Welcome to Mibba. I think you'll like it a lot around here, there's a lot of people willing to help you out. If you want to, you could submit your story into the Comment Swap feature. You may be able to get a comment that helps you out and offers you constructive criticism, though you will need to comment on someone else's story as well.
If you're interested, I have two horror stories. One is called Kuchisake-onna and the other one is Kokkuri, they're both original fiction one-shots based off of Japanese urban legends.
Hi my name is Felicity, welcome to Mibba :) I hope you're able to find everything well, and have fun while you're here. I write fanfictions but I have a few original oneshots if you're interested. :3 Lemme know if you need anything, I'd be happy to help!