Around this time when I was turning 16 three years ago one of my best friends got sent away for a couple months to a mental institution as well. I tried for years to help her and it got to me that she didn't care that I wanted her to get better or that I wanted her to live. She kept trying to end her life and I felt like my friendship wasn't good enough for her. So, she went in and she missed my birthday because she didn't have a calendar there or anything. I couldn't talk to her for awhile, but one day she was able to call me from her mom's cellphone while she was visiting her. She eventually got out, wasn't right, and then went back in this past summer for a bit. She's okay now, but she's on a lot of medication. So, I understand what you are writing about. It's hard because I tried to tell myself to stop caring so much or to stop taking it so personally because it wasn't about how she viewed me as a friend, but how she viewed herself and her quality of life. All you can do is continue to be there for her and show her how much she means to you. You alone unfortunately can't make her better, but you can help. Try not to act like her therapist/doctor/etc, because when you assume that role, you're setting yourself up for immense stress and pain. It's exactly what I did and I wish I hadn't. I used to wonder at night if she was going to be alive in the morning. It got really bad, but then things got better. They always do.
January 23rd, 2013 at 01:35am