely audible. My eyebrows drew together as I watched his slumped figure sigh, rubbing his face in his palms.

"Gerard-"

"It's okay," he assured, his dull eyes closing again. "I'll be fine."

I felt like shit- Seeing his spirits completely broken and his attempt to cover it up made me feel worse. I didn't know what to do; there was nothing I could do.

"Gerard, don't pick apart every detail of something. Stop over analyzing. Not everything is your fault and I want you to know that. You're not a bad friend for not helping Frank-"

"But why did he go to you?" he asked painstakingly. "It must have been because he felt like he couldn't talk to us- His supposed best friends."

"Do you honestly think Frank ever thinks anything out? Do you really think that he planned on hurting everyone's feelings?" I interrogated, becoming defensive of Frank. "Well he didn't. In fact, he was scared to death to talk to you guys because of his own personal problems- Ones that only he can cope with. His actions aren't your responsibility."

"You really like him," Gerard stated with a semi-amused half smile as he rubbed his eye, catching me off guard. My confusion must have shown on my face as he chuckled a little. "You always have a lot to say when we're talking about him."

I brought my fingers to my traitorous lips, not realizing how much more I always had to say when it came to Frank. Hearing it from Gerard made it that much more obvious too because he was extremely observant.

"He talks about you a lot too, y’know..."

"...What does he say?" I asked uneasily, watching him through large eyes. I knew we weren't here to talk about Frank, but my interest was peaked and he could tell. I really wanted to know before the guys recruited him back on stage to, well, do his job.

"Well, they're little things," he admitted, making my hope drop a little. "He'll mention how something is your favorite color, or say how something reminds him of you. I don't think he realizes it half the time. I don’t ever remember him doing that about Lauren…"

"Did you like her?" I found myself suddenly asking then sputtered, “L-Lauren I mean.” It's something I'd wanted to know for awhile and just never asked- The only view I had of her was through Frank's eyes...and sometimes I didn't know if that was only his version of the truth. I'd never admit it though.

"Sometimes," he answered after a couple seconds of hesitation, scrunching his face in thought. "Sometimes she pissed me off so much that I had to leave the room and sometimes she was the sweetest girl- It just depended on her mood...or mine. But the past couple of months, no not really."

He paused to glance around shortly before he continued seriously, "Do not tell anyone this, but I don't even think Frank liked her the last month they were together. I was surprised when he told me he was going to ask her to marry him. I wanted to ask why but I think he was just nervous that he wouldn't find anyone else he felt that way about. And then she went and cheated on him..."

"Yeah," I whispered in agreement, feeling bad for Frank all over again after wearing Gerard’s insight.

"I like you much better than Lauren if it's any consent," he said in a lighter tone, attempting a laugh, which made me smile weakly. "But you're really too good to him."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're too nice to him for your own good,” he elaborated. “If he ever starts walking all over you, just tell me and I'll punch him for you. You know I've got no problem with it."

"Gerard!" I heard a distant voice echo through the hall, followed by pounding footsteps and doors flying open, clashing into the walls. "Where in the hell are you? I am not playing hide and go fucking seek!"

"I think Mikey is angry," Gerard observed quietly, staring at the door way, waiting for his brother to burst into the room. Ignoring Mikey's demanding voice, I looked back at Gerard.

"I really do feel bad about making you go through this," I let him know, not really knowing what else to say. Modern science hasn't progressed enough to be able to reroute hormones.

"Hey, if you're happy, I can just grin and bear it..." He thought his choice of words over. "Well actually, I probably won't grin randomly 'cause then people would come up with more reasons to think I'm crazy."

"There you are!" Mikey's voice projected into the room. We simply looked at Mikey who looked positively stressed out. "What were you thinking?!"

"I wanted to throw everyone a curve ball." Gerard shrugged, unaffected.

"Well the crowd is not amused." Mikey frowned at his brother's calm behavior and vague answer.

"Then what're you doing just standing here?" he exclaimed, walking past Mikey with his arms out his question. "Let's go!"

"Do you have any siblings, Julie?" Mikey grumbled, darkly watching Gerard run through the hallway toward the front.

"Nope."

"Well, you want one?" he asked grudgingly, making me smile. "I don't want him anymore."

--

If a few guys with alcohol at a party were a bad idea, this was a train wreck. It was decided, not by me, that it would be fun to have a blowout in the hotel that night in the two largest rooms that were connected with a door. There were tons of people and an over abundance of beer so everyone had the opportunity to get completely shitfaced if they wanted to.

I didn't really know what to do but sit there and watch people look kind of like dumbasses. I didn't like parties and I didn't like beer which kind of defeated the point of me even being there. When I went to a few parties in high school, I at least would ignore the set backs but I really wasn't even in the mood to try and have fun tonight. I couldn't find anyone I knew so I just sat to the side. It's not like I had anywhere else to go- This was supposed to be my room to sleep in tonight.

"What did I tell you about livening up?" Frank suddenly came out of nowhere, taking a seat next to me with a smile.

"I'm not really in the partying mood," I explained, still wondering where he came from.

"Well then..." he trailed off, licking his lips as he looked down. "Do you wanna go somewhere quieter?"

"Sure." I smiled along with him as he took my hand and stood up. He led me through the mass of people with slight difficulty, keeping a firm grip on my hand, and out the door to the other room where there were significantly less people. I thought it was just as chaotic in this room as the other one, but in here there was only a few clumps of people talking and slightly nodding to the music that could still be heard. I felt dumb for not just going here in the first place.

"Now I don't have a key to anyone else's place so is this fine?" Frank asked, observing the room as we stood there to which I nodded with a smile. He swallowed then returned a nervous grin before we headed to the far corner of the room to the bed, taking a seat against the wall it was next to.

"I don't mean to take away from your good time if you wanna go back in there," I offered, motioning back to the door.

"I'd rather be here," he declined like I hoped he would then slid an arm behind my back. "I'm not really in a partying mood either. I haven't even had a single beer tonight."

"I'm guessing that's revolutionary?" I assumed, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah. I can sometimes get kind of..." he ventured with a chuckle, trying to find the right word, "crazy...and a little out of control."

He was already a mess and a handful when he was sober; I couldn't help but giggle as I pictured him intoxicated. He was probably a loud drunk.

"Something tells me you don't party much," Frank mused, looking at me playfully.

"No not really," I answered honestly.

"Good," he concluded with a nod of his head. "I've had my share of party girls."

"That reminds me...Did Lauren ever stop getting you noise violation tickets?"

"Whoa, you remember that?" He looked genuinely surprised with my concern.

"Well you kind of yelled it at me..." I pointed out, blinking a few times.

"Sorry...again," he apologized, his shoulders sinking. "But yeah. I finally got it all under control, thanks."

"That's good." I cocked my head as I made my segue. "Why did you smirk at me after you told me about it?"

"Damn girl, you've got a memory like a steel trap!" he exclaimed in shock, to which I shrugged. He shook it off with a anxious laugh then started, "Well...I used to think you were kind of useless and dopey."

"Dopey?" I repeated, my jaw dropping.

"Hey, hey," he said, holding up a hand to silence me before I got too worked up. "I said used to. But I remember when I saw you all intimidated by me I thought..."

"What?" I wondered, looking up at him while biting my lip.

"I may not like her," he began, looking me dead in the eye, "but at least she looks cute when she's scared."

"Oh how sweet," I replied mockingly, though my expression betrayed me because I couldn't stop grinning like a fool. It made me happy that he thought at least something kind of me, no matter how small.

"True story," he insisted, nodding his head, a smile forming on his face too.

"I guess since you told me that..." I looked up in thought with a sigh, debating what I should reveal. "Then I can let you know that I think you're absolutely adorable."

"Well aren't we just the sweetest people I know?" he asked with a giddy laugh, bringing his nose to mine and shaking his head humorously. I returned the Eskimo kiss, giggling while doing so. As we stopped, faces still close, my gaze got stuck on his lovely eyes and I felt an imaginary pull between us. I obeyed it, slowly shutting my eyes, and closed the space between our lips.

Immediately, he deepened the kiss, bringing a hand to the back of my head. He guided my back to the bed, just like on the rooftop, only this time with less pointy rocks so neither of us pulled away. I couldn't contain the soft moan that escaped me as his lips trailed down to my neck. My breath rate shortened as my thoughts shut down, not being able to process anything but Frank. On autopilot now, I tugged on his shirt. I decided it had to go and he silently agreed, quickly helping me. I hugged him closer to me after his shirt landed away from us God knows where.

"Julie..." he whispered longingly in between a kiss, making my heart race. I didn't think it was possible to feel this good. His hand gently ran up my back, taking my shirt with him. In realization, my eyes suddenly opened in shock. I took a quick breath of air then backed myself away from him, his eyes now open in confusion as he hovered over me.

"I've gotta pee," I stated in a small voice, worming my way from under him. Frank awkwardly got off of me, his jaw slacked in open confusion. I quickly walked away from him with wide eyes, a heart beat pounding in my ears, without looking back.

Desperately, my eyes looked over every person I passed, trying to find Shelly. I had barely seen her for the past couple days but she was the person I needed to talk to. I pushed my way through the people, searching for where she might be. Not seeing her in the main portion of the party, I opened a nearby door. I sighed exasperatedly when I found a random couple making out but suddenly stopped before I shut the door.

Wait...

I did a double take inside the smaller room to find that the people weren't random at all.

"When did this happen?" I yelled in surprise, my emotions still going crazy. Shelly and Mikey pulled away from each other in shock, quickly scrambling around to recompose them.

"Julie!" Shelly exclaimed. "How- You- We-"

"I don't care!" I cut off, my voice sqeaking slightly as I tried not to go into panic. I shoved my way into a place next to her, forcing them to scoot over and give me room on the crampt loveseat. "Shelly, things with Frank and I are moving way too fast."

"Dude," she addressed, taking me by the shoulders to calm me down, still shook up with surprise. "Kisses aren't moving too fast."

"I just almost had sex with him!" Shelly's eyebrows rose and an o formed on her lips as Mikey's jaw dropped awkwardly, both of them staring at me strangely.

"Well...What happened...?" Shelly asked slowly, making me gasp.

"Oh my God, I just walked away. I just fucking left him there!" I cried, going into hysterics as I fully comprehended what I just did. My breaths got heavier as I sobbed into Shelly's tense shoulder, loosing my self control.

"I'm not good with this shit...so I'm gonna leave you in command..." Mikey stated with a stiffened body, looking completely out of place. He quickly slipped out of the room as Shelly sighed.

"Julie, pull yourself together!" she commanded, trying to elbow me off of her. It felt weird being the one blubbering; I'd always been in Shelly's position when comforting because for any emotion a normal person felt, she always felt it twice as much. So whenever something bad would happen to her, she let it out...loudly.

"That was so stupid," I scolded myself, keeping a hold on her arm.

"You're acting like an eight year old."

"Eight year olds don't almost have sex."

"Okay, Julie." She pried me off of her finally, keeping her arm extended so I couldn't latch to her shoulder again. "You can't just leave him sitting there."

"I panicked," I said softly, sniffing pathetically.

"Well you've got to go back there and talk to him," she advised, nodding her head.

"And say what exactly?"

"Tell him what you told me...except less hysterically," she added, rolling her eyes with a tiny smile. I could tell she found amusement out of my situation. I sniffled again, leaving my bottom lip sticking out, mourning over my stupid decision.

"Okay," I finally agreed, making no effort to get up. She looked at me expectantly and I reluctantly stood, not particularly wanting to face Frank, knowing how awkward it was going to be.

Way to go, Julie.