Pansexual, should I come out? - Comments

You need to think about one thing, is it truly what you want? Will you have any regrets coming out? I came out as a lesbian when I was fourteen and I have never had any regrets about it even though it didn't go over well with some people. Is this what you want? Is now the right time to come out?

If you do decide to come out, make absolute sure you have somewhere to go. If your parents do kick you out, then you'll need somewhere to stay, so make sure of that. When you're coming out to them, never raise your voice. Keep a calm voice and a calm attitude. Trust me hun, starting to yell and scream is only going to make it worse. When I came out to a friend, it turned into yelling and screaming and let's just say it didn't turn out well. So make sure to stay calm. I would also advise, if you think your parents will overreact, make sure you either tell them in a public place or have someone by your side. I'm not saying your family will do anything to harm you, but if they do, you want to have someone there beside you to protect you.

If you need anything, you can message me. I've been out for four years now, I can help you with anything you need. (: Good luck, just remember to make sure coming out now is absolutely what you want to do. You really have to ask yourself, is now the right time?

a n g e l. Oh, well I understand! See, I think I would love anyone, no matter what. But loving someone for who they are, and loving to be with them is two different things for me. I don't think I could be with someone that wasn't a guy, but right now I don't know. That could change at any time if I met someone who would change it.

v. Well, no, I haven't... So I see where you are coming from. I live in a small town full of hicks and homophobes, though, so there really isn't any chance that I would even see a transgendered/sexual human being. However, I am open to it, so that's where I got my sexual preferences. But like I said, I understand where you are coming from.

a n g e l. Most people tend to think it's a phase because 99% of the time it is. Bisexuality, and other non-straight sexualities have become something of a trend for girls your age. Given the fact that you have been with a girl for that long, yeah, you probably aren't in the 99%. But pansexual? Have you been with anyone that wasn't male or female? Those are all factors.

I am only thirteen (fourteen on November fourteenth) and I am pansexual, leaning towards girls more than guys. I have also been in a relationship with a girl for almost three months, so... Yeah. I don't see why, because of our age, that people automatically think it's a phase. Yes, it very well could be. But there is also the chance that it isn't. I would suggest seeing how your emotions play out, wait and see how you really feel. And even if you are positive about your sexuality, I suggest not coming out to your family. I would wait until you are out of the house to tell them anything. It would just make it so much easier to handle everything with a family like how you described.

Well, whatever you do, I hope it goes well.

Because you're 13. I thought I was a lot of things when I was 13. Give it time. Maybe you will be pansexual, maybe you won't.
You've got a lot of time to figure yourself out.

s t e v e I'm kind of leaning with you here.

You are only 13. Bisexual, now maybe that could be you. Or I should say bicurious. Your homones are going to be all over the place. If you haven't met anyone and actually talked or become close to someone who is neither male or female, a tranny, or whatever the correct words would be, then you probably aren't pan. As for even being bisexual, if you haven't kissed and been in a relationship with someone of the same gender - you probably aren't even bisexual. And what kind of relationships are serious at the age of 13 anyways? & please don't take this up the a**. I'm not trying to be a b*tch, so I'll make that known now so as not to turn this journal into a fight.

VVV, Why do you think so...?
All other answers, thanks :)

v. And you need to calm down. She's going to the internet for advice, she's gonna get 'internet-advice'. Defensive!

Ok, well, s t e v e, if you're just going to flat out say it's a phase, you need to back yourself up. Sometimes you just know when something is what it is, and I don't really think you should just be shooting back at people that they know nothing because they're young. As for my opinion...If at this point it's not necessary to tell your family, and you think they would react badly, I'd suggest keeping it to yourself for right now only because if they do decide to kick you out, you might have a hard time finding a place to stay, and even if they don't relationships would change. That's not to say you definitely shouldn't tell them, I think if your gut really tells you that you should, go for it, but don't expect such a happy ending...

It's a phase.

I would keep it to yourself. No point in coming out to people who aren't going to accept you anyways.

Maybe you should wait for a while.
I mean you're still young, your hormones are going around all over the place, it might be a phase, or it might not. It could be an idea to wait and see :)

and I would have no idea how to go about it, I guess just sitting them down and coming out with it.

You're only 13, and your right. It could just be a phase. I'm 15 (will be in 10 days) but I've already decided my sexuality and even though I've had two years being the way I thought I am, there are times when I doubt that I actually like boys any more. So don't come out yet. Wait it out until you are positively, absolutely sure that this is who you are. Don't do anything rash.