I have never lost a blood family member to suicide. I haven't actually lost anyone to suicide.... But I do know how it feels to lose someone. Grief causes a lot of sadness and hurt and more anger than one can even begin to express, but you just have to take your time to grieve and your grief may not get better, but it will become more bearable over time. Stay strong by letting your grief show.
My cousin killed herself. It was a really long time ago, but I still have problems dealing with it. I don't really know how I should feel about it. Sometimes I'm really mad at her, other times I'm just sad. Sorry for your loss.