Nightmares. - Comments

oh well, we can get u a fake ID i guess
all my mates r younger than me, and the only one ho was older than me moved to ireland and i havnae seen him since last may
and that sucks
so, fake ID??

Are you serious?! You were born on 4/20?? Dang. Lol.

My birthday is July 1st. :[. I have to go like, a million times and get hammered with different people. My friend in November. Three friends have to go with me to get hammered, cause their birthday is before mine. I have a friend in August Ima go get drunk with. Lol. So I'm going to get drunk more then once in that year. Hahaha.

come to scotland and we can get hammered together!!
when's ur birthday??
mines april 20th

I'm like Gerard Way I think too. I'm probably a bit of every member of MCR. For different reasons. Lol.

I might go to Canada on my 18th. Just to get hammered. But I have to go with a friend, cause I'm not doing it alone. Lol.

i'll probably get hammered on my eighteenth
unless our laws have changed by then
i kinda hope they do, but i kinda hope they dont
sometimes i get the feeling that i'm really similar to gerard way
i seriously do think i will be fucked up
then someones gonna do something, and i'll snap out of it
if that comes true, i will be EXTREMELY freaked out

Eeh. True. I had to change. I didn't do it for them, because if they really thought I could change, they would of stuck around, ya know?

So I proved them wrong. And that's my main thing. Is to prove anyone and everyone wrong of me. Its like, an OCD thing, I need to do it.

I don't do drugs, or take any meds, or smoke, or drink. And I never will. I've had bad stuff happen with pills. Booze just doesn't work for me. Smoking is just disgusting. And drugs have messed up my brother's life, so they would probably mess up mine. My mom use to smoke and drink. But now she only drinks. and I hate it. Pills, even if its a headache, I freak out about taking that kind of stuff, because I've had bad experiences with it.

But I don't consider myself straightedge. I'm probably going to get totally hammered on my 21st birthday. Hah.

i've already messed myself up big time. my friends know that
i dont think they expect me to change for the better
god, it'd probably be worse if i had access to alcohol and cigaretes. i'd probably go off the rails and get drunk a lot
but that probably wont happen until the law says i'm old enough to get pissed
oh god, thats not gonna be fun

Lol. I just hide away from my parents for the day. And say I ate while they were at work or something. So that was the easy part.

The hardest thing about being anorexic is probably...When you get used to it, cause you do it for so long. It's happened to me before. I was losing a lot of weight, after I bloated from not eating [[That's what happens, you bloat then deflate. Lol]] Anyways, I got used to it, not eating, and when I started getting sick, cause I was a veggie at the time, I couldn't puke anything up.

And it was gross. And the hardest thing about being Bulimic, is shoving all that food down your mouth, even if your past the point of full. That was probably the hardest. But then that got disgusting. Lol. So I stopped.

And yeahh. I skipped lunch too. But half of my friends did with me, not because they were like me, but because they didn't like the food and stuff. And they'd be starving, but I'd never complain. I've learned to shut up about that stuff.

Eh, I don't recommed being anorexic or bullimic, ever. I had the hardest times with it. And I lost so many people close to me, cause I was messing up myself, and I didn't care what they thought. And I messed up a lot in junior high. But now im better, and its high school in 9 days. It's like a new start, but with my flaws still on mind.

i would hate that
at school, i skip lunch, at my friends hate me doing it, but they seem to just give up eventually. once my mate Demi dragged me up to the dinnerladies and told them i hadn't eaten my lunch. it took me 10 minutes to get away from them
and i never took nothing that the dinnerladies offered
i'm proud of myself
if my parents didnt care about me, i probaby would have anorexia and bulimia
only problem is, i cant make myself sick
i've tried. i just couldnt do it
and i can do the reading and walking around thing too!! my parents hate me doing that as well. its so annoying

Awh, eating chicken really isn't that bad. I mean, I just don't like eating meat. And my parents think its just a phase cause im a teenager. But they'll see. | :

Anyways. I have a bad diet right now too. And my parents aren't supportive of me changing anymore, cause they think i'll get sick. But I won't. ._. I know how to take care of myself.

But. I've had many differnet eating disorders in junior high. Both bullimic, and anorexia. And yeahh. My friends know about it. So every time im at their house or something, and their eating they make me eat with them...Even though im seriously not hungry.

Ergh.

Lol. I'll read when im walking cause I can see where everyone is, even though im paying attention to the book, and my parents hate that, cause they think im going to run into someone or something.

I was like, wtfff I can do it. Lol. Like right now, I can listen to music and read at the same time. And people think im crazy, cause if its their favorite song they'll sing along and lose concentration in the book, but I just learn to ignore the music when I read. But I still know im listening to music. O_o. Lol.

i couldnt live without chicken. never
its one of the only meats i eat
i have a really bad diet

I'm good too. Lol.

and I didn't know where you were. So you live in Holland too?

I don't know how to spell, so ignore that. ._.

I'll read your journals. :]. Andd yeah, I was a lacto-ovo-vegitarian for about three months, but then I started getting sick from not enough protein, so my mom made me eat meat again. But now im slowly getting off meat, and I'm making sure im eating peanuts and cheese, and protein things, so that doesn't happen again. = D.

oh god!! the last harry potter book is brill!! i finished it in two days
wood have been sooner if my parents had stopped telling me to quite reading
cool
i've had glasses since i was about nine
i'm longsighted, so i need to use them for reading too

i'm tryna write a new chapter for a new story i thought up
but the words just wont come to me
i think its because i'm not concentrating on it all that much

Hahaha. There was this lady at this store today with a high voice...It was creepy.

Anyways. IM GETTING GLASSES NEXT WEEK. I'm so excited. I've wanted glasses ever since like, 4th grade. | :

I'm just weird like that. Haha. I've never been to the eye doctor. But the glasses im getting are for reading. = D.

Speaking of reading, I just got Harry Potter's 7th book. And the Freedom Writer's Diary at Barns N` Nobles. Woot. I'm already on page, 79 or something in the Freedom Writer's Diary. Wee.

lol! how do you know where i am :S

i'm a veggie /struggling vegan lol!!!!

read me journal.... i need to go to town but i don't want to stop listening to the song =]

i've been having that dream since i was like, four
and i'm always about four in the dream too
i dont know why
and i'm good thanks, you??

Lol. The first time I was uber tired, so I said screw it and turned over and fell back to sleep.

But now im awake. :[.

yeah
its half eleven in scotland just now
i'm getting my eyes tested at 2
yay!! i dunno why, but i actually like getting my eyes tested
oh god, i need to put up with this new woman with a squeaky voice
urgh!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!