Is It Still 'Just a joke"? - Comments

This journal was really sweet, I'm happy that you wrote it. Maybe it'll be able to help someone who is also struggling with self-harm. <3

I'm a self-harmer myself as well, I've been doing it in various forms for years. It's something that's been with me for so long and sometimes I really doubt I'll ever be able to truly stop doing this to myself in some way.

This is amazing omg. <3

Thank you. For posting this I mean.

Thank you for posting this. I too struggled with the effects of self harm after my mother passed away. It was hard enough on my dad and brother so I never let them know just how much pain I was feeling in the months/years that followed.

When I finally got caught, my dad was furious. To this day, I cannot recall a single time he has blown up at me as harshly as he did the day he found out I was cutting myself. He threatened to send me away if I ever did anything so "stupid and selfish" again. And I believed him. I can't say I'm proud of what I've done--am still doing--but I guess I am glad to say that the urge to mutilate myself has progressively slowed. I don't feel as stressed anymore so I don't feel the need to cut.

I don't think I can ever be completely and totally cured of my bad habit but I'm trying. I just have to think of how I'm hurting other people around me, no matter how good that blade feels grazing across my skin.

I'm really so glad you made this. I've never said this to anyone before but while I was going through so really tough shit for 3 months and on top of that I was being ridiculed and put down almost every day for it. I eventually convinced myself that if I fucked up that I was basically dead and I battled myself to not send a blade through my neck right then.

I mean I literally stood in the middle of my room at like 4 in the morning having not slept for almost 3 days with a big ass blade to my neck and I had to talk myself down. I seriously just wanted it to end, but even though I didn't kill myself right then I still had this urge to just fuck myself up badly and then I started to cut, and every time something happened again I would cut and cut.

But I seriously sit down, with my mom and everybody and had a serious talk and I realized it just wasn't worth it. My friends are already asking me wtf is up with my hand but I just come up with some excuse.

I wouldn't say I'm broken, and I wouldn't say I'm shattered because that moment was just a point in my life where my sanity had disappeared completely. for a while. But I realized that my life is more important than that shit ... at that moment I seriously didn't know.