The Age of Time - Comments

I loved this, i'm thirteen and the only things i have that have cost alot of money are my laptop(It's nothing new, i bought it from my grampa) and my IPod classic(That saved up the money for.) i don't have a cell phone.
i hate seeing 7 year olds with alot of make up on(Eyeshodow, lip gloss, eyeliner) and holding shoping bags and talking like a spoiled brat.

Thanks :D That'll help me a lot :) I think I'll write it and structure it next time, thank you so much though for tips !

To add to what Del said, an article should be a collection of facts used to express your opinion, not just a bunch of scattered thoughts and opinions. A very good first effort.

Not a bad article!!
However, I thought that if you wanted to express "age" through "time",
You should've focused more on that instead
Of the talk of the media and today's society.
An article should have a definite point,
Not a scatter of ideas.