My Take on the Whole Shaming Thing. - Comments

@raroman
Exactly. People shouldn't make assumptions for others based on their own experience. Just because it's more normal to have pre-marital sex these days doesn't mean everyone has. Personally, I don't believe in it. That's what I'm gonna teach my kids. I think that's why I got a little upset, like it's not unrealistic if that's how you were raised.

I think having sex only after marriage is more uncommon than unrealistic (in this day and age) but honestly you'd need to have lots of data to make that assumption. It's like saying being a woman, intelligent, black, gay or whathaveyou is a minority. Because it might seem that way, but it's most likely not.

@Kinki Jinki
Even if that is how he meant it, I still don't see how saving myself for marriage is unrealistic. Yeah, it probably helps that I have trust and anxiety issues and don't want to make myself so vulnerable to another person, but I think the over-sexualized media actually makes me want to abstain even more. I see all these women scantily clad (not that there's anything wrong with that) and it just makes me wanna go put on a band t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Like honestly, the thought of having sex at all scares me a lot and I don't know why.

Maybe what your classmate meant was that, these days, we're exposed to sex a lot more than people in the 50's were. These days, the media is highly sexualized. That's how I interpret it, anyway.
However, people who want to "save themselves" for marriage shouldn't be shamed. But I've also seen virgins shaming people who've had sex, like when Jordin Sparks claimed, before an audience and with thousands of people watching on TV, that she had a purity ring because "not everyone wants to be a slut".

@Xia;
Honestly, sex kinda scares me and I have no idea why. Maybe it's my bad body image? Or overall trust issues? But that's my reason to wait for marriage, and people think there's something wrong with that.

@sobri mi cadaver
I totally agree.

Body-policing is bad just in general. I despise it on all its forms (slut-shaming, virgin-shaming, body type-shaming, and the list goes on).

I did a blog on "virgin shaming" a while ago and its nice to see someone else bringing it up.

Being a virgin seems to be more of a shame than people say its not. If we haven't had sex, we're frigid and there's something probably wrong with us that makes us unattractive. If we don't want sex, we're a freak.

I agree with you, though my opinion still stands - I think someone is a slut if they sleep with a lot of people who are very obviously taken/in a relationship. :/

Well said, well said! Its also incredibly true. I'm really tired of it being so awful to make a comment about someone who decides to have sex but its perfectly fine to make a comment about someone who decides not to.