Thesis question - Comments

Thank you guys for the help! It's just tying in the historical context that's hard for me!

Your thesis sounds pretty good from my point of view. My tips on thesis statements:

1. Your thesis is what you will be arguing/explaining throughout the whole paper, so make it specific but not overly so.
2. Don't over elaborate. I usually just write one sentence for my thesis.
3. Thesis = preview of what you will be talking about in the paper.

It's basically just the main idea or the main point of your paper.

I had to write my first research paper for school recently and here's what I retained about the thesis statement:

-Try to sum up EVERYTHING (at least your main points) in the thesis.
-The thesis can be one or two sentences, but not longer than two.

That sounds like a good thesis to me :) I don't know what your teacher wants, but your topic sounds very interesting :D