Such A Cliche - Comments

Dear Abee,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but your a leprechaun. I think I realized it last year when you peed your pants at the mental hospital and I saw you ignore your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that I may pee my pants. I'm returning your pet rock to you, but I'll keep that blood sample as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without you and the apartment building is on fire.

Kiss my butt

Dear Mother,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me in your car and I saw you sit on my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I'm allergic to your ears.
I'm returning your nose clippers, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of your feet and your cucumber fetishism is weird.

Go milk a cow.
Rainla

:D lmao cucumber-fetishism

Dear Stranger Online,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me outside your office and I saw you sit on my corned beef hash. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I only get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the moose poaching and you ruined my attempts at another world war.

Please don't lick my inner thighs anymore.

I'm deff. putting this on my profile, XD

Dear Jacob,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm joining the Convent. I think I realized it When you put cuffs on me At the mental hospital and I saw you Sit on The elephant in the corner. I'm sure your Open enough to understand That you need a sex change. I'm returning Your pet rock to you, but I'll keep your virginity as a memory. You should know that I Love your sweet, sweet ass and You ruined my attempts at another world war.

Your everlasting enemy

So cool!!!! C:

Dear (someone you recently talked to)
I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our socks don't match. I think I realized it When your dog humped my leg at the Elton John concert and I saw you carve your initials into the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men . I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I Hate your cooking and you should get that embarrassing rash checked out.

Best of luck on the sex change.

XD

Dear Mother,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you. I think I realized it when I finally changed my underwear, outside of you office and I saw you knock out my father. I'm sure your sterile enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your false teeth to you, but I'll keep the oil tank from your car as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without you and I love Oprah.

Please don't lick my Inner Thighs anymore,
Maizie

Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but Our romance is over. I think I realized it When I saw the purple monkey Outside of your office and I saw you Sit on The Montreal Canadiens' goalie. I'm sure you're Open enough to understand That your driving sucks. I'm returning Your toe ring to you, but I'll keep Your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I Get sick when I think of your feet and I'm scratching my butt as you read this.

Go drown yourself

....awesome!